Diablo's Tara draws strong ratings in total homeskillets. [THR]

Imagine acting in a film opposite Ellen Page; every day on set must be a bundle of Diablo Cody-scripted larfs, right? According to Marcia Gay Harden, not so much! Harden and her daughter play members of Page's family in Drew Barrymore's upcoming directorial debut Whip It!, and both told MTV that the Juno actress simply would not submit to their months-long campaign of laugh harassment:

After taking two months off from her Myspace blog (but not her Twitter), Oscar-winning leopard print fan Diablo Cody returned to the medium yesterday — but this was not to be some simple homecoming. Cody had a bone to pick with fans who she sensed had begun to reject the cool, refreshing taste of Sunny D in favor of a nice, tall glass of Haterade, and the Juno screenwriter wasn't about to suffer their attacks in silence. Instead, in a post entitled "Hello Again! (Starring Shelly Long)," Cody decided to get something off her chest (and it wasn't whipped cream):

As he makes the rounds on his Hancock press tour, Jason Bateman has taken time out of plugging the Arrested Development movie to address whether his previous film, the teen pregnancy comedy Juno, was totally responsible for all those Gloucester teenagers who all got pregnant at the same time. Unsurprisingly, he answers in the negative:

Oh cruel fate, to learn today that Ellen Page was one deleted musical scene away from certain Oscar victory. Thankfully, the kind people at Amazon have righted the sitch (man, we're getting Diablo'd just thinking about it), offering the Cafe Triste "Jub Jub" (not to be confused with the Ewok's "Yub Nub") song as a sneak peek at Juno's DVD special content.

In a moment so genuinely awkward that adorably awkward Michael Cera looks almost uncomfortably awkward living it, our knocked-up heroine sings the grrl power anthem about baby batter, dances, and tic tacs to an empty coffeehouse. Watch and we think you'll agree: had the Academy gotten their hands on this one, we would have been treated to a deadpan Page acceptance speech (did she mean there are truly angels in this city, or was that ironic?) and an unearthed interview on her refusal to believe in the Teapot Dome scandal.

Having flirted with dangerous levels of underexposure since winning her Best Screenplay Oscar a little over a month ago, Diablo Cody is back with a double-barreled blast of creative miracles. First up, The Hollywood Reporter notes that Cody's long-rumored comedy series The United States of Tara — starring Toni Collette as the title character afflicted with multiple personalities — is nearing a full-season order from Showtime. We can handle this without much difficulty — and by "handle" we mean "believe," because the second project has the calendar-conscious skeptic in us praying for an April Fool's Day revelation:

When Ellen Page strutted onto the stage of Studio 8H to deliver her monologue on this week's episode of SNL dressed like one of the Sweathogs, we didn't pay it much mind. With the benefit of hindsight (and after having seen this skit), maybe our eyebrows should have risen ever so slightly. But, at the time, we were too busy enjoying Andy Samberg's impression of Diablo Cody to wonder about the Ellen Page Sexuality Sweepstakes. While all you bloggers and froggers out there will likely concur that his Diablo didn't quite reach the level of the Diablo impersonator in the Funny Or Die video, we did love the calvacade of blog references that he managed to mix into his impression. The video, along with a complete list of all of the blog-related catchphrases in the making follows after the jump:

As the bra-burning women's rights activists etched into our heads, being a feminist means having a choice: you can either choose to bake pies alongside June Cleaver, or you can choose to spray whip cream on your tits and shake your moneymaker in front of salivating men. But whichever path you choose to trek, you can always win an Oscar! Just like Diablo Cody (the artist formerly known as Brook Busey-Hunt, aka Candy Girl)! As you might expect, Diablo's triumph is proving to be an inspiration for aspiring pole dancers everywhere. As one stripper wrote on her blog, "I can't tell you how excited I am by [Cody] being shot out of the fame cannon and into the dazzling sky." Us too! But just in case Diablo's win wasn't enough to inspire these lacy ladies to put away their chaps for good, just wait til they read Cody's MySpace response to Tuesday's nudie pic revelations:

It's quite the week of firsts for Diablo Cody. She won her first Oscar, she became embroiled in her first red carpet scandal and now, the first nude pictures of her have hit The Internets. Probably not surprising, considering her famed and well-marketed history as a stripper turned blogger turned screenwriter. A few of the more SFW pics, including her faithful recreation of Ali Larter's whipped cream bikini shot from Varsity Blues (somewhere, a Vanity Fair photog is kicking himself for not thinking of this idea first), appear after the jump.

Was Oscar Winner™ Diablo Cody just being an indie snob when she chose not to sport those infamous million dollar shoes or is she beyond cool for refusing to act as some designer's publicity stunt? After reading her MySpace message in response to designer Stuart Weitzman's offering, we're inclined to go with the latter. Plus, silver shoes decked out in diamonds worth more than her tacky dress would be overkill even for Miss Busey-Hunt. As she put it:

While it remains to be seen whether or not Diablo Cody will be joining the likes of Cameron Crowe and Woody Allen on the list of Oscar-winning writers, one thing is certain: she'll be wearing Million Dollar Shoes to the Academy Awards on Sunday. Tacky tastemaker Stuart Weitzman's infamous Kwiat diamond-encrusted shoes will adorn the Juno scriptess's feet as she walks the carpet. We are proud to report that this news marks Brook's official jump from Former Stripper to Rental Footwear Prostitute. [SF Gate]

Hipsters can complain about it all they want, but America has fully embraced the Junoverse. Not only is it the most popular of this year's Best Picture nominees ($125 million and counting), it also has an excellent chance of pulling off a Crash-style upset come Sunday. While we seemingly hear the phrase "it's the closest Oscar race in years" each and every awards season, this year it might actually be true. No one movie stands out as a frontrunner. No Country For Old Men is confusing, There Will Be Blood is looooong and grim, 6 people saw Michael Clayton and Atonement feels like an afterthought. That leaves Juno. Just because you sit in your little Silverlake apartment hating on all that overwritten dialogue doesn't mean the rest of the country didn't find it utterly charming.

Although we did recently declare a temporary moratorium on burger phone jokes, it is worth noting that a blogger who goes by the handle of Big Ross recently got his hands on a copy of Diablo Cody's first post-Juno script, entitled Jennifer's Body. Megan Fox (Transformers) and director Karyn Kusama (Aeon Flux) are attached to the horror/thriller about a cheerleader who somehow becomes possessed by a demonic spirt which compels her to start offing all of the dudes at her high school. And while we haven't actually seen the script ourselves, from what Big Ross describes, we feel pretty safe declaring that Diablo's streak of consecutive Oscar nominations will come to an end at one.

Although Juno's biggest B.O. weekends appear to be in the rearview mirror, that doesn't mean that America's appetite for all things Juno has fully subsided. In addition to the soundtrack's strong performance (currently #2 on the Billboard charts), there appears to be overwhelming demand on the black markets for Hamburger Phones! Or, rather, overwhelming supply. There are currently over 50 listings on eBay for hamburger phones, some of which utilize a hand-crafted MS Paint montage that includes Diablo "Call Me Brook" Cody's now-famous shot of her talking on her very own Hamburger Phone. With that in mind, we're using all of the money in the Defamer piggy bank to corner the market on orange Tic-Tacs. You know, just in case the Juno ancillary markets continue to grow. [Pop Candy]

"I heard that films are structured around the male orgasm, the way they climax. Though, if it were modeled on the male orgasm, it would just immediately cut to black." Hamburger Phone enthusiast turned stripper turned blogger turned screenwriter turned Oscar Nominee turned aspiring standup comedienne Diablo Cody, from an interview with the Times Of London [Page Six]

In the second entry of her new(ish) Binge Thinking column for Entertainment Weekly, Diablo Cody wisely decides not to use the column space to discuss how homeskillets really need to shut their gobs when using burger phones to discuss doodles that can't be undid. Rather, she (perhaps unwisely) decided to fall back on a tried and true journalistic crutch for churning out a piece without actually having to formulate that strong of an opinion on something ... she makes a list! Sort of. Her innovatively (or not) titled thesis, "Heroine Chic", revolves around "killer onscreen heroines who weren't too cool to care about their hair, complexion, or wardrobe." Like Andie from Pretty In Pink and Uncle Jesse from Full House. Yeah, we're kind of lost, too.

When Juno, the 16-year-old heroine of the movie being marketed hardest to my generation this holiday season, tells her best friend she's pregnant, the friend's first reaction is, "Honest to blog?" CLUNK. But in spite of being forewarned about that line in the movie's ubiquitous T.V. spots, and in spite of David Denby's New Yorker rave—"Juno is a coming-of-age movie made with idiosyncratic charm and not a single false note"—I still held out high hopes for alternastripper memoirist turned screenwriter Diablo Cody's collaboration with 'Thank You For Smoking' director Jason Reitman. But guess what? There are false notes aplenty in this trytoohardy movie. Honest to blog!