Well so, if you couldn't tell I went to summer camp. It is my favorite place in the world because that is where I met all my favorite people in the world. More than that though, most of the things I hold to be true in this world, I learned from my camp friends. And one of those is the Muffled Tailpipe.

In a recent interview with Harper's Bazaar, plebeian prime minister Gwyneth Paltrow spoke about the joys of motherhood:

Don Cornelius, the host and founder of influential music show Soul Train, was found dead this morning in his Los Angeles home. He was 75 years old.

Feast your eyes on these terrifying members of Ukrainian feminist group, FEMEN. They are protesting the 2014 world cup, to be held in Belarus.

Snooki, she of the perpetually exposed labia, lover of Britney Spears Curious perfume, vokka, and smushing- above all, smushing- is pregnant. Or at least that is what the world's most trustworthy publications are claiming.

This actress was "necking" with another famous lady in public, and even got her number. This closet case's boyfriend dumped him after he wasn't allowed to go to a movie premiere and this couple has stayed together forever since they're both asexual. That's gotta be the world's most boring closet.

The city of Hoboken, New Jersey, has denied a request for a proposed MTV Jersey Shore spinoff starring the show's boozy Lucy and Ethel JWOWW and Snooki. Damn, no one in New Jersey wants these two.

It might be built on science, but Silicon Valley can be as fickle and fashion conscious as any Paris couturier. Back in 2004, for example, social networking looked trivial and grubby; truly cool programmers worked on swapping copyrighted music and movies. Even robotic Facebook founder Mark Zuckerberg was swept up in the trend, planning to sacrifice his now-$75 billion social network for a file-sharing venture, according to newly released instant messages.

Looks like bitter queen Elton John still has his sequined knickers in a bunch over Madonna beating him at the Golden Globes. Just when you thought their feud was going to take a break, he lashed out against her on Good Morning America.

This foreign royal likes to indulge in the booger sugar when he's out at night clubs. This singer is giving fans herpes, this actor hates a movie he's in, and this actress is pissed she was offered the role of an older woman. Maybe a coke bender with a member of the monarchy will cheer her up.

Gawker's substantial Mormon readership has come through for us: Two readers have sent us confirmation that Edward Davies, Mitt Romney's militantly atheist father-in-law, was indeed posthumously converted to Mormonism by his family, despite the fact that when he was alive he regarded all religions as "hogwash." UPDATE: Romney's brother-in-law responds below.

This leading lady was getting prescriptions filled from multiple on-set doctors. This actress slept with a casting director to get her big role (surprise, surprise) and this actress feels guilty that her movies objectify women. There's no pill to make that go away.

After Demi Moore's recent whip-it fiasco, it's become apparent that some of you do not know how to use whip-its. If we are anything here at Gawker, we are educators first and foremost. So while I wish Demi a speedy recovery, it is important that you all stop doing whip-its (not to be confused with my favorite butthole relaxant and room odorizer, Poppers) the wrong way. There is a right way to do them and I am here to teach you how. Also, don't be a goober; you should know what a whip-it is and how to do it by now.

One of the creepier corners of Mitt Romney's uncannily flawless life story is the fact that he not only drew his bride, Ann Romney, over to his weird religion: He converted her entire family as well. This despite the fact that Ann's father, Edward Davies, was a committed atheist who insisted on raising his children without religion.

Nobody seemed to know that Demi Moore was a wild whip-it party monster until she was hospitalized for a rumored whip-it induced seizure this week. Now that we know, though, the tabloids are doing catch-up. Here's all the wild whip-it partying they forgot to tell us about until now:

This famous music man keeps a bevy of beautiful women on the payroll. They're not for his pleasure, they're to lure in new artists. This actress doesn't want to keep her baby and another actress' famous husband is cheating with the nanny. See the trouble that happens when there are babies around?

Every story published in the New York Times Style section that in any way purports to report on any trend occurring in the borough of Brooklyn is always complete bullshit. Hey, here's one: "In Brooklyn, Committing to a Man Bun."

The Washington Post reports that Arlington National Cemetery is having a tiny problem-no big deal, nothing to worry about-locating $12 million dollars that was allocated to it between 2004 and 2010.

Monday night, Demi Moore took an ambulance to the hospital because of drugs. Well, her publicist said it was "exhaustion," but, fuck you, we know what that means. So everyone wondered just what drugs she was on. Now we know. It was Whip-Its.

It looks like 50 Cent has a lot riding on the Super Bowl. As The Hollywood Gossip pointed out, he accepted a bet on Twitter that means that if the Giants lose the Super Bowl he will publish a picture of his penis on the internet.