A New Jersey man is suing his former boss for allegedly yanking on one of his testicles during an off-site “team building” meeting, causing severe damage that led to three surgeries and an eventual amputation, the New York Post reports. The ball-busting boss was later fired, but the victim says coworkers made fun of him for being sans one nut.

We've all been there, posing for Good Housekeeping magazine while inhaling the zesty aroma of a pasta dish so succulent that there's a little movement— ooh— aahh— please turn to page 162 for stain removal tips.

Meet Maurizio and Roberto Viel. They are twin brothers who co-own a plastic surgery practice and have performed multiple procedures on one another to increase their resemblance. (Maurizio gave Roberto a nose job; Roberto plumped Maurizio's face.) One surgery they have not performed on each other, however, is their practice's specialty: Penis enlargement.

Two young women were charged with third-degree invasion of privacy today, after they allegedly captured and posted on Facebook a photo of elderly nursing home resident's genitals.

No longer content to obsess about the genital structures between your legs, Cosmopolitan magazine has now uncovered an "above-the-waist G-spot" in females, an "eye erection" capacity in males, and a secret penis in the tip of a man's nose. Is this a fetish or something? An evolution of acrotomophilia, perhaps?

So Duck Sauce, the house-music superduo that brought us "Barbra Streisand," has a brand new single out, as relentlessly catchy as the last. It's called, "Big Bad Wolf," and it goes, "The Big Bad Wolf. The Big Bad Wolf. The Big Bad Wolf. The Big Bad Wolf. A-WOOOOOOOO. (Repeat 6x)." And here's the video! It's...well — perhaps the less said about it the better. But let's put it this way: 100-Pound Scrotum Guy? You no longer have to feel like you have the freakiest nuts on the internet. (Kind of NSFW, but not technically.) [via RollingStone.com]

The five million viewers who tuned in for The Great British Bake Off finale that aired Tuesday on the BBC were distracted — and some permanently scarred — by this lingering shot of a squirrel with humongous genitals. Enjoy. [via Daily Mail]

Jerry Brown struck a mighty blow to the Occupy Foreskin movement on Sunday, as the California governor signed a bill preventing local governments from banning circumcision in males. Back in July, a judge had ruled a ballot proposal outlawing circumcision in San Francisco, backed by 7,700 supporters, to be unconstitutional. Now, thanks to bill AB768 — or what will eventually come to be known as "Jerry's Bill" — no male child in California will ever be denied his God-mandated right to circumcision again. Let the protests commence! Bay Area Urban Docking League, you have the floor. [AP]

And it's official: as expected, a judge in California has ruled that a ballot proposal to ban circumcision in San Francisco "violates the U.S. Constitution's guarantee of religious freedom," as well as California law. It's off the ballot.

The peen protecting crusaders who brought you the anti-Semitic Aryan comic book hero "Foreskin Man" are on the verge of losing their hard-fought campaign to get an anti-circumcision bill on the city's November ballot, after San Francisco Superior Court Judge Loretta Giorgi yesterday said the proposal was "expressly preempted" by state law. From the San Francisco Chronicle's Heather Knight:

We finally have a few more details about the hours before a California woman, Catherine Kieu, chopped off her husband's penis and tossed it into the garbage disposal. Some had speculated that an argument over houseguests set her off on a chopping rampage. And now, according to court papers obtained by the Los Angeles Times, there had been a "male friend staying with them, but Kieu did not want the friend to stay with them." And then this happened:

A Finnish economist took one of those ridiculous worldwide penis studies that are always circulating and charted it against GDPs, to study that critical ratio between penis size and wealth. It's the classic golddigger's dilemma—are any of the rich ones worth fucking?—but on a global scale!

Noted secessionist and Governor of Texas Rick Perry still has your junk on his mind. Previously, the Texas Senate tried and failed to outlaw the TSA's enhanced pat downs in airports across the state after the Justice Department basically told them to fuck off. But Perry won't let go, and he has added legislation to a special session of the state senate that would criminalize "intrusive touching" by TSA employees. Lt. Governor David Dewhurst told the Houston Chronicle, "Addressing unreasonable and unlawful searches of innocent travelers by some TSA employees is an issue that affects all Texans who use air travel, and it should not wait until next Session."

Attention, discerning auctiongoers! The head of St. Vitalis of Assisi — the patron saint of genital disease — is up for auction in Ireland this coming Sunday. Obama must be so bummed he just left!

Some group of shrill ninnies called the Illinois Family Institute is angry at Prairie Ridge high school teacher Jacqulyn Levin because she used a little mnemonic song called "the Vagina Dance" to help her sophomore students remember their anatomy lesson.

Fisher-Price has recalled 7 million plastic tricycles that have a "protruding plastic ignition key near the seat" that can cause, among other things, "genital bleeding." Shudder. Four million other toys and chairs are also being recalled. [AP]

Men! Even when they groom like women, they are pigs. Salon interviewed women who wax men's balls. One described a client get so turned on, she had to shoot him with a taser. Another said Christopher Hitchens is weirdly flexible.

The death of advertising euphemism strikes again. Embarrassingly Victorian demure ads are still preferable to in-your-face vagina-throwing (in this context). The literal translation of these metaphors: "Cut Your Pussy Bush, With Schick." [via Adfreak]

"Say 'farewell to Bush'"—with 20% off a Brazilian bikini wax at Bliss Spa! Yea, the joke is hackneyed. But at least the motherfucker was finally good for something. [Blissworld]

The fun just never ends on The Today Show, no matter how much you pray to your pathetic "gods." Here, Al Roker makes an inexplicable joke about Tiki Barber padding his crotch and makes Matt kinda uncomfortable. Thankfully, he spares Ann Curry the indignity of having her name mentioned in the same breath as genital sheaths, except he doesn't. Then we have "some serious news to get to."