Google has given all of its employees $1,000 cash "holiday bonuses" and 2011 salary increases of at least 10%, a loyal reader tells us.

The New York Times Co. is ending its Employee Stock Purchase Plan, where employees could buy company stock at a discount. Nobody wanted to buy that crappy stock, apparently! And with good reason. The email that just went out to staffers is below.

As expected, horny Tribune Co. CEO Randy Michaels is gone. The following memo just went out to employees:

Buffoonish human malaprop generator Lee Abrams resigned from his laughably lofty post at Tribune Co. last week in the wake of a poorly-timed email scandal. Now, Lee Abrams is coming to his own defense—via email!

Ask, and ye shall receive: after his poorly-timed "Slut"-containing memo this week, Tribune Co.'s Chief Clown and Innovator, Lee Abrams, has been suspended. Memo below.

Is Tribune Co. "Chief Bong Hitting Innovations Officer" Lee Abrams the stupidest man in America not currently starring in an MTV reality show? That's what she said, haha. Oh, we mean: Yes.

Sara Vilkomerson, the former culture editor of the New York Observer, has been hired as a senior writer at EW. Staff memo below:

What would you do if you were in charge of the Los Angeles Times and the Chicago Tribune? Would you offer a waitress $100 to show her breasts? That's what Tribune Company CEO Randy Michaels did. And it's not all.

TV columnist Michael Ausiello is leaving EW to start his own site. This memo is going out to EW staffers:

One heroic, honest—too honest Barron's staffer announced that he had bedbugs in his apartment building. Now the entire Wall Street Journal headquarters are on edge. Fearmongering company email, below.

After a long period of speculation, incompetent NBC Universal CEO Jeff Zucker finally announced today that he'll be leaving once Comcast's takeover of NBC is complete. He won't be missed. He'll be running for office soon. Mawkish goodbye memo, below.

This morning, Scott Jones, the TV blogger who broke the news of Jay Leno's return to the Tonight Show, reported that CNN president Jon Klein will "be fired" today. Well—he just forwarded us Klein's farewell memo. It's below. [UPDATED]

David Westin is resigning from his position as president of ABC News, which he's held since 1997, apparently because of a "long-running conflict... over the financial standing of the news division." Of course! Want to read his resignation note?

Fresh from a farewell dinner for departing New York Times public editor Clark Hoyt, the paper's standards editor, Phil Corbett, issued a memo to the newsroom yesterday on that perpetually controversial issue: use of anonymous sources. Full memo below.

The story: A Paramount exec sent an email to a coworker, it was intercepted by Sharon Waxman's Nikke Finke voodoo doll The Wrap, and now everyone has it. Basically it lays out their upcoming slate of movies, and it's bleak.

A CNN employee has just forwarded us an alarming email that she and her colleagues received informing them that bedbugs have infested the Time Warner Center. Will they bring down America's largest media company, from the inside? Yes. Memo below!

A memo just went out to NYDN employees announcing that CEO Marc Kramer is being replaced by William Holiber, who also runs U.S. News and World Report. The full memo is below.

According to an internal memo, JetBlue hates hero flight attendant Steven Slater for being awesome. But Steven Slater still wants to work for them. How does Slater not realize that this is never, ever going to happen?

The memos of CEO Edward Davis: "There will be no more... levity... within the office."

Crikey! Ragin' media bandicoot Rupert Murdoch, owner of News Corp., would like his slaves/employees to know that, despite it being languid, lazy summer, he doesn't want anyone taking a relaxed attitude toward work. He's watching, don't you know? Memo below.