A mystery respiratory illness has killed two people and infected five others in Alabama. All of the victims have shown signs of fever, cough and shortness of breath, but the Alabama Department of Public Health hasn't been able to identify the disease.

B vitamins may stave off Alzheimer's disease.

New research on the health of immigrants has found that they live longer than their children, mostly because the American way of life is a horribly unhealthy one.

You hear all these so-called "health experts" and "emergency room doctors gazing at our insulin levels in amazement" today who tell us, "Hey, don't drink so much soda," or "Hey, how can you put Mountain Dew in your baby's bottle, you monster?" They're always telling us to drink more water. But water is gross. What to do?

For years, doctors have advised people to limit their daily salt intake to 1,500 milligrams in order to protect their hearts. Now, other doctors say that keeping your salt intake that low will hurt your heart. What we can say for sure: salt, heart.

A deadly new strain of coronavirus, a SARS-like respiratory virus, has now spread to France, where it has infected at least two people. But it gets even more exciting. After the French health ministry's confirmation of the second infection, the World Health Organization announced that it's likely that the virus can be passed person-to-person.

Well, it's more or less official now: owning a dog is great for your heart health. (Unless that dog is Herbert, the asshole dog that tried to bite me when I nicely volunteered to walk him. Fuck you, Herbert.)

The sun has risen, and it's time for "Hey, Science," our boldly scientific weekly feature in which we have your most provocative scientific questions answered by real live scientists (or related experts). No topic is off limits in our ongoing quest for truth and time-wasting. This week, doctors explain: Why do cardio exercise when you could just do cocaine?

America's most popular child-rearing consortium, the Coca-Cola corporation, declared today that it is taking a slew of new measures to make sure that you and your children do not turn into a bunch of walking diabetes bombs, courtesy of Coca-Cola products. Seriously, this is the last thing Coca-Cola is going to do for you, okay? Take some fucking responsibility, for chrissake.

Have you ever wondered what state you should move to to ensure the long-term health of your dog or cat? Me neither. But I'm sure some of you have. And now, thanks to a new survey from a chain of pet hospitals, we know.

Here's a disgusting new way to make Baby healthier: Instead of being an uptight parent who uses dishwashers or soap or basic hygiene, try "cleaning" your infant's gross pukey pacifier by sticking that thing in your mouth and sucking away.

This is reassuring: the FDA says that, sometime this year, they'll finally get around to properly investigating triclosan, the germ-killing ingredient used in anti-bacterial soaps, mouthwash, toothpaste and toys. But how long has this potentially-harmful chemical been on the market? Only 40 plus years.

The Department of Justice gave notice late today that it will appeal a court order to make emergency contraception available over the counter to all women of reproductive age.

Consumer Reports' first-ever thorough lab analysis of raw ground turkey meat and patties discovered that more than half the packages tested positive for fecal bacteria. So much for that "healthy" turkey burger, huh?

A federal judge in Brooklyn ruled that the FDA must make the "morning-after" pill available over the counter for all ages, rather than requiring a prescription for girls 16 and under. This ruling is the latest breakthrough in a decade-long argument about who should have access to this birth control and under what circumstances.

A dentist's office in suburban Tusla, Oklahoma could have exposed 7,000 patients to a variety of blood-borne viruses including hepatitis B, hepatitis C, and HIV. Susan Rogers, executive director of the Oklahoma Board of Dentistry, described the office as a "perfect storm." She said that health investigators were at a loss for words to describe the breach of proper procedures:

After experiencing a throbbing pain and noticing redness in her right eye, Ashley Hyde, an 18-year-old high school senior, went to several doctors. None of them could figure out the problem.

In an effort better manage its healthcare costs, the pharmacy brand CVS Caremark is now asking all employees who use company health insurance to have doctors assess their weight and body fat, among other things, measurements that will then be turned over to CVS' insurer. The company is calling the assessment, which it will provide, "a health screening and wellness review so that colleagues know their key health metrics in order to take action to improve their numbers, if necessary." Any employee who chooses to opt out of the screening will have their health coverage jump $50 per month, according to the Boston Herald.

Good day to you all. It is time for "Hey, Science," our splendidly scientific weekly feature in which we have your most provocative scientific questions answered by real live scientists (or related experts). No question is too intelligent for our legion of learned persons, and the real winner is you, the public. This week, scientists answer the question: Why is there no male contraceptive pill?

Fourth meal is doing nobody no good. Not only is a healthy weight associated with a full night's sleep, but a recent study shows something more shocking and immediate—cutting down on sleep hours over just a week can lead to immediate weight increase.