A man rooting around his medicine cabinet found one of his ex-girlfriend's old pregnancy tests. Because he was bored or felt like peeing on something, he took one of the tests, and much to his surprise, it came back positive. "Lol," he thought, probably. He told his friend about the ordeal, who then turned the humorous tale into a rage comic and posted it on Reddit.

On occasion, our dormant fitness column, "I of the Tiger," will return to address vital physical issues of importance.

You should know better than to take fitness advice from the New York Times. The latest reason: their story today entitled, "Why Women Can't Do Pull-Ups." Women: you can do pull-ups. Do not believe the hype.

In Kountze, Texas, high school cheerleaders had a habit of writing Bible verses on banners for school football games. The superintendent, cognizant of our pesky "separation of church and state," ordered them to stop. A district judge disagreed, and has (temporarily) allowed the Bible banners to continue, throwing editorial writers across America into a tizzy over the various abuses of law and the American way by one of the world's easiest targets: insular middle American Christians.

When necessary, our dormant fitness column, "I of the Tiger," will return in order to address urgent fitness issues which demand a timely reckoning. This is one of those times.

This Brazilian gentleman's scalp, NBC News informs us, is not "neither a funky new look nor a hipster trend" — that is, unless medical conditions that create folds and creases on the surface of your scalp are a hipster trend! (They're not.) The condition is called "cutis verticis gyrata":

Call me crazy, but I don't think it should be legal for adults to suck the blood from freshly circumcised baby penises. Alas, doing just that is a very important ritual for some Orthodox Jews. Called metzitzah b'peh, the process involves the mohel snipping away the foreskin and then sucking the blood from the penis to "cleanse" the wound. Obviously putting saliva on an open wound isn't considered an antiseptic practice in any realm of modern medicine, especially when that open wound belongs to an infant with a barely there immune system. Indeed, since 2002, metzitzah b'peh has been responsible for spreading Type 1 herpes, a very common condition in American adults, to 11 different babies, killing two of them and giving two others brain damage, according to ABC News.

Item: "Obese kids — even as early as age 6 — can start showing changes to their heart muscles that could lead to problems later."

You know how sugary soft drinks are bad for us, and maybe even worse for growing boys and girls? Well, I hope you're sitting down, because here are three new studies showing the correlation between kids drinking soda and kids getting fat.

It took a few months, but the whole world now knows that Mitt Romney is just awful at running for president. One thing he's good at, however, besides accumulating ungodly sums of money, is staying in shape.

There comes a time, in every man's life, when he's gotta handle shit up on his own. Can't depend on friends to help you in a squeeze. Please—they got problems of their own. These words are just as true now as they were minutes ago, when I stole them from a Pharcyde song.

Getting old is terrifying. That's probably why many men — concerned about gaining weight, losing their sex drives, and generally being schlubbier than they once were — are now turning to testosterone treatments.

Circumcision remains a contentious issue — opponents argue that it's unnecessary genital mutilation, while fans say foreskin just plain looks funny.

It seems damn hard to get in shape these days. First, Americans were devastated to learn that LapBandVip.com billboards would not turn them into fitness models; now, in another crushing blow to people who want to exercise in their living rooms with a bare minimum of effort and subsequently bear a strong resemblance to John Basedow, it seems the Ab Circle Pro is not the magical device that was promised.

If you're poor, you'll get fat, and if you think you're getting fat, you'll get fat. Why even try?

Get ready for some cold, hard science facts.

If your toilet was made by American Standard, Crane, Kohler, Eljer, Mansfield, St. Thomas or Gerber between 1997 and 2008, there's at least some chance it could randomly explode and cause "laceration injuries." So far at least 304 toilets have burst, resulting in 14 reported injuries.

Here at "I of the Tiger" Fitness Reportage Inc., we don't know much about "politics" or "economics" or "stealthy plans to decimate the social safety net while funneling untold sums to the rich." But we do know about fitness fads, exercise trends, and workout crapola. So when we heard that hokey-doke dreamboat Paul Ryan, Washington DC's most famous adherent of the P90X workout, could be the next VP, we immediately knew that it was time to exploit this fact for profit.

Mosquito bites might be fun to scratch — hey, I don't know what you're into — but they can cause some serious complications. In fact, an outbreak of mosquito-carried West Nile Virus has claimed the lives of nine people this summer.

Here is a true story ripped directly from the pages of real life: at the gym, on a crowded week night, there was some dude, just as proud as he could be, doing yoga in front of the weight rack. The weight rack that I needed to use. Stone-cold down on one knee, neck twisted, hand aloft, in the "Can You Believe I'm Actually Doing This Right Here" pose. Can you believe this dude? You know?