Britain's Thorpe Park was building a new water ride right on top of an ancient burial ground until workers started complaining about cold sensations and other ghostly feelings, so they've called in a paranormal detection agency. Great marketing scheme!

Even casual cable television viewers have probably noticed how oddly prevalent ghost hunting shows are. Every network seems to be getting one, so here are five made up shows that are almost certainly on their way.

Apparently, Dan Aykroyd, writer of Ghostbusters, actually believes in ghosts, and he is even a consultant for the Mutual UFO Network. The audience is clearly unsure of whether or not to take him seriously, and they giggle throughout the interview.

St. Vincent's Hospital in Greenwich Village officially shut down last April. They even boarded up the ER. Yet a tipster took this photo of the St. Vincent's windows just a week ago. Scooby-Doo: where are you?

What are the two scariest things known to man? Ghosts, because we can't see them and Spiders because... they're spiders. College Humor brings us a preview of the SyFy channel's latest intentionally ironic low budget horror film.

In search of paranormal activity, the ghost hunters venture to Colnbrook, England, home of the Ostrich Inn and the mass murderer that inspired the true tale of Sweeney Todd. Avoid ordering the meat pies while staying at this inn.

A lot of us have thought about pimping our house with secret tunnels and doorways, but constructing 950 doors to nowhere? Get the ins and outs of covert passageways throughout the ages from last night's episode of Modern Marvels.

When Maury Povich finally exhausted the "Who's the Daddy" and "I Slept With Your Brother" themed shows, they needed something fresh and exciting. Putting the Maury staff in a haunted room to look for ghosts? Sure, why not.

Today, noted Twitterer Peggy Noonan is writing fanfic about the ghosts of FDR and Nixon, who are coming back to Earth to advise their modern political parties. It is insane.

Billy Mays is dead, but his ghost will return to haunt your television until you order roll after roll of Mighty Tape, to quiet the bearded demon. It's what he would have wanted.

Have you heard the one about the ghost who haunts the Bowery Hotel and makes the elevators go haywire every night at 1 a.m.? We hadn't either. But that's what a vampire expert is telling people, and just in time for Halloween, too! [HotelChatter]

[One of those new "90210" actresses practicing a dance or some such nonsense; image via INF]

Click to viewBoomp3.com An ectoplasmic life form in the shape of one time musician Courtney Love terrorized a local Malibu strip mall on Tuesday afternoon. The grunge icon floated from boutique to boutique, leaving behind a trail of fine green viscous goo while on a mission to find a pair of killer boots and jeans. Shelley Jones, an unsuspecting customer, was harassed by the malevolent force and wasn’t too happy about it. Jones said, “I’m trying on these jeans and I’m partially dressed when out of nowhere Courtney Love’s torso pops through the side of the dressing room mumbling something about a size 4 jeans. I didn’t know what to do. I tried to call for help, but what kind of help are you going to get at a snotty boutique?” [Photo Credit: X17] *A Call To The Bullpen is a work of fiction. Although the pictures we use are most certainly real, Defamer does not purport that any of the incidents or quotations you see in this piece actually happened. Lighten up, people ... it's a joke.

Glaring Omissions reproduces tips received from readers in the last week that weren't covered on Gawker, either by accident (it happens!) or by design (that happens more often).

Director Steven Spielberg is going to launch a social network this year for people who've seen ghosts and aliens, according to TechCrunch. (This reminds me of my Baptist-school teacher who thought Spielberg's role on earth was to prepare humanity to accept a demon invasion through Spielberg's alien fiction.) This sounds suspiciously like a boring Internet forum, unless this one comes with annoying zombie apps, which would feel redundant really.

The Times chose to illustrate their story on the potential XM/Sirius merger. with an A.P. photo of Candace Bushnell interviewing Janice Dickinson for her Sirius show. (RELATED: Does every third-rate lit-celeb have a satellite radio show? And then when do they write?) But as a sharp-eyed tipster noted, "The real story is that two women of a certain age are being haunted by a trendy ethnic ghost with an upturned collar." If we didn't know any better, we'd say it's Ron Galotti. Either way, kinda spooky.