Goldman's Christmas celebration rules have a funny condition: they can't hang out in groups of twelve or more.

Goldman Sachs just can't catch a break. The embattled bank faced another round of construction trouble over the weekend when glass panes atop of Goldman's new 43-story HQ on Vesey Street—the one Mayor Bloomberg described as one of the safest buildings in the city—rained down on the street below. No one was injured in the incident, but the shattered glass did disrupt traffic for two hours, quite possibly adding several thousand motorists to the list of people who now despise Goldman Sachs. [NYP]

Goldman Sachs bankers are going to be out buying new Porsches and weekend homes in East Hampton just as soon as they collect their record year-end bonuses. But that's not what the rest of us are going to be getting this holiday season, at least according to Goldman Sachs. The firm's retail analysts say that most Americans—the ones that aren't getting seven-figure sums in a few weeks—should expect to see lots of crummy sweaters under the tree this Christmas. Thanks for rubbing it in, guys. [WSJ/Marketbeat]

Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt's charitable foundation handed out $6.4 million last year, or about three times what the CEOs of Goldman Sachs and JPMorgan, Lloyd Blankfein and Jamie Dimon, gave away last year put together. The beneficiaries of the Jolie-Pitt Foundation are below.

Watching the NYT get feisty telling anyone to stick it up their ass (and use words like "absurd"): fun, even if it's Lloyd Blankfein. They end their editorial with the Bureau of the Public Debt's address. Wishful thinking. [NYT]

It was once thing when politicians and members of the media were haranguing Goldman Sachs over its plans to pay out massive year-end bonuses. But now shareholders are getting into the act, too, a move that shows "how anger over its big-money culture is spilling into the ranks of investors who typically shy away from debates over Wall Street pay." Naturally, these giant mutual funds aren't speaking up on principle. (They'd like to benefit a bit more from the firm's record earnings.) And whether they really plan to do anything about it is up in the air. But there's an indication that all the PR troubles that the firm has faced this week—and this may go down as the worst week in the firm's history from a public relations standpoint—are about to vanish instantly.

Goldman Sachs employees received a voicemail announcement instructing them not to organize private Christmas parties for the firm's employees even at their own homes, a person familiar with the matter said.

Rolling Stone's Matt Taibbi famously called Goldman Sachs the "great vampire squid wrapped around the face of humanity, relentlessly jamming its blood funnel into anything that smells like money." Turns out Nazi cartoonists came up with that image first.

CEO Lloyd Blankfein has made yet another cursory PR gesture - a tiny fund for small businesses - designed to divert attention from $17bn in bonuses he's paying to the bankers who helped drive the economy, Zeppelin-like, into the ground.

Ten days ago, John Reed apologized for his role in creating Citigroup. Now Goldman Sachs chief Lloyd Blankfein is apologizing for anything Goldman did to precipitate the financial crisis: "We participated in things that were clearly wrong and have reason to regret," Blankfein said at a conference today. "We apologize." Then he stunned the crowd by announcing that Goldman would be turning over its fourth quarter profits to feed America's neediest, which would still leave the firm with about $16 billion to pay out year-end bonuses. Just kidding! He's not that sorry! [Bloomberg]

Last year's financial collapse was made possible by the greed and incompetence of credit rating agencies, who got paid to lie about the value of subprime debt. It turns out they were responsible for the Goldman Sachs bailout, too.

This spring, construction workers at Goldman Sachs' new headquarters in Battery Park City discovered a pregnant feral cat. A local couple rescued the kittens and placed them in homes. Goldman Sachs agreed to pay for their veterinary costs. They didn't.

There's good news, bad news, more bad news and more good news for Goldman Sachs today. Let's review, shall we?

Goldman Sachs is on track to turn in its most profitable year ever, and the bank's near collapse last fall—along with the financial system as a whole—is quickly becoming a distant memory for Goldman chief Lloyd Blankfein. So why is he giving less money to charity than he did before the downturn?

Goldman Sachs, Morgan Stanley, and JPMorgan Chase are all on track to pay record bonuses this year, as you've probably heard. "The firms—the three biggest banks to exit the Troubled Asset Relief Program—will hand out $29.7 billion in bonuses, according to analysts' estimates. That's up 60 percent from last year and more than the previous high of $26.8 billion in 2007." But as Goldman chief Lloyd Blankfein explained to the London Times over the weekend, they're doing "God's work," and you can't put a price on that, can you? [Bloomberg]

Did you hear that a handful of large Wall Street banks have been getting the swine flu vaccine to give to their "high-risk" employees, even though area hospitals have yet to receive it or are now running low on their supplies? A little public pressure seems to be paying off. Morgan Stanley says it will return its 1,000 doses to the city health department since some hospitals are still without the vaccine. But not every firm is following suit. Goldman Sachs is still "more important than you are," reports the Wall Street Journal. But you'd probably figured that out already. [WSJ]

Goldman Sachs and Citigroup have obtained a total of 1,400 doses of swine flu vaccine from the city of New York, while many pediatricians wait for doses. On the other hand, money is more important than babies.

Number of trading days in last two quarters on which Goldman Sachs lost money: 3

More great news for Goldman Sachs employees: "A whopping 36 times in the third quarter, the firm generated more than $100 million in revenue in a single day just from trading stocks, bonds and other instruments. That translates to 55% of the time, considering there were 65 trading days last quarter. The number of days Goldman traders lost money? Just one." [Crain's]

If Goldman Sachs wants to redeem its reputation, it would have to donate "at least $1 billion" to charity, says billionaire Pete Peterson. "'Only a donation that size would 'have much resonance in the public,' Peterson, the 83-year-old co-founder of Blackstone Group LP, the world's largest private-equity company, said in an interview in New York yesterday." Fair enough. But we're thinking Peterson might need to rename a concert hall or build a new hospital if he expects us to not immediately think of his fame-obsessed grandson every time we hear the name "Peterson." [Bloomberg]