Amy Winehouse is not in The Priory but in Causeway Retreat for rehab, which supposedly costs $20K a week. (350 acres of rugged natural drug-free beauty, on a private island only an hour from London!) [NYP]
Rich ladies are miffed that social-lites Olivia Palermo and Tinsley Mortimer, who were supposed to host that Darfur benefit Josh and Nikola dragged themselves to, were no-shows. "We think the only people who truly suffered from their selfish no-shows are the poor citizens of war-torn Darfur," one organizer hissed to Page Six. Seriously, talk about adding insult to injury. [Page Six]
Kevin Federline has subpoena'd a bunch of Britney Spears' ex-nannies, and they don't have a lot of good things to say about her parenting skills. 'Drunk With The Babies' may be our favorite Us cover line of all time. [Us Weekly]
Page Six alleges that ex-con heiress Paris Hilton's new cleaned-up image is no more than a charade, a sham, the work of her crisis-management team. Oh, say it ain't so! [Page Six]
Alli Sims, Britney Spears' cousin-assistant, got served with papers by Kevin Federline's lawyer for the upcoming custody craziness. How could he want to take Brit-Brit's babies away? She is doing such a good job. [Us]
Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen report that they share a psychic bond. Also, Ashley told Marie Claire that they "both carry the weight of each other." Snarf. [Page Six]
Among the shocking revelations from the lips of tragic former child star Lindsay Lohan's ex-bodyguard: "Dina often 'let her do whatever she wanted, just to keep her happy and working . . . [At her 16th birthday party] Lindsay drank whatever she wanted - I saw her drinking beer and mixed drinks with my own eyes [without Dina's intervention].'" Whoever would have guessed that such a thing was possible. [Page Six]
Gwen Stefani is still breastfeeding Kingston, and apparently Page Six finds this shocking. Um? He's only one? Now we know what's wrong with the Page Sixers: weaned too soon! [Page Six]
Lindsay Lohan isn't going to be the new face of Louis Vuitton. Stealing their clothes at her Elle shoot might have had something to do with it. [Page Six]
Britney Spears and Kevin Federline's big marriage mistake is finally fixed, but Kevin still has the option to fight for full custody, which he'll probs get. Remember when we used to say things like "Poor Britney?" Yeah, that ship has sunk. [Us]
Finally, the glorious offspring of Naomi Watts and greatest, most serious actor of our time Liev Schreiber is known to us: Alexander Pete Schreiber, 22.5 inches, 8 lbs 4 oz. Which is big. Because Naomi was pregs for like seriously 4 years. [Us]
"According to a frighteningly observant mommy source, [Michelle] Williams was looking very late-60's Mia Farrow with her blond pixie haircut, wearing a striped lavender-and-black baby doll knit jumper and dark Ray-Ban sunglasses, and pushing a pink Maclaren stroller that contained her 21-month-old daughter, Matilda (clad in a simple red cotton dress, diaper and purple Crocs)." What, the observant mommy didn't get a peek at her bra strap to determine the color of her undies? [NYO]
Lindsay Lohan had coke on her in her DUI arrest this morning; she was arrested after cops got reports of her white Denali chasing another car. (Two other people were in her car, by the way,and they were released.) [TMZ, TMZ] [Photo: X17]
