Be warned: You are going to be enraged when you hear this news, imbued with all the populist animalism you can muster and smashing crap all afternoon: Goldman Sachs is cutting some jobs in America and adding 1,000 people in Singapore. Are there even words to describe how much the average American will miss its favorite company?

You know who can't wait for Muammar Qaddafi to be gone? Ok, besides many Libyans. Bankers and other war profiteers: "The potential is huge," one banker told Time. Destruction breeds opportunity! These guys know exactly what they're doing.

Say you're in charge of a bloodthirsty dictator's stolen $1.3 billion sovereign-wealth fund. You make some risky investments with that money in the early days of the global financial meltdown, and end up losing 98% (!) of it. Then imagine you're Goldman Sachs dealing with Muammar Qaddafi's money!

God's favorite investment banker, Goldman Sachs chief Lloyd Blankfein, made a shitload of money last year! Originally we thought he made $13.2 million in 2010 but, according to Bloomberg News today, it turns out he nearly doubled his 2009 take with a $19 million compensation package:

Some Americans living in Japan are sort of worried right now, on account of all the deadly cancer-dust everywhere. Some of them are even leaving for a while, just to be on the safe side. Not Goldman Sachs employees, though.

Rajat K. Gupta, a former member of Goldman Sachs' board and managing director of McKinsey & Co., has been sued by the SEC for tipping the Galleon Group's Raj Rajaratnam to Warren Buffet's 2008 investment into Goldman Sachs. The tip made Rajaratnam $900,000 in a matter of days. It's nice being rich.

Goldman Sachs chief Lloyd Blankfein got a nice raise over last year's salary of $600,000 to $2 million, for doing "God's work." With bonuses and stock holdings and other scams, Blankfein raked in $13.2 million last year. [DealBook]

New York City has the biggest income disparity of any big city in America. In completely unrelated news: guess how much Goldman Sachs pays it partners? Just try to guess!

On Monday, news broke that Goldman Sachs had invested $500 million into Facebook, valuing Mark Zuckerberg's social network at $50 billion. Tonight, Jon Stewart laid bare the real—and hypocritical—reason for the investment: an avoidance of government-regulated transparency. Uh-oh.

Goldman Sachs and Russian investment firm Digital Sky Technologies have invested $500 million into Facebook in a deal that values the social network at $50 billion—more than eBay, Yahoo! and Time Warner. What's cool now, Justin Timberlake?

Brace yourself for some shocking news: The feds are preparing "vast" insider trading charges against a slew of investment bankers, analysts and hedge fund executives. Included are some loose-lipped Goldman Sachs bankers who leaked health-care merger information to benefit investors.

Average Goldman Sachs pay is down to a meager $370,000 per year. Poor babies! Etc.

Goldman Sachs' new mass-market ad campaign touts the firm's "job creation." Ballsy.

Despite being the best bank to work for in the whole wide world, Goldman Sachs has a few problems, according to a new lawsuit from three former female employees. Specifically: sexism, racism, and an undying love for strippers.

There's a new survey out ranking the best financial firms to work for and (surprise!) Goldman Sachs is number one. It's no contest, especially when Goldman offers fun, camaraderie, and big ass bonuses. The past is history at Goldman Sachs.

Poor Treasury secretary Tim Geithner. The lifetime government official has never worked for evil Goldman Sachs, but no one will believe him. Will he ever be able to shed this Goldman taint?

Compensation consultant Johnson Associates released a report saying Wall Street bonuses will likely rise this year, some as much as 15 percent, thanks to "evolving legislation" in Washington and the financial sector's recession-busting awesomeness. Here's to a job well done!

Fitness website Social Workout was able to get an operative inside the 54,000 square-foot gym deep within the bowels of Goldman Sachs mission control at 200 West Street in Manhattan. What did they find?

Financial reporter Charlie Gasparino broke some news, and to celebrate, Fox Business aired a segment entitled "Charlie Breaks and Brags," in which the scrappy blowhard reveals his source: an intern, whose name he wrote on a post-it note.

Beloved America-owner Goldman Sachs has "quietly revised" its stance on political activity, pledging "not to spend... on political advertising." What noble restraint, in this age of oligarchy. Or is it just that they've already bought out the store?