This Oscar-winner likes to get "special massages" and his wife doesn't seem to mind. This other actor has a bizarre cure for acne scars. And this tabloid is being charged hefty sums for interviews. They don't even get a happy ending!

This foodie star loves to give singers head—and there's a double helping today to prove it. This model is outing her ex-boyfriend. This actor has a problem with his penis. Maybe our chef can kiss it and make it better?

This celebrity got herself all dried out and then did shots with a parent to celebrate her sobriety. This vegetarian actress is a big old hypocrite. Seems to be going around these days.

This actress may be A-List, but it doesn't stop her from having chronic stinky flatulence. This famous couple is breaking up. This famous couple with a few cases of botched plastic surgery to their name has pictures of their latest three-way floating around. Is there an operation to get rid of a smell?

This starlet walked the red carpet hopped up on crystal. This young actress ruined her face with plastic surgery. This boy bander spent a naked night with a male buddy. And this actress is sleeping with her more famous costar. This may be her big break after all.

Apparently three Oscar-nominated actors will be coming out on Monday and talking about their gay-related movie project. This starlet thinks she's the reincarnation of Marilyn Monroe and this fashion designer has a hemorrhoid problem. Or maybe these are all April Fools jokes.

This famous young lady was caught picking up a pregnancy test. This celebrity likes to go on racist rants, and this famous heir is about to be a father. Do you think he's the one who knocked up our first girl?

This busy showbiz star was caught making out with a woman. Is he cheating on his girlfriend or just further dispelling the gay rumors? There might be some confusion about who fathered this star's baby, and this musician wants a reality show. We'd rather see the fighting behind the cameras.

In these war- and disaster-ravaged times, the world can feel like a grim, deathly place. So it is good to see that yes, in fact, life goes on. Babies are made and will someday be born. Babies like the one Kevin Federline, former dancer and Britney Spears romancer, is expecting with his girlfriend, former volleyball player Victoria Prince. Nature finds a way, guys. It really does. [Photo via Getty]

This crooner had to do damage control when a tape of him dropping the N-bomb hit the streets. This actress helps those in need, another actress has a fake relationship, and this actor got caught getting sexy with another dude. Sorry, it wasn't caught on tape.

One of the tragedies of being marginally famous is that people can write true things about you that you don't like on the internet. Well now, thanks to a knight, these lost souls finally have recourse: iCorrect, the internet's premiere source for niggling, picayune corrections from people you don't particularly care about.

This Hollywood actress recently broke up with her famous man so that she could get it on with his mother. Another actress has a third nipple and this reality star is headed to sex rehab. Apparently he and that actress both have a MILF problem.

According to his celebrity ex, this leading man's member is especially tiny. This celeb wants out of his (or her) religion, and this actress is looking to cash in on an upcoming adoption. We know someone who could use the money for a penile enhancement.

This pop starlet's record label said she better get her sales up, or they'll release naked pictures from her younger days. This actor puke all over the set of the photo shoot. No one took pictures of that.

This elected official is looking for love on the gay cruising iPhone app Grindr. This actor is stalking another actress. This celeb couple is about to break up. And this singer likes to hire hookers. He probably finds those on his iPhone, too.

Her biography claims she did odd jobs to make ends meet before becoming famous. (The odd job? Prostitution.) This actor has multiple girlfriends in different cities, this actress is a real bitch, and this talk show host will soon be out of a job. He could always turn to the world's oldest profession.

This leading lady helped get rid of one of her husbands. Now she has the nickname "Black Widow." This actor has a list of requirements for his next famous beard. One of them is that she doesn't kill him.

This well-known actor was sleeping with both of his costars on the set of their film. This actor refuses to work so he can watch basketball. And this actress is doing a member of the crew. Does anyone actually work on film sets?

This New York shrink has been selling her clients' secrets to the tabloids to support her luxurious lifestyle. This actor claims to be sober but went on a recent bender. If he gets therapy, we know one pro he should avoid.

This young leading lady has a bunch of work lined up, and a bun in the oven wasn't on the schedule. This director hires hookers, this actor is having a gay affair, this actor's wife is getting it on with the gardener, and this tween is buying drugs off the street. Kids these days, they're either doped up or pregnant!