• Time for another Fake Writer to emerge... How about Dan Brown, the far-too-rich author of The Da Vinci code? Two London writers are suing Random House over allegations that Brown's novel lifts key elements from their 1982 book — just in time for the movie, no less. [MSNBC]
• A tip of the hat to pop star George Michael, who was arrested in London this weekend after authorities found him parked outside of Hyde Park, high as a kite. Oh, how far we fall from the halcyon days of bathroom masturbation. [Rolling Stone]
• More on Caligula and the awesome perv behind it all. [Artforum]
• Malcolm Gladwell blogs, signifying the medium's tipping point (ba-dum-dum). [Gladwell]
• Artist Neil Goldberg captured the expressions on subway-riding New Yorkers' faces at the exact moment when they realized they'd missed the train. It's depressing enough to make you stick to cabs. [Encyclopedia Hanasiana]
• Speaking of which, Melissa Plaut — the voice behind the delightful cab-driver blog New York Hack — gets her big coming out party in the Washington Post. Not too shabby. [WaPo]

We've seen gay porn with less man-on-man action.

According to a handy press release we just got from the well-heeled folks at Conde Nast, the March issue of Vogue Espa ol is setting a record as the biggest issue of Vogue ever published in the world, coming in at 1,006 pages. Oh, how the rainforests weep...

Last Friday, we published a rumor that absurdist rocker Pete Doherty — the smack-drinking ex-boyfriend of supermodel Kate Moss — was really not a crackhead at all, but rather a an organized hoax to point out how easily the media focuses on any given trainwreck. As it turns out, the hoax is a hoax. The faux Doherty story was wishful thinking on behalf of some crack-hating crusader, who concocted the detailed scenario as part of some bizarre competition called HateQuest.

There's a little rumor quietly floating around the internets right now — something completely unconfirmed, unsourced, and uncorroborated. Which means it's totally interesting, of course. According to, well, we don't even know, professional crackhead, rocker, and erstwhile Kate Moss-lover Pete Doherty is a fraud. We've no idea who penned the following article, but we're seeing it reprinted on various sites, so we figured we'd help spread the bullshit:

Since we know most of you are globe-trotting fashionistas who will go to great lengths compete for cash prizes, we've got some news for you:

By the time we learned of Paris Hilton getting flour dumped on her by the folks from PETA, who hit London's Fashion Week for some more anti-fur circus tricks, we were far too exhausted to put any real effort into finding pictures of the incident. Thankfully, lovely bloggers do our work for us:

Burnt Danish? Great. Now breakfast is ruined, too.

We like it when our op-edsters climb down from their inky pedestals and mix things up a bit. Which is why it's always a happy day at Gawker HQ when Nick Kristof decides to spend his 750 words taunting Bill O'Reilly about the Fox News blowhard's unwilling to bloviate about real problems instead of imagined ones. Kristof wants O'Reilly to travel to Darfur with him, and today's trash-talking is even more fun that the usual:

• Kate Moss continues her reign of post-rehab high-fashion supremacy by snagging the cover of British Vogue's March issue. She'll pose in a "delicate" white dress against a pink background, because she's innocent like snowdrifts and flushed cheeks. [TMZ]
• Did Sienna Miller bang Jude Law just to further her own career? Considering we'd never heard of her before she starting dating the ballerina man, we'd say so. [Page Six]
• Naomi Campbell will play Satan in an upcoming film. How's that for typecasting? [Contact Music]
• We think Sharon Stone is getting a little old for the orgy scenes. Your dad, however, disagrees. [R&M]
• We also think Patrick Stewart is getting way too old for the action scenes. Your grandmother, however, disagrees. [Lowdown]

• Most recently in the ongoing saga of Lindsay Lohan's battle with retardation, the starlet reportedly slipped on some stairs while carrying a ceramic teacup, which shattered and cut her leg. Interestingly enough, this all went down at Bryan Adams' house. WTF? Is her next asthma attack going to be at Richard Marx's pool party? [CNN]
• More on Kate Moss' grilling with Scotland Yard: She wore black pants! [R&M]
• Shame on you, Lloyd Grove! "Dance: Ten; Looks: Three" is NOT, as you say, a Sondheim classic. If you want to survive in this town, you better fag it up and learn that that A Chorus Line is the work of Marvin Hamlisch. [Lowdown]
• British socialite and Jimmy Choo designer Tamara Mellon hooks up with Kid Rock, though we're not sure how her stilettos will go over during Michigan's hunting season. [Page Six]
• Jodie Sweetin, meth, blah blah blah. What ever happened to predictability? [GMA]

We can only imagine how this "meeting" went: slack-jawed detectives briefly drool over a beautifully distant, scantily clad Moss. They ask her a few quick questions ("So, what's it like being a model? Have you met Naomi Campbell?"), to which she bats her eyelashes and giggles. Before the cocaine issue is even addressed, Moss politely explains that she needs to go (she's late for lunch with Lindsay Lohan, sir, she's sure you understand) and the detectives agree to send her on her way — but only after she gives them her autograph, which they then take to the bathroom for more "investigation."

A front-page Times headline today:

Really, it's not even so much the suicide bombings and the river-to-the-sea and the death-to-the-infidels and all that. When you get down it, it's simply: These people wear three different clashing plaids?

The very small type in our Filofax — yes, we're that old-fashioned — tells us that today is Australia Day.

Who knew so many of you speak Swedish? After something like 472 emails, we have a pretty good handle on what our boy Freddy was saying in his gay Swedish personal. First, and most important, sambo there apparently means something very different than sambo here. (In Sweden, it seems, it means living together.) Here's the full translation, from one emailer:

So what happens when you've been thoroughly trounced for mayor of New York City? If we didn't know better, we'd think that vanquished Democrat Fernando Ferrer has taken his moustache and moved to Sweden. We speak no Swedish, but, if we're interpreting correctly, it certainly seems that the dashing photo at right is in some sort of Saab-loving singles ad. (The pic — of one "Fernando Ferrer" — took up nearly a full page of QX, Sweden's leading gay monthly.) Ferrer's full blurb is below, and we bet it'd be truly hilarious if we understood what it meant.

But that's just what they'll do, doc. One of these days those lips are gonna exhale all over you.

• Colin Farrell's lawyer's beat up on poor little Jossip, but Jossip lives to tale the tale. [Jossip]
• Which is not to say Farrell's lawyers have caught up with all the cock pix quite yet. [Totally Joshness]
• Freygate forces Oprah to make a drastic move with her Book Club. [Storms Illustration via Emdashes]
• Naturally, the one time the English and the Germans successfully cooperate on something, it's a hideous line-dancing song you haven't been able to forget nearly a decade later. [Silver Jacket]
• Just in: Scientists have identified the four ur-Jewish mothers, from whom 40 percent of all Ashkenazim are descended. Reply the mothers, "What, so now you finally decide to write?" [Reuters via Yahoo!]
• We can't relieve believe we're mentioning this, but, as what's apparently Diabetes Appreciation Week continues, you can finally get away from the pictures of unfortunate, obese, poor people the Times has been foisting on us all and instead tune into CNBC Sunday night as — we kid you not — Poison's Bret Michaels "talks candidly about partying with diabetes." [dLife]

Being young and (more or less) healthy, and with parents who are reasonably young and reasonably healthy, we confess we know rather little about the vagaries of geriatric medicine. But, still, we have to wonder: Even without the patient remaining in a coma a week and a half later, when an obese 77-year-old has massive stroke and several subsequent surgeries, is that something doctors are typically unconcerned about?