These two top-tier funny men are feuding because they both want the same guy. Russian mobsters are making Fashion Week dangerous, and this actress has a husband and a lover who enjoy their own company as well as hers. These Hollywood relationships are so complicated!

This celeb monster-in-law is feeding rumors about her son's famous wife in hopes of breaking up the marriage. A different actress isn't having sex with her famous husband. It probably has nothing to do with either of their mothers.

This former American Idol hates his complexion. This supposedly sober famous father was drinking again, and a race car driver and a pro wrestler are having an affair. Wow, that last one is really going to rock a certain segment of the population.

This acting duo is having a hard time finding drugs on their recent press tour. This rock star is a germaphobe, and this actress thought she met the real Michael Jackson when it was just an impersonator. What, is she on drugs?

These famous siblings keep it in the family by having sex with the same woman. This actor gets a boner every time he hugs a female costar, and then there's something about a newscaster coming out of the closet. It looks like someone might be sharing his open secret.

This music man missed the birth of his baby because he was getting naughty with a nurse. This director has a feud within the cast and this couple is really serving as beards for each other. What, there's no staff involved?

She's always hyping her diet program, but it's really the surgery that got this leading lady to shed the pounds. This couple is about to break up and this actress is upset she's getting asked to play moms. Maybe it's time for a different sort of surgery.

Rather than threatening everyone's careers with a child out of wedlock, this actress gave up her baby to the man she had an affair with and his wife. This Real Housewife is desperate to get back on TV and this tween star wants to fix her boobs. Who's she going to find to raise them?

This woman has been paid by more than one man to make the world think they like women. This actress is trying to steal one of her rival's men. And this actor wants to sleep with an A-list actress. Is this a beard situation too?

This Oscar winner had a public meltdown because he couldn't remember where his phone was. This A-list actress put a social fatwa out on her rival's head. And this actress had a secret baby in her past. Yes, she does remember where she left it.

This funny man went berserk on set after a three-day drug binge. This star is getting a divorce. And this famous couple is breaking up over failed fertility treatments. Even that type of drug binge is dangerous.

You hear them all the time, you read them in blind items, and your friend at the bar knows someone who knows someone who definitely used to sleep with a guy who used to sleep with Bradley Cooper. Yes, we're talking about celebrity gay rumors. But when do you think they're actually true?

Some blind items are so obvious that if you don't know the answer you need to pick up a copy of People stat. I'm not saying I know the answer to this item about a couple about to break up, but you should read it while listening to Meat Is Murder.

These women are getting kicked off of their respective shows. This actress wants to raise her baby outside of Hollywood. And this actor might leave his wife for the daughter of his former mistress. At least he'll still have a job.

This leading lady got her face stretched so tight it's unbelievable. This star bought a new TV with the money he was going to give to charity, and this actress is hitting on married men. That will keep her young until it's time for a face lift.

This A-List stud showers so rarely he stinks up the entire movie set. This director likes to bust up marriages, this actor and soap star are both on the juice, and this Twilight actress charges for her company. At $50,000 a night, you better hope she bathes first!

This A-lister owns property where he grows his own strain of weed. This reality show contestant is secretly married and this actress is a terror to everyone on set. Maybe she just needs to smoke some of that special Hollywood kush.

This comedian thinks it's funny to rub his dick on pretty ladies he meets on set. This actor's mom is a hoarder. And this actor's house is full of stinky animals. He should move in with the hoarding mom!

This married reality show host is getting to know one contestant really well. This singer's multiple plastic surgeries have led to an infection. And these two relationships are in peril. Maybe they should go on a reality show to work them out.

This kid star drinks, drugs, and a whole lot more with his adult costar. This young female celeb has a taste for coke. And an all-Spanish blind item! Leave your translations and guesses in the comments as usual... or we'll send a coked-out kid actor after you.