Goldman Sachs, the investment bank that you helped rescue back in the fall of 2008, is getting ready to hand out billions in bonuses. But it's a little concerned that you might be annoyed when you hear how much money the firm is shelling out:

It seems God's work comes with special privileges: "Unlike almost every other property owner in the city, Goldman Sachs will not be responsible for clearing the snow off some of the sidewalks around its new headquarters in Battery Park City." [Downtown Express]

Yesterday, JPMorgan's Jamie Dimon and Goldman Sachs' Lloyd Blankfein talked to Congress about why they're sitting on billions of profits and you're broke. CityFile cataloged the many emotions on display.

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Four titans of the financial world—including Goldman Sachs CEO Lloyd Blankfein—are testifying before the Financial Crisis Inquiry Commission today, and boy are they sophisticated in their exegeses about how they almost killed us all.

It looks like working at a newspaper really is one of the worst jobs in America. It was bad enough when you had to worry you could be laid off at any minute. Now you might get frostbite, too:

Goldman Sachs is hoping to redeem its damaged reputation by giving away bundles of cash to charity. What happens when one of the world's most profitable companies announces that the checkbook is open and the pen is in hand? Non-profit groups come calling, obviously.

"As it prepares to pay out big bonuses to employees, Goldman Sachs is considering expanding a program that would require executives and top managers to give a certain percentage of their earnings to charity," the Times reports today. According to the paper, the plan could require execs at the embattled bank to give 4 percent of their annual pay to charitable organizations, which, if true, would mean the bank's chief, Lloyd Blankfein, would have some serious catching up to do. [NYT]

Just in time for bonus season, Goldman Sachs has been hit with two shareholder lawsuits accusing the board of "bad faith actions and breaches of...loyalty" for approving billions in bonuses while driving the global economy into a ditch.

Workers at Goldman Sachs' buildings across New York and New Jersey are grumbling about a conspiracy. A conspiracy by the company to squeeze profit even from its own staff.

There was a protest outside Goldman Sachs this morning! The turnout wasn't great, but the handful of people who did turn out came armed with a special song. (It's to the tune of "Jingle Bells.") A video clip of the action is below.

The New York Times has identified the source of Goldman Sach's image troubles—it used to be a hip bank, one that really cared about the banking, you know? Now all they care about is money. Sellouts.

Goldman Sachs CEO Lloyd Blankfein, Citigroup chairman Dick Parsons, and Morgan Stanley CEO John Mack all skipped out on a scheduled dressing-down today from Barack Obama because "inclement weather" made it physically impossible for them to travel to Washington. Convenient!

Goldmas Sachs is bending over backwards to make sure you don't rise up and hoist the black flag next month, when it pays out more than $17 billion in taxpayer-financed bonuses—now its top leaders won't get any cash.

Goldman Sachs is giving in, believe it or not. The bank announced this morning that it plans to change up the way it compensates its top 30 execs this year, as the fury over outsized pay packages continues to grow. Goldman says it will now pay out the bonuses in the form of restricted stock, a move that will likely gratify Goldman's critics and also terrify high-end real estate brokers and Porsche salesmen in the Hamptons. [NYT]

Last week, Bloomberg News columnist Alice Schroeder suggested that panicky Goldman Sachs bankers were "loading up on firearms" in the event a "populist uprising" broke out. But that's not the case, you'll be relieved to hear:

Goldman Sachs has been taking lots of heat from shareholders, pundits, and politicians in recent weeks. Now even Goldman employees are furious with the firm. The bank recently spent $15 million on two murals for its new downtown office tower—one by Franz Ackermann and another by Julie Mehretu—but employees don't particularly like either of them, and it's "all anyone who walks in can talk about." [Business Insider]

Wall Street is feeling flush, clearly. Yesterday afternoon, a "resurgent" Bank of America announced that it plans to repay the $45 billion in government aid it received during the darkest days of the financial crisis last fall. And while you might expect that Goldman Sachs to be on the defensive given all the negative press that's come its way in recent weeks, it's behaving in quite the opposite fashion according to the Wall Street Journal, which reports the bank has been meeting with its investors recently to convince them why its employees are totally entitled to record bonuses this year. And then there's Deutsche Bank:

According to Bloomberg's Alice Schroeder, senior Goldman Sachs bankers have begun applying for permits to carry concealed handguns, lending credence to Vanity Fair's Bethany McLean's assessment that "There is an embattled feeling around" Goldman now. Tom Wolfe, call your office.

Do be careful before chastising any senior Goldman Sachs execs you happen to come across. Alice Schroeder of Bloomberg News reports beleaguered bankers at the firm have been loading up on firearms recently and "are now equipped to defend themselves if there is a populist uprising against the bank." En garde! [Bloomberg; photo: VF.com]