Well, shit. Now that they have the Obliviion, does that make the Nano obsolete?

• We're glad the strike is over for myriad reasons, not the least of which is sparing us from thoughtless, insipid articles about how poorly we dressed just to stay warm. We're sure it was easy to pen crap like that from the comfort of your town car — did Daddy get you that job at the Styles desk? [NYT]
• Nothing a little anal bleaching can't fix. [CNN]
• The only difference we can think of between chick-flick staples Dermot Mulroney and Dylan McDermott is that we see one of them on the street all the time. The, uh, Irish one with the dark hair. [Fametracker]
• Of the five finalists for Jersey's new state slogan, "Love at First Sight" strikes us as the most misleading. [WCBS]
• Brangelina are rumored to have purchased Yves St. Laurent's $25 million Normandy coast summer home, where they will have wild, French animal sex. [The Daily]
• We're sorry, but a sorority just isn't a sorority if it calls itself "feminist." And sisterhood just isn't sisterhood unless you go down on a SigEp first. [Salon]

Never before had a Times headline made us quite so happy.

NYers Strike Back

Meantime, on the West Side, overworked cliches at the NY1 headquarters are considering a walkout of their own.

But that's no reason to punish the puppy.

Today's lesson: On the Monday morning when charities have just beaten storms for Person of the Year honors and Time's cover, this is not a good headline for a story about traditional holiday-season charities facing shortfalls because people have given so much money this year to storm-recovery charities instead.

Top CNN.com headline, 9ish this morning:

Sometimes, we really love German GQ.

One hopes they'll at least be dueling with legal guns.

In that case, you'd think they'd put 'em in separate cells.

Poll: Most Say Bush Has No Iraq Victory Plan [CNN]
Bush Victory Plan [CNN]

As opposed to before, when everyone was champing at the bit for an increase in cop-slays.

Maybe we misunderstand our colonial history, but — what with a government far away attempting to manage its colonial outpost, an insurrection by the locals against those foreign rulers, a king named George who may well be crazy — doesn't that analogy make us the bad guys?

Fuck up once, shame on spellcheck.

"Girlfriend might not be going home with a face, but everyone in this audience will be leaving with an Estee... Lauder... gift... bag!!" [manic screaming and applause] Meanwhile, on Tuesday: Oprah gives away "The Oprah Winfrey Show."

Sure, it seems cruel. But, on the other hand, "Watch grandmother sit in her chair and knit" tested really, really badly. And such is the tyranny of Nielsen.

We're not mocking the matching covers of our local tabs — the shooting death of NYPD officer Dillon Stewart certainly merits a synergistic show of respect. But while the Daily News is strong and silent, the Post just couldn't resist the power hed, could they? Way to ruin a moment, dicks.

On the homepage New York's website today:

It's nice to see, every now and then, that Americans aren't quite as gullible as we often fear they are: