The Tea Party's very own Sheriff Joe Arpaio — famous for his pink panty fetish and for leading a department full of human traffickers — on Wednesday night met with "more than 325 people" (!) who fear that Barack Obama will try to run on 2012 ballots in Arizona's Maricopa County using a fake birth certificate. Oh yes.

Rogue Ron Paul supporter Robert Morrow took out a full-page ad in an Austin alt-weekly to ask a question: "Have you had sex with Rick Perry?" If you are a "stripper," "escort," or "young hottie" who has enjoyed a tall glass of that sweet Texas tea known as Gov. Rick Perry, then the Committee Against Sexual Hypocrisy (CASH) would like a word with you. "Is it a real group? No. It's just me," Morrow tells Salon.

Ashton Kutcher's editorship of Details was, as we noted yesterday, a brazenly self interested and highly misleading act of journalism. But it may have been a federal crime, too, judging from what the New York Times is reporting.

Yes, ladies and germs, you might just be seeing a little more of Mr. Manganiello. Also today: bad news for Kat Von D, good news for Josh Groban, and this summer is going to save the movie industry.

Larry Flynt, perpetual king of the publicity stunt, has offered Jersey Shore's awful outfit wearer Mike "The Fitchuation" Sorrentino money to wear his Hustler line of clothes. This comes days after Abercrombie & Fitch offered him cash not to wear A&F clothing in the world's first case of reverse product placement.

Twitchy sociopath James Murdoch may be on thin ice at News Corp., Reuters' Peter Lauria reports. Despite a public vote of confidence from his father during last week's earnings call—"I have full confidence in James"—some News Corp. executives are preparing for a post-James world, on account of how he lied to Parliament.

Groupon plans to sell itself to the public at a $30 billion valuation. It's worth noting, then, that the online discounter has accumulated liabilities that greatly exceed its assets and is now running low on cash. The technical term for this is "broke ass poor."

Cartoon Texan Rick Perry was asked this morning if he believed in evolution, and his answer was surprising. Not because he does not, in fact believe in evolution (it's just "a theory that's out there"), but because he admitted that the alternative to teaching evolution in schools is essentially religious indoctrination.

Joe Biden is currently touring China, where his speeches are so long and boring, they are literally inciting violence. Or, so says the Chinese government, which has been trying to shove reporters out the door every time Biden calls for "openness and candor" in Chinese-American relations:

Gwyneth Paltrow accepts responsibility for saving a woman's life on 9/11. Terrorists want to maim David Letterman. Jennifer Hudson is prefers losing weight to winning Oscars. The suicidal Housewives star's family might sue Bravo. Thursday gossip is "deeply moved."

Pope Benedict XVI — voice of the common man — had some choice words for Europe's economic policymakers today as he traveled to the Catholic Church's World Youth Day in Spain. And why not? They certainly deserve it.

Facebook's lawyers submitted evidence this week showing Paul Ceglia submitted forged evidence in an effort to lay claim to half of the social networking giant.

If you said David Letterman, you're wrong. It was Howard Stern he was referring to, whom he described on The Greg Fitzsimmons Show (a radio show on Howard 101) as a "shallow, money-grubbing Jew" with a "big hook nose." L'chaim.

A Denver suburb has made the preemptive decision to shut off two large fountains outside Dick's Sporting Goods Park — aka "The Dick" — where Phish will play over Labor Day weekend. But Commerce City mayor Paul Natale wants to be clear that this isn't a measure to, say, keep Phish fans from rinsing off their dirty hippie nether-regions during periodic lulls in 79-minute, freestyle versions of "Runaway Jim."

Not only did Ashton Kutcher pose for the cover of Details' September issue, he also edited a special "online only" version, out today. Turns out Hollywood's prettiest boytoy is one compromised whore of a magazine editor, directing most of his recommendations and profiles to tech companies he's invested in, with nary a word of disclosure. It's shameless even by Condé Nast standards.

Off-duty Secret Service agent Daniel L. Valencia was arrested for suspected drunk driving in Iowa on Saturday, where Obama was stopping on his bus trip. Maybe we now know who's responsible for all those Joe Biden motorcade accidents?

Anonymous isn't done with San Francisco's BART yet. After a leak of BART passenger data and a real-life protest in retaliation for BART cutting cell service in their stations to squelch protest, Anonymous has leaked what it claims are the email addresses, passwords, and addresses of 102 BART officers. [Photo via Getty]

Apparently David Cross and Amber Tamblyn are together? And have been, since 2009? And plan to stay that way, for the rest of their lives? Life & Style reports that the 47-year-old Arrested Development actor and 28-year-old Traveling Pants enthusiast have been engaged "for weeks." Congratulations to happy stealth couple! [L&S, images via Getty]

A federal judge has tossed the Equal Employment Opportunity Commission's class-action lawsuit accusing Bloomberg LLP of systematically discriminating against female employees who became pregnant.

Yesterday—after an anecdotal story about black women receiving hair pat-downs—we asked you, the traveling public, whether you've experienced racial profiling at the hands of the freedom-protecting TSA.