Anthony Nicolas Orban already killed himself in jail, but the justice system isn't done with the evil California cop who abducted a diner waitress at gunpoint and raped her behind a storage shed in a seedy Inland Empire town.

Million-dollar homes in Camarillo, Calif. were reduced to nothing yesterday as a wind-stoked fire in Ventura County spread over 8,000 acres, threatening 2,000 homes and causing hundreds of evacuations.

Life as a newspaper journalist is a crushing series of indignities ending only with your final layoff from the last print newsroom within a hundred miles of your (foreclosed) condo. For California's Pulitzer-winning daily the Press-Enterprise, today's comically tragic news is that the paper's headquarters is being sold off for $30 million, with the remaining employees destined to be shuffled over to some leased office space in Riverside.

Leanne Suter, a reporter for KABC in Los Angeles, was shot in the hand with a BB gun yesterday while doing a segment on weather. We can't find video of the incident itself, but apparently Leanne is such a bad-ass that "viewers could not tell" she was shot.

Some residents of Riverside County, California are up in arms about a proposed new mosque that they fear will ruin the view of tract homes and freeways, while breeding "Islamic extremists" and offering a safe haven to terrorist "sleeper cells."

For those of you who found last week's David Lynch promotional stunt for Inland Empire too geographically inconvenient to attend, you have a second chance to catch the director, his trusty cow sidekick, and various signs celebrating Laura Dern's performance in person, where you can possibly absorb some of his cryptic wisdom on the origins of cheese. Alerts a reader apparently unaware that Lynch and his bovine prop previously graced a corner in Hollywood last Thursday: