The Herman Cain campaign spent all night designing its pretty new "Women for Cain" page, complete with a banner logo featuring four cheery ladies giving the thumbs-up, and how does the liberal media show its gratitude? By making fun of the banner logo all day, since those four cheery ladies were not actually "Women for Cain" so much as they were stock photo models. And now the Cain campaign has pulled the stock photo from the logo, which now simply reads "Women [lots of blank space] Cain." EVERYONE HAPPY NOW?

Earlier this year when potential Republican presidential candidates were deciding whether to run, you'd hear a common excuse from those who chose not to: My wife didn't want me to!

Herman Cain, who's currently having a conversation with his wife that unfortunately isn't available on pay-per-view, sent a note to supporters last night directing them to a new website feature: "Encouragement for Herman Cain." Aww, the poor guy's suicidal.

As his lawyer fought with Piers Morgan on CNN, Herman Cain granted an extended interview to longtime friend Sean Hannity tonight, and—in a rare moment of somewhat effective communication—announced he'll decide by Monday whether or not to continue his campaign. The rest of the interview, though, was classic Cain: a giant mess of half-brained half-truths that cause secondhand embarrassment for everyone else. Here are the worst (and therefore best) four minutes.

On Tuesday, Republican presidential obsessive Mitt Romney agreed to a rare one-on-one interview with Fox News' Brett Baier, which turned quite sour the moment Baier dared to ask Romney why he's been on every side of every issue. On tonight's Daily Show, Jon Stewart noted that Romney's reaction when asked about his political flip-flopping resembled that of Herman Cain when asked about alleged mistress Ginger White.

Piers Morgan spent about 30 minutes on his program tonight attempting to interview Lin Wood, the attorney of soon-to-be-former presidential candidate Herman Cain. But try as he might, Morgan simply could not make Wood understand that, when you go on a talk show to answer questions about your client's various sex-related scandals, you're sort of expected to do so. Here are some of the interview's lowlights.

Give it up for Americans for Herman Cain, the SuperPAC that appears to be competing with the Cain campaign proper to determine which makes the funniest ads. This one here, it's a real treat. It implies that Herman Cain passed a lie detector test, thus conclusively revealing the "truth" about his various sexual harassment allegations. Clever move, Super PAC! But one should note that Herman Cain has not actually taken a lie detector test.

Earlier today, we asked if anyone had seen Herman Cain drinking "like a fish" on the campaign trail. But it looks like we found evidence all on our own! Because he was obviously drunk when he made this map for his website explaining his foreign policy positions.

Does Herman Cain just drink constantly on the campaign trail? We didn't hear much about this as he was becoming the frontrunner, but the faster he plummets, and the more his allies turn on him, the more delicious these stories should become! It's already starting.

During a commercial break yesterday, Wolf Blitzer received news that a woman was about to allege a 13-year extramarital affair with Herman Cain, who happened to be in a CNN studio with Blitzer at that very time. So as anyone who watches things very closely would do, Blitzer proceeded to ask Cain about the forthcoming allegation. And while the actual interview was entertaining in its own right, it pales in comparison to a version played by Conan O'Brien on Wednesday night's episode of Conan, which you'll find above.

Yesterday, a woman named Ginger White came forward alleging a 13-year extramarital affair with Herman Cain, a charge Cain flatly denied (while warning us of its imminence) in an interview with Wolf Blitzer. After praising him for finally having a consensual sex-related scandal on tonight's Daily Show, Jon Stewart proceeded to poke hole after hole in Cain's weak and improbable denial.

All of Herman Cain's conservative buddies are ditching him now, after word came out that he was allegedly sexing up a non-wife gal for 13 years. No longer is this a "high tech lynching" in their minds. Why are they ditching this true conservative? Where's the support during tough times? For that, we must turn our attention to the most fascinating place on earth: The Arizona state Senate.

Poor old Herman Cain has told his senior staff on a conference call this morning that he's "reassessing" whether to stay in the race and will make his final decision in "the next few days," National Review reports.

A Fox affiliate in Atlanta plans to run a story tonight about a woman claiming she had a 13-year affair with Herman Cain. How do did we learn about this? Herman Cain just popped up on CNN to warn us. A hot scoop for Herman Cain!

Now that Herman Cain's sliding back into a comfortable third place in the polls and no one cares about him anymore, how should he spend all that money he raised while he was the frontrunner? "Converting the campaign into a PAC and paying yourself a million dollar salary for the next few years" would be our plan, and it's probably his for further down the road! For now, though, he'll make fancy cartoons like this one, about the 9-9-9 tax plan.

While listening to Aunt Eunice talk about her recent hip surgery and watching Little Cousin Jaydenlynne text furiously over her plateful of unwanted peas, you slowly chewed your turkey and thought about American's politicians and pundits, and how they are spending Thanksgiving. Am I right?

In case it wasn't obvious already, Herman Cain's brief outreach to the Muslim community to atone for his unending list of inflammatory statements is definitely over.

Herman Cain stuck around for three segments on tonight's Late Show, during which a noticeably "I'm not here for this" David Letterman listened to him give rambling half-truth answers to questions about everything from his "999" economic plan, to his smoking campaign manager (who was there, smoking), to the sexual harassment allegations that have mired his campaign as of late. A clip of Letterman and Cain's tense discussion related to the sexual harassment scandal is above.

Pity the Secret Service, a law enforcement agency positively stretched to its limits, what with all those mentally ill drifters from Idaho on missions from God trying to assassinate the president and whatnot. But no, that can wait, guys. Herman Cain needs some protection! (Incidentally, that's the same exclamation that began every National Restaurant Association job interview from 1997 to 1999.)

Newt Gingrich is the latest in a host of Republican presidential candidates to savor the "frontrunner" status given by the media. But just as fast as they giveth, they taketh away, as Jon Stewart illustrated on tonight's Daily Show. A clip of the segment is above.