Found at the Gossip Girl studios: a script for what appears to be the fifth episode of the teen soap's highly-anticipated second season. And what do the selected pages reveal? Mostly the tortured (and torturous) relationship between sad young literary man Brooklyn Dan and his crusty old mentor, Noah Shapiro. Amusingly, the Shapiro character is introduced by Jay McInerney, in a cameo role, who was once a sad young New York literary fellow himself. His 1984 novel Bright Lights, Big City was a smash hit about "you" (the novel was written entirely in the second person) young ambitious writerly types in the big bad city. It's all come full circle! Enjoy some scans of the script after the jump.

• George Clooney's ex-girlfriend Sarah Larson may have cheated on the actor when she had a "weekend fling" with a "media mogul," although it appears she's paying for her crime since her new boyfriend is a lowly nightlife promoter named Joey Vanas. [P6]

The CW has released a video of the first few scenes of Gossip Girl's 2nd season premiere. The show, about bitchy, scheming Manhattan rich kids and three impoverished Brooklynites, returns next Monday (squee) and looks to begin with sex and making out and boobs! and more making out, and, heh heh, Jay McInerney. Yes the sadsack author makes a cameo as Dan Humphrey's (the chief Brooklyn poor) summertime mentor. He can be seen in this clip reading something while Dan makes-out cute with some brunette chippy. So, brace yourselves. Clip is after the jump.

Everyone's always been miserable, except when they're watching rich people. As if previously operating under the crazy idea that people watch television to see their own lives reflected back at them, television writers today are all a-tizzy about the amount of shows about rich people, scratching their heads and wondering why, in this time of foreclosures and defaulted mortgages and soaring gas prices, anyone would want to watch something about people with overabundances of money. Their theory is that shows like Gossip Girl, Dirty Sexy Money, Lipstick Jungle, and the upcoming CW series 90210 and Privileged all create wish-fulfillment in mostly hopeless times. And, um yeah!, they're right!

• NBC says 211 million Americans tuned in to the Beijing Olympics, making it the most widely-viewed Games in television history. And merchandise sales were way up, too. [TV Decoder, TV Week]

So, um, the first episode of Gossip Girl (9 muthafuckin' days y'all) FEATURES TINSLEY MORTIMER. We knew the brain-addled, handbag-designing socialite was cameoing, but we didn't know it would be the first episode. "...Dan has spent the summer assisting a famous author, but decides to head to the Hamptons to see how things stand with Serena after a summer spent apart. While interning for Eleanor Waldorf's company, Jenny sneaks an invite to a much-coveted Hamptons' White Party at which Eric introduces her to socialite Tinsley Mortimer." [TeamSugar] Tinsley talks about her experiences on the show after the jump. "Well it was a happy time because I had just found the old shoe I thought I lost and Guadalupe was mad at me because she said "Meez Tinsley ju are never pooting things a-way when I am asking you!" and so I ran out of the house and down the street and into the park and I climbed a hill and poked at the dirt with sticks for a while and looked for bugs. I didn't find any bugs because they were probably mad at me too so I left the park and ate some pizzapie and it got all on my shirt so I cried a little bit and then I went to see the Little Mermaid in Broadway and it looked like my feelings! So that made me feel better and I went home and curled up outside Guadalupe's door and in the morning she wasn't mad anymore and she made me cereal and she was humming her nice little back-home song and it was sunny and there were birds so I felt better and then the TV called and asked me to be on it so I said 'Yes I will Go!' and so I went to the beach house and they moved me in front of a movie camera and I said a few things and then it was over. Oh but I forgot the best part, when I got to the beach house I was rooting around in the old lobster traps that are under the porch and I found my shoe in one of them! Guadalupe was very happy and patted my head and said 'I will geev it a wash.' And then she made me a lemonade and sent me out to the porch to watch the seaside and I did and I drank the lemonade and looked at the ocean and I thought of the Little Mermaid and how it was sad that she didn't like where she lived or the people she lived with because I do, very much, every day."

Good morning friends! I am still in bed (don't get sexy thoughts-at the moment I look like Joe Pesci's mom if she'd just fallen down the stairs) and am exhausted from my astute late night political coverage. Anyway this is all to say that I'm tired and mayyyyyyybe a bit hungover, so let's start off with a softball. You know Gossip Girl? Sure you do! You know one of its stars, the catfish looking Ed Westwick? Of course. Well other than being a sort of walking parody of a brooding English actor, he writes poetry!

Baloney McCheesestick seized a golden opportunity on Thursday afternoon to get busy with Gossip Girl star Blake Lively. Baloney's parents knew that one of their child's greatest desires was to hump the leg of one of the actresses from the popular CW series. Baloney's mother said, "Whenever we watch the show, Baloney just goes to town on his little sleep pillow." Baloney's father felt that his son's habit had become disturbing, but is optimistic that Baloney's session with Blake Lively's right boot will cure his problem. Baloney's father said, "He's been there, he's done it and, hopefully, it's over. We can only hope that he doesn't get into the new 90210."

I was wandering the streets of Carroll Gardens (Brooklyn Heights' free-spirited sister) during a Bastille Day celebration last month, and there were people, tons of people!, wearing straw hats and frothy summer dresses and being languid and too cool for anything other than drinking in the summertime. And there I was, hungover as hell, tromping over from my-fine, I'll admit it-South Slope apartment, looking like a hobo wearing a pickle barrel. So it's heartening to hear, via our tips line, that some of those Smith Street whipsters (wealthy hipsters) are old and upset about... Gossip Girl!

Transforming himself from inexperienced young Brit to decadent scion of privilege Chuck Bass clearly involves some impressive acting skills on the part of Ed Westwick, but as The Transom discovers, only by seeing the process up-close can you appreciate quite how much elaborate facial contortion is involved: "Mr. Westwick skillfully relaxes his eyelids... tilts his head sort of down and to the side, and proceeds to flex his nostrils as if mid-yawn and, voila!" Somewhere, Stanislavski is looking on and smiling. [Observer]

When we first saw the photos of Gossip Girl stars Chace Crawford and Ed Westwick lounging on the grass between takes-as louche and laissez-faire as two successful young men in the primes of their lives can be-something about the photos struck as familiar. But we weren't quite sure what it was until today, when a helpful tipster pointed us in the right direction. It's straight out of Brideshead: Revisited! Specifically a scene from the Jeremy Irons miniseries based on the Evelyn Waugh novel about class and religion and forbidden desire. Chace is the timid but fascinated Charles Ryder, Ed is the aristocratic seen-it-all-except-it Sebastian Flyte. Hopefully no Julia or Lady Marchmain will come between them this time. [Brideshead photo from tipster, other via Bauer-Griffin]

That slight crisp in the air this morning signals to us that autumn is fast approaching, with its hayrides and pumpkin picking and legion of miserable children tromping off to their imagined doom. But also it means television, sweet and glorious non-off-season TV like Gossip Girl and, um... other... shows. Many other shows! So many, in fact, that you can't-even with the aid of DVR techmologies-be expected to watch them all. But in this increasingly (for the past few hundred years) pop-driven culture, it's important that you are least able to talk about the zeitgeistiest shows out there, so after the jump we'll give you a few key talking points for some of the most buzzed about series soon to be (or, in a few cases, that already are) flickering on your idiot box. SUNDAY

Cecily von Ziegesar claims she's "really not a big drinker..." but then says: "If I drink too much, I end up throwing up in a dumpster somewhere, which I've done many times. I think I've thrown up everywhere in this city." Hmm, sounds like her first step is admitting she has a problem! Serena did, and totally turned her life around. [NYP]

Gossip Girl, our bitchiest teen soap about Manhattan rich kids glowing dimly, is currently filming at Columbia University (someone run up there and take pictures!) Which makes sense, cause, you know, it's New Yorky and the show loves to make references to all of the city's hotspots (Veselka! Butter! DUMBOsburg!) But, gasp, the scenes they're filming take place at Yale. How dare they confuse one set of rich kids with inflated senses of intellect and caste-like status with another? Plus the architecture is totes different.

The latest trendsetter in fancy lady handbags? Gossip Girl actress Chace Crawford, of course! [Popwrap]

All right, fine. Everyone and their mother went to the Gossip Girl premiere party in the Hamptons and made fun videos and gurgled at Chace Crawford and I didn't get invited. Josh Schwartz, if you're reading this... you've broken my heart.

["Gossip Girl" (13 days!) actor Ed Westwick filming on set yesterday; image via Splash] Steverino_Begins' new line beats the original, Ed Westwick Goofs the Floof.

Don't worry. Those gangly things who smell weird and never talk to you that live in your house are actually reading books (not just blogs and texts and IMs!) Teenagers, as we know, do nothing but think about Gossip Girl all day long (if I, at 25, am an example of your typical teenager), whether it be the teen soap on the CW or the books. Yes, books! There have been 5.6 million copies of the 12-installment series sold to our braced-teeth gnashing youth, only 30,000 of which featured the television show's cast on the cover. They don't care if it's just a book! What little grownups. But, um, they're not little old people:

Fans of Gossip Girl will be happy to know that the Upper Brookville estate where the cast filmed two upcoming episodes (including scenes from the "white party" episode with Tinsley Mortimer) is currently on the market. That means that for the low price of $12.9 million, a piece of Gossip Girl history can be yours. And while it might be cheaper to bid on an autographed poster on eBay, that's not going to come with five acres, salt water swimming pool, and 65-foot ballroom, is it? Below: more photos of the house for all you rabid fans of the show.

It was business as usual on the Brooklyn set of the popular CW series Gossip Girl as stars Leighton Meester and Blake Lively engaged in yet another catfight to boost cast and crew morale after a long and tiresome day of production. Meester and Lively feel like the occasional bout of hair-pulling and pillow fighting sets a good example for the other cast members and are reportedly encouraging their co-stars Taylor Momsen and Michelle Trachtenberg to follow suit. Lively said, "The grips and gaffers seem to get a real kick out of it which helps. The makeup people, not so much, but it really helps you get into the scene. Like a shot of adrenaline into the heart."