Thanks to Bloomberg News, we now have a good idea how much of that $13 billion pass-through bailout Goldman Sachs got from AIG last year was pure taxpayer-financed gravy: $5.2 billion, courtesy Tim Geithner.

First Andrew Ross Sorkin pissed off Charlie Gasparino. Now it's his colleagues: Some anonymous New York Times staffers are angry at him, Keith Kelly reports, for failing to credit the newspaper's scoops in his new book, Too Big to Fail.

Wall Street CEOs make a fortune, as you're undoubtedly aware. Even the chief executives of banks that have been bailed-out by Washington or have gone bust usually end up doing nicely. But despite the riches and perks these men have accumulated and massive egos they've developed along the way, few of them would do all that well in a beauty contest. Because it's high time that Wall Street take advantage of the miracle of modern science—and because we care, dammit—we took the liberty of contacting Dr. Anthony Youn, a board-certified plastic surgeon who has made appearances on Dr. 90210 and the Rachael Ray Show, to ask him what procedures he'd suggest these titans of finance consider if they want to look their very best. Dr. Youn's answers and cost estimates—and our commentary—is below.

Lord Brian Griffiths of Fforestfach is a vice chairman at Goldman Sachs Intl., a life peer under England's nobility scheme, and Christian theorist of "biblically based wealth creation." Just the man to explain how Goldman's taxpayer-financed bonuses are perfectly moral.

In advance of Goldman Sachs' anticipated gargantuan charitable donation calculated to mask the stench of its taxpayer-financed cash bonanza, CityFile rummaged through the past recipients of Goldman's largesse. Guess what they found? Tony, preposterously expensive private prep schools, that's what!

Goldman Sachs announced plans last week to donate $200 million to charity, a move designed to quell criticism over the firm's massive profits (and the massive bonuses that will soon handed out to the bank's employees). The donation isn't a gigantic sum for the investment bank—Goldman makes $200 million every three days or so—but it's a big step up from last year when the largest of the Goldman-affiliated foundations gave out about $12 million. So which non-profit groups stand to benefit the most from the firm's increased largesse? The institutions that Goldman wrote checks to last year runs about 25 pages. (You're welcome to go through it yourself; it's embedded below.) We focused on the dozens of elite private schools and fancy boarding schools that made the cut, a list you can review after the jump. But before you go out and start piecing together a conspiracy theory, we'll point out that the school that Goldman CEO Lloyd Blankfein's two sons (and his wife) attended wasn't anywhere close to the top. (Ethical Culture/Fieldston received a measly $10,000.) And as for Dalton, which is pictured above, it didn't get a dime.

Andrew Ross Sorkin's Too Big To Fail describes, in intimate detail, the days leading up to the collapse of the biggest financial institutions in America. Did the men in that room pull us from the brink or push us over?

It looks like Goldman Sachs is preventing its employees from reading Gawker. It's a precaution any workplace that values productivity might consider, especially an employer who's been targeted by a Gawker investigation.

It's Thursday, so Goldman Sachs raked in billions with taxpayer help while you're still unemployed. The bank announced $3.1 billion in third-quarter profits today, and set aside $5.3 billion for bonuses. Help us find out how they spend it.

Goldman Sachs announced third-quarter earnings today and, as expected, Lloyd Blankfein has good reason to smile. The firm raked in $3.1 billion in profits, which was three times what the bank made during the same period in 2008. And Goldman bonuses will set a new record when they're doled out in a few months: A whopping $5.25 billion was set aside this quarter alone to pay for them. (As several people predicted, the firm also announced it was putting a big chuck of money—$200 million—into its foundation this quarter in what appears to be an attempt to counter negative press over the big bonuses.) But travel a few miles north from Goldman HQ to the offices of Citigroup CEO Vikram Pandit and the mood isn't as cheery.

JPMorgan CEO Jamie Dimon shared some delightful news this morning. As expected, the bank posted super-solid earnings for the third quarter, generating $3.6 billion in profit based on $26.6 billion in revenue, results that were considerably higher than what Wall Street analysts were expecting. The House of Dimon also revealed that it's set aside $8.79 billion for compensation and benefits for the first nine months of 2009, just about enough to pay out $353,834 to each JPMorgan Chase employee. But don't think that's a good thing. It isn't! Because Goldman Sachs set aside $386,429 per employee for the first half of the year, and will likely put JPMorgan to shame when it reports earnings tomorrow. If you were thinking this world was unjust because millions of Americans don't have decent health insurance and a billion children around the world live below the poverty line, do yourself a favor and head over to JPMorgan HQ on Park Avenue later this afternoon and observe the people streaming out of the building. That, friends, is the true face of misery. [WSJ, Bloomberg]

Executives at Goldman-Sachs aren't known for their largess. But now, after the company and its powerful ties to DC have been dragged through the mud, officials may throw coin charity way. Sound good? Yes and no and maybe.

Despite the drama of the past few months (and Matt Taibbi's best efforts), Goldman Sachs' reputation doesn't appear to have been damaged much—at least as far as job seekers are concerned. According to Vault.com—and for the 11th year in a row—Goldman was named the most prestigious banking firm to work for. [Crain's]

What should you do if you're downtown in the financial district and there's a massive crisis of some sort? Seek shelter at Goldman Sachs' new $2.4 billion, 43-story building on Vesey Street! It's the "the safest place you could possibly be" in the event of an attack, according to Michael Bloomberg. [NYP via Dealbreaker]

Goldman Sachs can't catch a break. Yesterday, Page Six reported that one of the firm's partners, Richard Kimball, upset his neighbors over the summer by throwing rowdy parties at his Southampton house, at least one of which featured the presence of topless women. Today, the paper directs our attention to this story in the British press about a Goldman exec who reportedly bribed a woman to leave her elderly husband and run off with him.

Goldman Sachs partners were supposed to be keeping low profiles these days, as per instructions from the bank's CEO, Lloyd Blankfein. And Lord knows anyone related to NYC Prep's PC Peterson—even by marriage—would be well advised to avoid the limelight for a spell. But that didn't stop Richard Kimball Jr., a Goldman partner and the ex-husband of Manny author Holly Peterson, from hosting a series of "rowdy" parties in Southampton over the summer, at least one of which featuring topless women:

Deal! Warner Chilcott Ltd. will reportedly buy Procter & Gamble's prescription-drug wing for $3.1 billion.

Goldman Sachs has a image problem, as you may have noticed. The firm has been battered by bad press in recent weeks as critics have accused Goldman of having a hand in everything from the destruction of the cookie industry to the spread of nuclear materials to rogue nation-states. (Okay, the firm hasn't been accused of that last one just yet, but it's just a matter of time.) Now, as we head into fall and get closer and closer to bonus season, Goldman chief Lloyd Blankfein is getting worried that it's about to get worse. But what to do?

Goldman Sachs is taking the whole "bloodsucking squidmonster" thing pretty seriously. CEO Lloyd Blankfein is losing sleep over how to pay out $11 billion in taxpayer financed bonuses without catching hell from anti-Semites like everybody. Heavy weighs the crown.

Last week, the Post reported that the wife of retired Goldman Sachs honcho Ray Iwanowski had smashed her BMW into a tree and was later arrested for DWI. On Wednesday, the owner of a Bentley Arnage watched as his car mysteriously rolled into Lake Montauk and plunged to the bottom. Could there a trend here? Who knows, but since these things usually come in threes, you may want to be a little extra cautious if you're cruising around the East End in a luxury car today. [EHPress]