Archer, the show you should be watching right now, has a plan and sticks to it. A combination of quick wit, literary and pop-culture references, and a whole lot of bouncing tits and ass has kept us enthralled.
There are only so many ways you can say a show is brilliant and hilarious, so instead of saying how funny Archer is, we'll just show you. This week? Swapping xanax and oxycontin labels to confuse your servants.
Tonight FX launches Archer, the latest animated concoction meant to amuse men people far too old to be watching cartoons. All these shows seem the same, but there are really subtle shades of difference that reveal much about their audience.
The scale and volume of the following for TV's most unlovable gang of losers was on display last night at New York's Beacon Theater where the gang put on a musical entitled The Nightman Cometh. Defamer went to bear witness.
We don’t know about you, but the most surprising thing about hearing Courteney Cox’s FX show Dirt is being canceled was learning that it was still on the air. Sure, we recall the industry anticipation about yet another Friend comeback, the mildly intriguing pilot in which a cokehead actress overdoses in a bathtub, and then there was all that hullabaloo about the big lesbian makeout scene between Cox and Jennifer Aniston. But after getting all excited and finally watching the lukewarm peck, we gave up on the patchy attempt at nailing the current clusterfuck that is tabloid journalism these days. But as Cox told TV Guide at a benefit last night, the gig is up for good. The good news? Courteney and second fiddle husband David Arquette are planning to “all kinds of stuff” with their jointly run and oddly named production company, Coquette. Just as soon as David unlocks the bathroom door in which he’s been violently weeping all weekend. [TV Guide]
· HBO shakes things up in their original series development department, moving longtime president Carolyn Strauss into a new, not-quite-fired-but-let's- see-what-some-new-blood- can-do-about- never-letting- John From Cincinnati -happen-again position. [Variety]
· Hollywood StrikeWatch 2: The Bickering. SAG and AFTRA can't seem to decide whether basic cable should be included in the upcoming actors negotiation, leading to a flurry of strongly worded letters and "near-constant sniping" between the two unions, who'll ultimately air out their differences in a choreographed rumble in the Farmers Market parking lot, set to the music of Leonard Bernstein. [Variety]
· Marvel Studios has sold the exclusive broadcast rights to FX for a package of five of their movies, including the upcoming Iron Man and The Incredible Hulk, along with three more, yet-to-be-determined titles. (We're pulling for a She-Hulk Vs. She-Thing, starring Rachel Bilson and Mischa Barton.) [Variety]
· Anxious that the Oscars are approaching and he still has no real idea of whether or the WGA—obviously a little preoccupied with their own issues—intends to grant a waiver for their awards ceremony, Academy president Sid Ganis begs the Guild for answers so that complicated logistical issues can be resolved. "We're running out time! [desperate punctuation ours]," wails Ganis, pleading for the sweet release of either a simple "yes" or "no." [Variety]
· Following his reported Monday dismissal from CAA for allegedly getting caught with his hand too far into Oprah's network cookie jar, reality TV agent Michael Camacho lands at UTA after "competitive and aggressive courting" by other agencies who believe that the controversy just proves he's an impish go-getter who might have gotten a little carried away during that recent Death Star misadventure. [THR]
· Golden Globes producers await a decision on whether or not the WGA will grant their (probably doomed) waiver request to allow striking writers to whip them up a script, a wish that they've already granted for their supportive bretheren in SAG's upcoming awards show. Meanwhile, the industry wonders who'll be willing to cross the picket line to attend the Globes ceremony. [Variety]
· Fox pushes back Avatar, director James Cameron's much-anticipated return to theaters, from Memorial Day 2009 to December 18th, then spackles that mid-year holiday weekend hole with Ben Stiller's Night a the Museum sequel. [THR]
Once again proving that she has absolutely no flair for the kind of sensationalist buzz-building that might generate some interest in her returning FX series Dirt, Courteney Cox Arquette misses a great opportunity to hint—however untruthfully—that Jennifer Aniston will return in the show's second season to alleviate the viewer blueballs induced by the disappointing kiss the two former Friends shared, finally consummating the hot, Monica-on-Rachel action we still so desperately crave. (But Tom Arnold will be making an appearance. Get excited!) On the other hand, she still won't close the door on a possible Friends reunion, so maybe that inevitable project (hey, Matt LeBlanc's gotta eat) will eventually provide a better opportunity for the fulfillment of this lingering fantasy. [Us]
· NBC angers its network rivals by working some technically allowed, but "morally" questionable, Nielsen voodoo by repeating its Heroes premiere on Saturday night and adding that showing's ratings to the series' original Monday night number. We think. This developing feud over ratings-reporting gamesmanship is as confusing as it is scintillating. [Variety]
· In simpler Nielsen-related news, House is still huge, averaging 18.1 million viewers in its best-ever performance not artificially enhanced by an American Idol lead-in [THR]
· Creative triple-threat Kevin James will write, produce, and star in Mall Cop. We'll refrain from relating the logline and let your imaginations run wild with the comedic possibilities evoked by the combination of America's most beloved schlub and that offbeat occupation. [Variety]
· Fox calls up Nip/Tuck creator Ryan Murphy from its FX basic-cable farm team to their network major league club, giving a series commitment to Murphy's female workplace drama Queen B. [THR]
· NBC will bottle up eight midseason episodes of Mark Burnett's latest reality TV brain fart, My Dad Is Better Than Your Dad, which seeks to combine "the family fun and kid empowerment of '[Are You Smarter Than A] 5th Grader' with the universally relatable concept of bragging that your dad is best." It's still unclear whether or not the proud fathers in question will be required to beat each other senseless at the end of each show to truly prove their paternal supremacy. [Variety]
· Hollywood Out of Directors: "Dimension Films has set a November 26 start date for Comeback, an inspirational sports drama that Ice Cube will star in and produce. Fred Durst will direct." [Variety]
· 13.9 million viewers tuned in to watch The Hoff declare the guy with his hand up a turtle puppet's ass the Most Talented Man in America. [THR]
· FX greenlights Nip/Tuck creator Ryan Murphy's transsexual drama 4 oz., but since the pitch was bought in the room by president John Landegraf, the central tranny's vocation has been changed from sportswriter to gynecologist. (Was it originally too close to the story of the LAT's Mike Penner/Christine Daniels?) Murphy ambitiously envisions his protagonist's journey from male ladydoctor to lady ladydoctor to unfold over four seasons. [Variety]
· A study claims that people's internet-time is now rivaling their TV-time, a finding that the studios will do their best to ignore during their fight with the various guilds over online residuals. [THR]
· Joey Fatone is trying to become TV Guide Channel's budget-friendly answer to Ryan Seacrest. [Variety]
So popular was Rosie O'Donnell's guest starring stint on Nip/Tuck—which included an infamous sex scene on a zebra-skin rug that inspired a great many viewers to blind themselves on the nearest coffee-table corner and/or coat hook—that the prospect of a fifth season of the FX drama without O'Donnell's character seemed unthinkable. Rest easy, Dawn Budge fans—more naked Rosie awaits:
After weathering a flatly written exchange in which Aniston's lesbian character tells Cox, "This is no way to live! You don't deserve to be alone," (oh, the bitter irony), then some innuendo about past dalliances between the characters (four implied times!), and one brushed off ass-grab (easy there, lesbian tiger), we finally get the kiss: A closed mouth cutaway unlikely to moisten the panties of even the show's most incontinent viewers. Have a look, trying not to sigh too loudly over this squandered opportunity to exploit ten seasons' worth of crackling, Sapphic sexual tension.
While Courteney Cox has previously warned hot-lesbian-action-obsessed gawkers (does the L Word not satisfy all their masturbation needs?) with no genuine interest in her series that her much-anticipated kiss with longtime Friend Jennifer Aniston will not be particularly hot, lesbian, or action-packed, we nonetheless have clung to the irrational hope that the prudish Cox was intentionally misrepresenting the moment, and that a dedicated Aniston managed to power a tongue through her co-star's tight-lipped defenses in the name of artistic truth. After today's NY Times review of the Dirt season finale, we think we're finally able to let this one go:
Demonstrating that she fundamentally misunderstands the entire purpose of stunt-casting her former Friends castmate in a role that requires some light lesbianism, Courteney Cox did her best to desensationalize the kiss she and Jennifer Aniston share on the season finale of Dirt, dumping a bucket of ice water into the laps of millions of tumescent potential viewers hoping to finally see their cherished fantasies of a little Monica-on-Rachel action realized on TV:
A couple of weeks ago at the TCA cable press tour, FX president John Landegraf played it a little coy when he hinted that things on new offering Dirt would get better about five episodes into the season, but didn't indicate exactly what form the coming improvement would take. According to TV Guide.com, viewers who stick with the show a little longer will be treated to the kind of stunt-lesbianism usually reserved for more established series in need of a ratings boost:
TV Week's Critical Eye blog once again descends into the junketastic hell that is the Television Critics Association press tour, where boob-tube stars and programming executives submit themselves to panel discussion firing-squads in between parties where they're forced to mingle with their critical executioners. The Eye called yesterday's Dirt panel one of the "most anticipated" of the week, as bloodthirsty critics would finally have a chance to confront the people responsible for a show they've taking great glee in savaging, and recounts FX President John Landegraf's (shocking!) admission that he'll take ratings over praise, as well as his hopes that audiences will hang around long enough to see the series get better:
A Defamer operative who got his hands on a preview screener of FX's upcoming Dirt, Courtney Cox's attempt to launch an edgy, post-Friends TV career on basic cable by playing precisely the type of tabloid editor who torments her and her camera-shy family on a daily basis, submitted this brief review of the series's first two episodes. [Mild spoilers ahead, we suppose] As expected, there's FX's requisite naughtiness in the form of some semi-nudity and light swearing; somewhat less expected: Cox's repeated use of a vibrator and ex-Laker Rick Fox being bent over a hot tub and sodomized by a strap-on. Says our tipster:
