Here’s a pretty picture to clearly illustrate the state of American politics today: Florida Sen. Marco Rubio, hot on the heels of the end of his sluggish though stylish campaign, is likely to endorse Republican candidate Ted Cruz, a man who has bullied him mercilessly for months.

On Saturday, two men matching the description of escaped prisoners Richard Matt and David Sweat were seen in the Allegany County town of Friendship, near New York’s border with Pennsylvania, the Guardian reports.

Mario Alberto Lizalde Reyes turned himself into Chihuahua, Mexico police the day after he allegedly shot his best friend Mario Hernandez Banda dead, cut off his penis, and fed the severed organ to his dog.

How was your Memorial Day weekend? Hopefully great. Hopefully a Memorial Day weekend you will never forget. Us Weekly reports that humble Christmas tree farmer Taylor Swift passed the weekend in the State of Rhode Island and Providence Plantations, where she recently purchased a sprawling $17M beachfront mansion filled to the brim with tasteful striped fabrics and whispers and ghosts. A couple weeks ago, a man from Illinois was arrested after allegedly swimming up to the mansion while Taylor Swift wasn't there, but he was not invited to Memorial Day. She was joined by Hailee Steinfeld, the 16-year-old who played a 14-year-old girl in True Grit, and Gossip Girl's Jessica Szohr, who spent the weekend getting cut out of paparazzi photos of Taylor Swift and Hailee Steinfeld.

Last month, A.J. Daulerio—my boss and my roommate—stood in one of Nick Denton's giant Soho windows, and addressed the crowd gathered to celebrate his abruptly abandoned term as Gawker editor-in-chief. For about five minutes, he went through a list of people he somehow owed: former Gawker managing editor Lockhart Steele ("He's the only one who taught me how to do everything"); Jezebel's Jessica Coen ("The person who taught me how to blog"); former Deadspin editor Will Leitch ("I couldn't be more indebted to him for supporting me at a time when no one else did"); current Deadspin editor Tommy Craggs ("The best hire I ever made"); his former Gawker right hand, Emma Carmichael ("The person that I'm going to miss working with the most because she's everything about this company that's good"); the owner of it all, Denton ("He's the best guy you're ever gonna work for").

Defense Secretary Robert Gates kicked off his weeklong Asia trip by hanging out with Chinese military leaders.

Here's a map of the world, as drawn by Facebook (click to enlarge it). What does that mean? Well, basically: The entire image is defined not by topographical features or political boundaries, but by Facebook friendships.

Jerry Douthett wouldn't get his severely infected toe examined. Then one night, after drinking "five or six beers" and "huge margaritas," he passed out and his dog, Kiko, crawled into bed and ate his big toe. It saved Jerry's life.

These Russian guys look super plastered. Maybe, they're bodies have been taken by evil spirits. Or, they could just be abstract performance artists...either way, it makes for good entertainment.

Please, everyone, for the love of God: Stop changing your Facebook profile pictures to your famous "doppelgänger." It's revealing some uncomfortable truths about our friendship.

Shirley Phelps-Roper is the spokeswoman for Westboro Baptist Church, the truly execrable fringe group of psychos known for picketing the funerals of dead US soldiers because they believe their deaths are the result, somehow, of God's hate for gays. Josh Kilmer-Purcell is a gay New York author, ad executive, and veteran of the drag queen circuit under the name "AquaDisiac." But Kilmer-Purcell is busy being friends with the crazy lady [Ad Age]! "Like any good gay person, I'm trying to render her powerless by turning her into an anti-diva," he says. "She thinks I'm going to hell, and I think she's a bit overzealous, but beyond that, we have a surprising amount of things in common." It's the oddest couple since Devito and Schwarzenegger! Seriously, we have no idea. After the jump, a clip of Shirley Phelps-Roper being too insane for even Sean Hannity to bear: