Breakups have a way of robbing you of your identity, especially when you’re the one who’s being broken up with. If the union was worth joining in the first place, severing it disrupts your habits, your decision-making, your system of loving. It erases the mutations your love has engendered. You don’t even get to keep them in a jar of formaldehyde. Your best chance at preservation is art.
Twenty-five years ago today, George Michael kicked off his solo superstardom proper with "I Want Your Sex," the first single from his Faith album, which would follow in the fall. Notorious and shocking in its day (it was banned from the BBC), "I Want Your Sex" has aged hilariously. When I was 9 and didn't know anything about anything, "I want your sex," seemed like a plausible thing that one naughty adult might say to another. Now that I have conveyed that sentiment a variety of ways that span all the colors of the rainbow flag, I can say for sure that I never, ever, ever have uttered the words, "I want your sex" and meant them (and I am a straight shooter), nor have I heard anyone at any time do the same. Not to me, not to anyone. This song is a fantasy of expression.
Christmas carols can be beautiful reminders of one of the most exciting times of the year. They can also be horrible scourges that make you want to poke sharp objects in your ears. Here are some of the worst offenders.
Glee's Christmas episode should have been worse than seeing your fat Aunt Fanny in her holiday sweater with reindeer on it. Yet it turned out to be a bright, shining gift under our tree. Praise the Baby Jesus.
• Tiger Woods' mistress tally is quickly approaching the double digits. Jamie Jungers, a Las Vegas model, says she had a two-year affair with Woods; then there's Cori Rist, an aspiring model, who says she started seeing Woods after meeting him at Butter. To top it all off, porn star Holly Sampson has also been mentioned as a woman Woods was involved with, although she's yet to confirm or deny the report. Meanwhile, Queen Oprah thoughtfully reached out to Tiger over the weekend and offered him the opportunity to tell his side of the story, and that may be his best chance yet of somehow saving his rep at this point. [NYDN, E! NYDN]
• Alexa Joel, the daughter of Billy Joel and Christie Brinkley, is recovering at home after what seems to have been a suicide attempt on Saturday. Joel took a bunch of homeopathic sleeping pills—possibly because she was upset over a break-up—and then called 911 herself. [NYP, NYDN, NYP]
• George Michael is back in the news and, as usual, it has nothing to do with his music. The singer was arrested on Friday for driving drunk when he crashed his car into a truck. Michael, however, is insisting he was sober at the time. So maybe he's just a bad driver? [NYDN, E!]
• Is Joe Simpson trying to push the producers of American Idol to hire Jessica Simpson to replace Paula Abdul? That's the rumor. [P6]
• Amy Winehouse's soon-to-be ex-husband, Blake Fielder-Civil says the singer has been "begging him to get back together." Uh oh. [DM]
• Beyoncé has been brushing up on her dance skills by "secretly" enrolling in ballet lessons at the Alvin Ailey School of Dance. [NYDN]
Chef, restaurateur, author, and cable fixture Anthony Bourdain turns 53 today. Judge (soon-to-be Justice) Sonia Sotomayor is turning 55. Burlap bag promoter and social fixture Lauren Bush is 25. Director Sidney Lumet (Serpico, Dog Day Afternoon) turns 85. Carly Simon is turning 64. Publicist Desiree Gruber is 42. Ricky Gervais of the UK version of The Office is 48. Angela Kinsey of the American version is turning 38. Gay rights activist Larry Kramer turns 74. Architect Alex Gorlin is 54. And George Michael celebrates his 46th birthday today.
Recently, things had been looking up for singer George Michael: not only had he embarked on his first world tour in years, but his music received another moment in the cultural spotlight thanks to the whimsical ABC series Eli Stone. (Here at Defamer, though, we'll maintain that his most triumphant turn of late was leading the insurrection against a held-hostage Dr. Phil at the Forum in June). Alas, all good things must come to and end, and for Michael, that fluorescent-lit endpoint was once again found in a public men's room:
♦ Martha Stewart has been busy wielding the ax. First she fired one of her show's directors; now she's cut her longtime hairstylist/makeup artist, allegedly because the staffer was spending too much on makeup and hair dye. [P6]
♦ The doctor who has been treating DJ AM and Travis Barker since their plane crash on Friday says both men should make full recoveries. Four others died in the wreck and investigators now suspect a blown tire was the cause. [People, LAT]
♦ Ron Perelman and Pat Duff are still fighting in court over their daughter Caleigh. It seem the teenager is still skipping out on those court-ordered visits with her mom. [P6]
♦ Lindsay Lohan will be a judge on the first episode of next season's Project Runway. [NYDN]
♦ Tina Fey was a big winner at the Emmys last night. You can check out a full list of winners here. [ET]
Poor George Michael. Just weeks after completing his first world tour in fifteen years, the singer was busted in a London public bathroom for drug possession. The police report doesn't name Michael, but sources confirmed to the British press that he was busted Friday for crack possession after a suspicious bathroom attendant tipped off the cops. This comes after his famous 1998 arrest by an undercover officer for lewd conduct in a Beverly Hills bathroom, and his 2006 adventure when he plead guilty to driving under the influence of drugs after being found slumped over the wheel of his car and was forbidden to drive for two years. This time, the law is taking it easy on the former Wham front man.
