Teresa Giudice, Real Housewives of New Jersey star and proven finance wizard, has been tapped as a cast member for the next season of Donald Trump's chief source of income, Celebrity Apprentice.

It was announced yesterday that director Brett Ratner, figuring he wasn't going to get much closer to an Oscar, will produce next year's Academy Awards ceremony. Strange choice, Academy! But it's been made, so let's make the best of it and give Ratner some suggestions.

Sex-shamed congressman and budding amateur photographer Anthony Weiner is of course, following his resignation from the House of Representatives yesterday, considering his next move. Well, consider no further, sir! Entourage wants you.

Today, CNET social media blogger Caroline McCarthy announced she had been hired by Google to join its "Trends and Insights team." She's far from the first tech blogger to become a tech employee.

Democratic National Committee chair Tim Kaine announced today that he's running for a Virginia Senate seat. His DNC replacement will reportedly be Florida Rep. Debbie Wasserman Schultz, a rising star in the House Democratic leadership.

Quirky guy Michael Cera will be touring as the bassist for an indie rock supergroup

Jersey Shore cab-yeller DJ Paulie D will actually DJ an upcoming gig in New York. No one's ears are safe.

After much speculation, TMZ has "confirmed" that Jennifer Lopez will get $12 million to serve as an American Idol judge next season, replacing Ellen DeGeneres. And here I was hoping we were done with her already. [Image via Getty]

Lohan is apparently "in conversations" to host SNL on December 4, right after her probation ends. Her previous SNL appearances—in 2004 and 2006—were all attempts to prove she was doing just fine post-Mean Girls. So, good omens. [NYDN]

America's most famous unwed mother Bristol Palin has been confirmed as a castmember on the next season of Dancing with the Stars. Wouldn't it be awesome if rumored fellow castmate The Situation started dating her? Mommy Sarah would hate that!

Professional Newsweek example Sean Hayes, currently unconvincingly playing hetero in Broadway's Promises, Promises, will emcee for-profit theater's biggest night on June 13th. He's expected to do gay things, in a fairly to extremely gay fashion. Gay. Sean Hayes is gay.

Eliot Spitzer played anchor on MSNBC yesterday and he'll guest host again today. But the attention-hungry ex-governor hasn't locked in a full-time job—yet: "At this point there are no plans for anything more than these two days." [NYT]

Two months after Jersey voters booted him, ex-Gov. Jon Corzine landed two new jobs today.

We will need probably a zillion dollars or so to book her, but Sarah Palin is at least finally accepting speaking engagements! Just like Tom Friedman and other people who are very expensive and always wrong. First up: Hong Kong!