Unilever, the enormous global consumer products conglomerate that makes everything from shampoo to mayonnaise, wants to do its part to save the world. How can you help? By buying lots and lots of Unilever products.

Unilever has a new... charity? Ad campaign? Branding project? Well, they definitely have a website, and it's called "Project Sunlight," and its ostensible purpose is to help do something good for the world, somehow. The Wall Street Journal reports:

The "Project Sunlight" campaign, which starts Wednesday, aims to change [Unilever's low brand visibility], encompassing all of Unilever's 400-plus brands. Followers of Unilever's social-media feeds will be driven toward a new website that promotes the brands' social-mission stories and urges consumers to make small changes in their own lives—changes that generally involve buying Unilever products.

It's not just Hellman's— it's Mayo on a Mission.

Like conserving water? So does Suave shampoo.

Wanna help poor tea farmers work sustainably? Lipton is right there with you, bro.

Do you love your baby? Better buy some fucking Q-tips.

I congratulate Unilever on what is one of the most farcically self-serving "corporate social responsibility" campaigns that I can recall. And competition is stiff.

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