Kudos to NYU's Brennan Center for Justice and the New York Times' Michael Powell for catching NYPD spokesman Paul Browne in massive, galling, and bald-faced lie. The man should be fired.

This kinky hip-hop star had quite the party in Sundance. Only this other celeb and a few women were invited and both men got to share. Speaking of sharing, this actress' new nanny is her partner's ex-lover. And baby makes four?

Complex magazine features Lana Del Rey, last week's sacrificial lamb, on the cover of their February/March issue and she looks exactly as you would expect her to look. She is a sexy, wet, pouty vintage movie poster. Like a faded French ad you would put in your bathroom if you were 21. The image is actually a great visual response to last week's issues; it is a strong look-at-me-I'm-still-standing-despite-all-you-mean-'ol-raindrops-pouring-down-on-my-talentless-parade, statement.

Last night barely divorced actress Demi Moore was taken to the hospital in an ambulance for issues related to substance abuse. We're not sure what the symptoms were or what the substances are, but 911 was called, so it couldn't have been pretty.

Julian Assange, the seed-spilling sex creep who devised an elaborate scheme involving a secret-killing web site and an international espionage investigation in service of his ultimate goal of becoming famous, is launching a television talk show.

In a prediction ripped right from Nostradamus' playbook, China's state news agency Xinhua has foretold of an influx of so-called "dragon babies" in the coming year, reports TIME.

A marriage equality bill is all but ensured to be passed in the Washington state legislature and will be signed into law by their governor, making it the seventh state in the country to allow gay men and lesbians to get married (well, to members of the same sex, that is). Congratulations, Seattle, you're about to get that much more self righteous.

You can only join the exclusive new social network TopCom if you're among the 200 richest people in the world. Then again, if you're on hand in Davos Switzerland when TopCom is unveiled by scary software compant Tibco, there's a pretty good chance you're in that group.

This has been a remarkably entertaining Republican primary season. Amidst all the insanity, there is one thing that is so odd, unnatural, and reprehensible that it boggles my mind. No, I'm not talking about Rick Santorum. I'm talking about Callista Gingrich's hair. Her butter-blonde helmet is a feat of modern engineering. How does she get it just so?

First-term Illinois Sen. Mark Kirk suffered a stroke this weekend and is now recovering from surgery. He had driven himself to the hospital "where doctors discovered a carotid artery dissection in the right side of his neck," according to his office. A neurosurgeon at the hospital says the stroke was on the right side of his brain, which "will affect his ability to move his left arm and possibly his left leg" and could result in "some facial paralysis." But it shouldn't affect his ability to speak or think.

TMZ reports that part of the reason the two are getting a divorce is due to Seal's "volcanic temper" and partially because their schedules could never sync-up. Don't bother Googling "angry seal" because otherwise, you'll get this Urban Dictionary definition: A sexual act where when a male is having sex with a female on the beach, pulls out, rubs his member in the sand, and then slides it back into her vagina.

The ratings are in for America Idol's two-part premiere this week and the numbers aren't good. It's average ratings among 18-44 year-olds (the only people the universe cares about) dropped 44% from two years ago. Yeah, that's almost half.

According to some dodgy sources, Camille Grammer, the only person to ever improve her image by doing a second season of a reality show, doesn't want to return to the Real Housewives of Beverly Hills for season three. What a shame.

Andrew Adler, the owner and publisher of the Atlanta Jewish Times, a weekly newspaper serving Atlanta's Jewish community, devoted his January 13, 2012 column to the thorny problem of the U.S. and Israel's diverging views on the threat posed by Iran. Basically Israel has three options, he wrote: Strike Hezbollah and Hamas, strike Iran, or "order a hit" on Barack Obama. Either way, problem solved!

Following Lana Del Rey's performance on SNL, the Internet rained down upon the singer its very own plagues. First, there was ridicule. Then, there were emails. And more emails making subtle demands. And finally, came the silencing rage of her publicists.

News Corp. CEO Rupert Murdoch's puzzling Twitter feed of spontaneous crank missives turned out this surprising political position this afternoon: "Carried interest tax racket. Billions over many years. Why and where has Obama been?" If we're translating this correctly, he's calling the controversial carried interest tax loophole, which is in the news thanks to Mitt Romney's comical tax history, a "racket" that his cost the Treasury billions of dollars in revenue over the years, and he's wondering why Obama hasn't pushed to eliminate it. Will the tycoon allow us the honor of correcting him?

In a new Rolling Stone interview, pale nerd king Julian Assange claims "hundreds" of women have ambushed him and tried to marry him while he's been under house arrest in England. We would love to hear from all of these suitors.

This troubled actress is partying and getting drunk once again. This celebrity couple swings and swaps spouses with this other famous pair. This actress plays beard for this actor's boytoys. The closet makes things so confusing.

Hopefully, people. Hopefully.

Just when you thought Mark Wahlberg had traded his racist streetfighting for hamburger franchises and Oscar nods, he gives a crazed interview bragging about bare-knuckling boxing with terrorists and never masturbating. This can only end in disaster.