You know it's a bad day at CNN.com when six are dead in three random incidents. And you know it's an even worse day when there's not a "watch now" among them.

In fairness, we imagine "Bush Picks Not-Unqualified Judge," or, "Bush Picks Penis'd Judge" — which are the two actually newsworthy parts of this nomination — don't quite pass the Al Siegal test.

And another study shows that blacks sometimes face racism.

We're just sorry it had to be over something like this.

In times such as these, where international crises spank us like the hand of God upon our bottoms, it's comforting to see the leaders of public opinion put on a brave face and continue to move forward. Thank you, Chloe, for inspiring us to live our lives.

See, they tried to warn her.

Wilma Continues to Slam Florida [AP]

Sure, some call it dangerous. But others find White Nationalism just fills them with warm fuzzies.

And on "her" visit, we're sure Wilma will really tear the place up, frolicking in the surf, lingering on the beaches, and trashing whatever hotel rooms she sees. She'll ravage the buffets and shut down the bars. Whoa boy, the locals will sure remember her visit long after she's gone.

Yes, we know the ratings are bad, and, yes, we know Jeff Zucker's job is sort of on the line. But, still, this seems a bit much:

The New York Post: Redefining what constitutes as national news, one cover story at a time.

A headline from today's Observer:

It's not, sadly, as cool as you think.

Actually, maybe none. They're all about brouhahas, after all.

Bush Job Rating Continues to Drop [CNN.com]

And for his next project, CNN reports, Crowe might even make one of these newfangled talking pictures.

• Headline of the day: 'The Fiat heir, the transsexual and a sordid backstreet drugs overdose' [Times of London]
• Close second: 'Fox Ends Paris' "Life"' [Yahoo]
• Because she's off today, we will be linking to this mp3 of Jay Rosen interrupting Jessica Coen. [Media Center]
• "You know your kidnapping is probably going to turn out alright when your abductors give you souvenir baseball caps to take home." [Romenesko]
• There really was no media news today, on account of all of New York atoning. [DailyTransom]

The Post's thrilling High Holiday Coverage continues!

And, in related news: Puppet cheese accordion sculpture dove blue octahedral droppings, though peaceful consented rigidity bartering smell.

Is it just us or does that top headline (click to enlarge) make absolutely no sense, even for a Post hed? I mean, Tom Cruise is famous for being in movies called "Mission Impossible," and yes, the subhead is informative, if credulous, so we're with them that far. But when we search for some clever double entendre — or even a cheesy pun — we come up dry.