Jon, Kate, and the Cabal of 8 hit the streets of New York and their crew's already beefing with people. Also, Robert Pattinson's a shitty tipper, 50 Cent's a shitty real estate buyer, Mischa Barton's sad and crazy. Happy Sunday!
Where Tom Cruise and Beyonce meet in the middle. Where Jennifer Anniston terrifies West Villagers with her half-speed biological clock. Where Jon Gosselin's girlfriend terrifies virginal high school boys. Where Andy's Dick's Little One speaks. Your Saturday Late-Edition Gossip Roundup:
Jennifer Aniston and Gerard Butler are probably boning, Mischa Barton has a serious "medical issue," Jon Gosselin's new lady is a walking white-trash stereotype, The Hoff parties with Lady Gaga, Madonna has "bingo wings" and Robert Redford gets married.
Kim Cattrall breaks up with her man, Will and Jada Smith have lots of sex, Chace Crawford is moving out of Ed Westwick's place to get his own apartment downtown and Megan Fox is shopping for a house.
Tony Romo dumped Jessica Simpson, Quentin Tarantino talks retirement, Larry King's wife eyes a Broadway role, Renee Zellweger can't get laid, Megan Fox has to get drunk to watch her movies and Lindsay Lohan's hair is falling out.
Eva Longoria is delightfully kinky, Leo DiCaprio is cruising for new tail, Lily Allen proclaims her desire to bone a rocker, Victoria Beckham is taking acting classes, Emma Watson and Robert Pattinson are "just friends," and Demi hits the beach.
Brad and Angelina want to move to the Upper West Side, I'd prefer they didn't. Shirley Jones wants to get naked; same. Piven's a perv, Shatner's sad, Paul McCartney sucks, Stevie Wonder does blow! Here's your Sunday Morning Gossip Roundup:
Harry Potter and Gossip Girl finally meet in the middle, Jon Gosselin wants to capitalize on the worst fashion trend in the History of the Universe, Robert Pattinson's good in bed, Jim Carry's a scary grandparent, and celebrity DUI time!
Michael Jackson's brain was not with his body in the golden coffin, Justin Timberlake wants to write a book about golf, Jason Bateman talks addiction, Russell Brand breaks his celibacy vow and Jason Lee fights at Max Fish.
Lilo stole the formula for her spray-tan product and passed on a starring role in The Hangover, Britney Spears visits the Eiffel Tower, Mischa Barton's wisdom teeth are making her bloated and Megan Fox steps out in an Armani dress.
Twilight's Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart are pregnant, Angelina Jolie and David Beckham are starring in an Armani ad together, Britney's sporting a new "spare tire," Michael Bay made Megan Fox wash his Ferrari and Joyce DeWitt got a DUI.
Robert Pattinson thinks New York women are crazy, Lady Gaga gets naked in London club, Michael Bay puts Megan Fox in the corner, Josh Duhamel is an ass man, Russell Crowe throws another public hissy-fit and Rihanna's boob falls out.
Justin Timberlake, Jessica Biel, and Gary Coleman are all having relationship issues. Megan Fox: macking on Zac Efron and smack-talking Michael Bay. Liza's mob problems, Twilight's freak fanbase, and celebrity cocaine usage! Presenting your pre-Holiday Friday Gossip Roundup:
Bradley Cooper and Renee Zellweger are so doing it, Kevin Jonas is engaged, Hayden Panetierre is totally naked in her new movie, Tinsley Mortimer is dating a German aristocrat and Mischa Barton gets kicked out of a London nightclub's bathroom.
Anna Kournikova viciously brawls with another woman in a Vegas club, Leighton Meester sings and acts in a video for Cobra Starship, Michael Jackson looked frail on stage at his concert rehearsals and Chris Brown gets shut down by Jay-Z.
Megan Fox and Shia LaBeouf might be boning, Whitney Port has a new fake boyfriend, Britney Spears dyed her hair and is sporting a ring, Bradley Cooper put Jennifer Aniston in the friend zone and Leo DiCaprio's shoes got stolen.
