• Rimmel cosmetics is considering dropping Kate Moss like a bad habit (heh) so that supplier, Walgreens, can maintain its classy, Lee Press-On Nails-supplying image. [Page Six]

• Funny, we never thought Jennifer Aniston was into the aging, chubbing frat guy type, but, hey, Vince Vaughn was just there, you know? [R&M]
• Mos Def isn't just a slam poet; he's apparently a bigamist. Funny; we had no idea he was Mormon. [Page Six]
• Wilmer Valderrama dissed Ashley Olsen for turning him down on a date. Typing that sentence just made our brains explode. [Lowdown]
• Two tennis stars might be dating, which would bring the combined education level up to about a sophomore in high school. [Page Six]

· Weddings: Heidi Klum and Seal, Renee Zellweger and some Jimmy Buffett impersonator [Rush & Molloy]
· Tantrums: Comedy Central's Lindbergh baby, Dave Chapelle, unhappy dressing as wolfman (insert Robin Williams joke here) [Lowdown]
· Gags: New School University trustees tell Bob Kerrey to keep his mouth shut. Word of advice: Don't fuck with this guy; he will totally kill you in your sleep. [Page Six]
· Off the Rack: Tori Spelling drops her jewelry in her d colletage and it makes news. You'd think she had a show coming out or something. [Ibid.]

·Everyone in the universe is reporting that Ben Affleck and Jennifer Garner are expecting a baby in November. No word on whether Matt Damon made the baby all by himself and is letting Bennifer take credit. [NYP]
·Cynthia Rowley says Demi Moore told her that she gets Punk'd every time she has sex with one-minute-manager Ashton Kutcher. [Lowdown]
·Fired "Apprentice" cast member Bren Olswanger claims he's glad Trump axed him "because $250,000 isn't enough to live on in New York."
[ELK] [sixth item]
·Ronald Reagan and Andy Warhol were, like, totally butt buddies or something. [Page Six]

·Ron Perelman refused to speak to Ellen Barkin after catching her love scene with Laurence Fishburne in Bad Company, made 11 years before meeting his wife. He does not, however, have any problems with the fact that she married him for his money. [Lowdown]

·Continuing his three part series on Rebecca Romijn s Four Seasons lunch, where he was apparently hiding in the center piece amongst the azaleas and perennials, Lloyd Cherry Grove reveals yet another tidbit from Romijn s conversation with Oprah interior decorator, Nate Berkus: Boyfriend Jerry O Connell gets acupuncture on his precious cockparts. [Lowdown]

· When life gives you lemonade, throw that shit on other people. Foxy Brown did during a recent recording session. [R&M]
· Mel Brooks, the producer of The Producers, doesn t like the way the director is directing his movie. This is the part where we pretend to care: Aaaand ACTION! [Page Six]
· Kim Cattrall and David Schwimmer? Anyone else just throw up in their mouth a little? [Lowdown]
· Nick Lachey and Jessica Simpson dropped $1 million a 1,200-square foot condo at the Palms Casino Resort in Las Vegas. Has views of the Vegas strip and a big closet where Joe Simpson can watch his daughter undress. [Page Six]
· Martha Stewart Living's first quarter numbers are down. See, we told her she should have agreed to do "MTV Cribs: Martha s Cell" to give her some street cred. [NYDN]
—NH

·Jewelry heir, Evan Yurman, finds that farting isn t the only way to clear a room. After threatening party guests with ass-kickings and gunfire, John Mayer, Erin Wasson, and Jaime Johnson flee to Bungalow. [Page Six]
·Elton John finally comes out: Singer will marry partner David Furnish next Christmas. [NYDN]
·Upon hearing the news that Madame Tussaud's is unveiling a wax dummy of Paris Hilton, Liz Smith issues the following pimp slap: I'm told it is quite realistic. You won't be able to tell the difference. Oooh, snap![Liz Smith]
·Rebecca Romijn to Jerry O'Connell: "You can't touch this unless you first put on MC Hammer pants." [Lowdown]
·Donald Sutherland has latent suicidal tendencies. Funny, we felt the same way after that ass-shot of his in Animal House. [R&M]
—NH

·Ever since Paula Zahn s husband removed Pale Male from their window ledge, the hawk's been circling the Time Warner Center where Zahn has an office. Stalking Paula or just still waiting for a table at Per Se? [Lowdown]
·Tennis star Andy Roddick is sad because no one wants Andy s rod-dick. [Page Six]
·After years of ripping underlings a new one, publishing pitbull Judith Regan is now getting the ripped from the headlines treatment from Law & Order. [R&M]
·Apparently, the Gay Mafia is now after Microsoft honch Bill Gates. Consider our day made. [Page Six]
—NH

·Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie sittin in a tree, H-U-M-P-I-N-G
[Page Six]
·Martha Stewart dons her best electronic cankle bracelet, attends gala, pisses off Feds. [NYP]
·Maggie Gyllenhaal: The new Jane Fonda? [NYDN]
·Tina Brown becomes US citizen. Husband Harry Evans no longer playing Andie MacDowell to her Gerard Depardieu. [Page Six]
·Contemporary fiction writers Amy Tam, Maureen Gordon, etc. petition Oprah to endorse their books. Also ask her to leave some of that Origins Ginger Body Souffle under their chairs. [NYDN]
·Nicole Kidman and Naomi Watts: Soooo not friends anymore. [EL-K]
·New Pope Delivers State of the Communion Address: Orders priests distribute Jesus Juice and low-carb Bodies of Christ. (Well, no, but wouldn t that be kickass, girls?!) [NYT]
—NH

· Co-ops may be satanic, but they're not so hellish as to approve Mariah Carey or, even worse, allow too many Jews in their buildings. [Page Six]
· Webster Hall curator Baird Jones confesses his inner douchebag to Ted Turner, by asking when the media mogyl will release Gettysburg, which came out ten years ago. [Gatecrasher (4th item)]
· Graydon Carter pulls punches for a story on Spectator publisher Kimberly Quinn, whose cuckolded husband happens to be Cond&eactue; brethern at UK Vogue. [R&M (3rd item)]
· Alicia Silverstone: hates fur, wears J. Mendel, lacks intelligence. [ELK]
· Lloyd Grove asserts the existence of Steven Segal, whether you believe him or not. [Lowdown]

· Jessica Simpson s himbo Nick Lachey hits on resident NYDN gossip hottie, Jo Piazza and forces his digits upon her and her best friend. D'oh! [R&M]

· More speculation on which Desperate Housewife is coming out on the cover of The Advocate. In the immortal, grating words of Jan Brady, "Marcia! Marcia! Marcia!"[Google News; Gatecrasher]

· There goes the gayborhood! A Vogue fashion dept. assistant is responsible for breaking up Jack McCollough and Lazaro Hernandez, the couple behind Proenza and Schouler. Anna Wintour s houseboy (who was dating a male model at the time) started an affair with McCollough, inspiring Hernandez to play wife swap and hook up with the model. Girls will be girls! [Page Six]

Gossip for the Centrum Silver set. This week we flirt with the darkside by actually reading the elderstateswomen of gossip.
· Liz Smith: Head Hunter
The highest paid woman in journalism gives a plug to Rachel Leifer, who wrote last week s Times article about female boxers (Hey, someone should make a movie about that!) and is apparently ripe for a career. She also happens to be the step-grandbaby of Ms. Smith s friend, Tita Cahn. Seems to me Rachel would be a perfect pick for Maer Roshan's new Radar magazine, bowing any minute. Columbia J-School minions should send resumes to Liz Smith at the NY Post, 1211 Avenue of the Americas. [Liz Smith]
· Cindy Adams: Former Gang Member
In an overextended rant on the AT&T take-over, Cindy Adams bemoans the recent corporate merger mania saying: Modernization is breaking up that old gang of mine.
Bloods or crips, Cind? [Cindy Adams]

· A coincidence that both Soho House and Lotus are throwing "Roaring '20's"-themed New Year's Eve parties tonight? Soho House manager Mark Somen thinks not. "Are you copying my ideas!!??" he wrote in an email to Lotus owner David Rabin, who we imagine responded: "LOL! ROFL! TTYL!" [Page Six]
· Paris Hilton is apparently not welcome in Gstaad, Switzerland. As the always thoughtful and not at all culturally insensitive Taki Theodoracopulous put it, "Poor Phuket got a tsunami, and we got Paris Hilton." Maybe the same judge who ripped away Anna Nicole Smith's inheritance could do the same with Paris's and give it to the tsunami relief effort. [Page Six]
· Cindy Margolis is having twins. Coors Light endorsement contracts are pending. [Page Six]
· Martha Stewart loses prison holiday decorating contest with only $25 worth of materials. Seriously, you can't love Jesus for less than $1500 a creche. [Daily Dish]

· Donald Trump plans to launch a line of hair care products for men over 40. Just as we generally avoid taking music recommendations from deaf people, we think we're going to pass on buying leave-in conditioner from Donald Trump. [Page Six]
· In the Denial Is Not Just A Parasitic-Diseased River In Egypt Department, Vanessa Williams claims that she is not getting a divorce from ex-L.A. Laker Rick Fox...but that's not what Fox's publicist says. Those bi-coastal marriages never work out. [NYDN Gatecrasher]
· Either Page Sixers got a copy of "100 Years of Solitude" for Christmas and are hoping to inject a bit of magical realism into the washed out pages of the New York Post or someone hot-boxed their offices. Something has to explain this item. [Page Six]

Liza Minelli woke-up on the wrong side of the bed yesterday, promptly fell out, and needed four men and god knows how many huskies to transport her to the hospital. She "appeared intoxicated." [NYDN]

New York Post's Elisa Lipsky-Karasz serves up a double-dose of Lindsay Lohan and Paris Hilton to fix your weekend-long craving.

Hey, remember former "it" thing Fabian Basabe? Surely you've blocked him from your memory, but he's still around and still completely disconnected from reality. In a recent interview, Fabian bemoans the sheer suffering that is being an unemployed party boy, and comments on dealing with nasty gossips: