Estrogen risks! Sheep death! Synthetic drugs! Teen drugs! Teen sex! Facebook kidney! Berry cancer! Neck shocker! And your baby has an oddly-shaped head! It's your Wednesday Health Watch, where we watch your health—head-scratchingly!
Craving a turkey burger? You might want to think twice before eating a Jennie-O Turkey Store® All Natural Turkey Burger — 55,000 pounds of it have been recalled in 10 states after a dozen people who ate them were sickened with salmonella. You might be thinking, "another salmonella recall, so what," right? Well, the CDC and USDA think these burgers might have a super-strength salmonella strain! According to Food Poison Journal:
Meteorite robbers! Food dyes! Cow people milk! Formaldehyde life! Monarch butterflies! Lion variations! Breast milk oncology! And bitter autism failure! It's your Monday Science Watch, where we watch science—creamily!
Scientists who are probably just trying to make themselves feel better are always doing some study on fat kids, with grim results. The latest: being ostracized just makes fat kids more fat. Yea, well, so?
Saving smiles! Tainted IVs! Hep C! Water balls! Baby babble! No births! College hookups! And super secret squats! It's your Thursday Health Watch, where we watch your health—but just as a friend!
An obese man died after being found "fused to his chair" in his Bellaire, Ohio home, where he had sat in a recliner for two years. Police—called by his girlfriend—had remove him through a hole in the wall.
First Lady Michelle Obama, who has the nerve and audacity and dare I say uppitiness to want our children to eat better and live healthier, ought to be knocked down to her proper place upon hearing this: Illinois's 1st Congressional District, which includes Obama's South Side Chicago home turf, ranks 430th out of 436th in a new national health and well-being survey, and dead last in the "healthy behavior category." Boom.
Breakup pain! Men and doctors! Mommy medicine! Adolescent specialists! Dangerous dyes! Sleep weight loss! Death rate fluctuations! M.S. marijuana! And eating disorders of the olds! It's your Tuesday Health Watch, where we watch your health—or, like, whatever!
If you're unfortunate enough to live in meth country — basically south of the Mason-Dixon Line, and across the Midwest all the way to Riverside County — soon you might be screwed if you get a cold or your allergies act up.
Happiness peaks in old age, according to Lewis Wolpert, emeritus—i.e., old—professor of biology at University College London, whose new book is about getting old. Wolpert's book gets a writeup in The Daily Telegraph, which cites a psychologist at UCL to write:
A new study finds that "young adults who regularly attend religious activities may be more prone to obesity by middle age than their nonreligious peers," according to the LA Times. The study of 2,433 people found that men and women aged 20-32 who were very religiously involved were 50% more likely to be fat at middle age, even controlling for other variables like race, age and income.
Sports brain! Sweat for the boss! Inclusive fitness! Kardashian role model! Exercise motivation! Mismatches! One-legged wrestlers! And the abject failure of squats! It's time for your Wednesday Fitness Watch.
Everyone thinks sex is so cool. Well I have news for you, sluts: Your risk of heart failure is more than doubled during occasional sex. Sex doesn't seem so "sexy" now, does it?
Sex dissatisfaction! Child car seats! Deadly headaches! Chronic fatigue! Radiation safety! Male facelifts! Fitness myths! Poison prevention! Trauma survival! And a hot new lupus update! It's your Tuesday Health Watch, where we watch your health—with head-splitting authority!
HIV testing! Fish eyes! Menthol guidelines! Dukan diet! Smoke cancer! Radiation risks! Fat marathon! Fecal stories! And wanton overconsumption of the devil salt! It's your Friday Health Watch, where we watch your health—leaving you no choice in the matter!
Dog fitness coaches! Firefighter fitness plan! Hoosier fitness shame! Rihanna fitness secrets! Republican fitness DVD! Bachelor fitness freak! And aerobic fitness sham! It's your Wednesday fitness watch, where we watch your fitness—until we vomit with pride!
Despite being a nation of hideously unhealthy McDonald's addicts who binge drink, text message while driving, and hold Charlie Sheen in high esteem, U.S. life expectancy has reached another all-time high. Babies born in 2009 can expect to live 78 years and 2 months. Go team!
Plant life! Animal love! Prison workout! Potassium Iodide! Food surplus! Teen sleep! Nuclear disaster! And the key to happiness! It's your Tuesday Science Watch, where we watch science—from within a radiation-proof bubble!
