• David Hasselhoff is barred from Wimbledon because he sweats vodka and tried to get in without a ticket, screaming, "Do you know who I am? I'm the Hoff!" David, that shit only works on the set of Baywatch Nights. [Page Six]
• Nicky Hilton plans to open her own chain of hotels. The girl loves a challenge. [People]
• Hillary Clinton refuses to cooperate with writer Gail Sheehy for her forthcoming profile in Vanity Fair, maybe because Sheehy is seen attending events in a bright orange blazer. [Lowdown]
• Get photographed with some blow, and you'll raise your income by $11 million. Sears Portrait Studio, here we come! [Page Six]
• Russell Crowe and Danielle Spencer give birth to a baby boy; Crowe promptly punches baby in the face. [Us Weekly]
• Johnny Damon smoked pot as a kid. Related: new study finds that some teens drink alcohol. [R&M]

The News' Ben Smith takes note of the following event:

Despite Drudge's incoherent heralding of forthcoming doom, today's Times article on the state of the Clintons' marriage is hardly revelatory. Yes, they're both very busy. No, they don't spend a ton of time together. Yes, Bill is trying to keep his distance. No, there really isn't any new information here.

• 16 on Death Row, Tupac
• Don't Fear the Reaper, Blue Oyster Cult
• 18 and Life, Skid Row
• Folsom Prison Blues, Johnny Cash
• Going Down to Die, Danzig
• Stranded on Death Row, Dr. Dre

Because we are but troglodytic cave dwellers who know nothing about the outside world, New York has informed us that Rupert Murdoch is very, very influential. And they were right, by golly. After his minions at the Post attacked Senator Hillary Clinton with "Don't Run" headlines, it was reported yesterday that he'll now be hosting a fundraiser for her in July. It's not particularly mind-boggling: keep your friends close, keep your enemies closer — especially if, you know, she has a chance to become President.

Ron Burkle's mansion Green Acres, the "historic" (by L.A. standards) former Harold Lloyd estate in Beverly Hills, is best described as a sort of Democratic Bohemian Grove.

From today's Times:

The problem with political events today — and especially the problem with Hillary Clinton's political events these days — is that they're just too loose. Too freeform, too unscripted, too let-it-all-hang-out. You know what would solve the problem? If only we could have a wax-figure political rally. Then finally wild-n-crazy Hillary would be as stiff and scripted as we all wish she could be.

We've always imagined that the hardest part of being a political flack — or any sort of flack, really — is having to pretend to believe in someone and his cause just because he's the guy signing your paychecks.

An item on NYTimes.com this morning:

News comes today that Jeanine Pirro, the Westchester Country district attorney, will run against Hillary Clinton for U.S. Senate. They're both hard-charging, well-known, charismatic women. And they both have husbands who've been in the public eye. "Ms. Pirro's advisers also believe that in a Senate race," observes the Times, "the candidates' husband issues could cancel each other out."

· GQ Editor Art Cooper, saying goodbye via email: "The great virtue about e-mails is they don't show tear stains." [Page Six]
· CNN's response to the question of whether they turned up the booing on Michael Moore's Oscar speech: "It's ridiculous. That's our response." [Page Six]
· Donald Trump's girlfriend, Melania Knauss, has dozens of seemingly identical black coats. Her explanation: the paparazzi photograph her everywhere she goes and, "if you wear something twice, even a coat, you're a target." [Page Six]
· Hillary Clinton's memoir isn't going to be a juicy tell-all. [Cindy Adams]
· Cindy Crawford: "Arugula is how I define cities. I go to a grocery store and either you can get arugula or you can't." [Cindy Adams]
· First Brother Neil Bush's estranged wife, Sharon, is considering writing what will definitely be a juicy tell-all. [NY Daily News]

· Bill and Hillary Clinton are behind schedule on finishing their respective memoirs, but their publishing houses deny it. One publishing insider on Bill: "[Knopf] is worried he will never actually get around to writing the book - or when he does, he won't be relevant anymore. Hillary is a senator and will probably run for president. Bill does...nothing." [Page Six]
· Sylvester Stallone wants to produce Rocky as a musical. [Page Six]
· Richard Gere on going to jail to free Tibet: "If I heard from a credible person, a high lama, that I'd be much more effective going to prison for 10 years than doing what I'm doing here, of course I'd go to prison." [Page Six]
· The View hostess Star Jones "went nuts," when ABC told her she couldn't plug Payless Shoes on the show. "She was screaming all day. First at ABC executives and then at her agent [Betsy Berg]. But network executives didn't back down and told her they wouldn't let her do free p.r. for the shoes." [Page Six]
· Security guards at the Universal Studios lot in Los Angeles have posted headshots of media mogul Barry Diller in their booths so as not to commit the faux pas of asking their boss to show his identification. [Page Six]
· Chippendale Kevin Cornell: "We strip down as far as the hand can cover. People ask are we gay. Absolutely not. We have to be straight or we wouldn't enjoy pleasuring all these females. Girls follow us all the time and rock stars are jealous of us and we go out and party all the time." [Cindy Adams]
· Director Roman Polanski says he's not angry at Adrien Brody: "I am stunned by what I read. All I can say is that I never said or even thought anything that was ascribed to me. I was jumping with joy when I saw Adrien's speech. I felt - and still feel - enormous gratitude and love for Adrien. Without Adrien Brody there would no 'Pianist.' What more can I say to dispel these lies?" [NY Daily News]

Hillary Clinton issues a disclaimer about her husband's new 60 Minutes gig: "If people don't agree with what he says, they should call his office, not mine."
Clinton, Dole ready for 120 seconds [WaPo via Romenesko]

· Irish bad boy Colin Farrell on casual sex: "I'm into [it] . . . I come into town and fuck whoever I can - but I'm not mean and egotistical about it. Whoever I bang is bangin' me back!" [Page Six]
· Howard Stern and Carson Daly were having a contest at Rehab to see who could get the most women to come to their respective tables. Stern won. [Page Six]
· Ken Park co-director and Far From Heaven cinematographer Ed Lachman appears on the front page of the Rotterdam Film Festival's daily newspaper buck naked. [Page Six]
· Cindy Adams filmed Hitler's secretary long before Sony did their "first-and-only exclusive" for their film, Blind Spot. [Cindy Adams]
· Hillary Clinton remarks that Matilda Cuomo understands the challenges of being a governor's wife, but "we won't go into that now"; Jude Law's wife Sadie Frost is being treated for severe depression in a London clinic; and more words of wisdom from Colin Farell: "I love porn movies. They're great, great fun. I've been buying porn movies since I was 14." [NY Daily News]

The Clintons, Bob Rubin and George Stephanopoulos are all in New York, and Al Gore looked surprisingly at ease when in town for Saturday Night Live. With so many Clinton administration veterans, says New York Magazine, it's as if Manhattan were "a glamorous Elba, an outpost of forsaken ideals." Only difference: Napoleon came back from Elba.
Memo to Al (er, Mr. President): Make a brand-new start of it in old New York [New York Magazine]