The future architects of America's imperial decline, Harvard kids, came together for a good old-fashioned foam party last weekend. They tried. But these things aren't easy.

This is a story about gay porn star Brent Corrigan and how Yale canceled his speaking engagement. If you don't want to read about gay porn stars or precious campus activists or Yale, stop reading now. Ha, thought you did!

A sad day in the history of free love: Yale has formally banned faculty members from having sex with undergrads. Well, what the fuck is the point of teaching at Yale now? "Harold Bloom joke." [Typical Yale pic via]

Oh neato, the Daily Princetonian has interviewed a bunch of Princeton kids who are going into investment banking. Marvel at the wide variety of lies they tell about their motivations!

Gaining a reputation for producing silly and misguided student videos, Yale has released another smash hit! This one is for the sorority Pi Phi, which attracts potential rushers with promises of fun activities, intellectual rigor, and people thinking you're pretty.

So: E!'s running this story today about Justin Timberlake accepting Harvard's Man of the Year award—called the Hasty Pudding award, apparently—and it appears to be part of some joyously homoerotic Ivy League ritual of fun. It looks awesome.

Yale's endowment has recently plummeted to a marginally less insane multiple of billions of dollars. In addition to layoffs and salary freezes, the nobles of New Haven may soon find themselves subjected to an agonizing bout of extreme survival training.

Interested in going to Yale? Would you be more interested if some people sang and danced for your pleasure? The school's admissions department sure seems to hope so, if their "That Why I Chose Yale" recruitment video is any indication.

Goodbye, mystique: A totem collector is auctioning off a magic skull/ stash box that once belonged to Yale's planet-controlling secret society Skull "n" Bones. Plus, "a black book with names and photographs of earlier members." Nick Denton, bid now! [AP]

Meg Whitman's sons, Griff and Will Harsh, have been kicked out of prep schools, an eating club, dormitories, and Princeton's class of 2008, say people who know them. One incident involving the n-word is already internet famous.

A defacto bodyguard lived at Princeton with Griff Harsh to assuage the kidnapping fears of his mom, California gubernatorial candidate Meg Whitman, according to a longtime Gawker commenter close to the university. And the rich kid's suspension? Probably academic.

California gubernatorial candidate and tempestuous eBay billionaire Meg Whitman doesn't use her kids on the trail. Is it because she respects her Ivy League sons' privacy, or because at least one of them is a liability?

A Yale freshman who called himself the Dauphin is believed to have terrorized his peers with death threats, ritualistic vandalism, and a hit and run accident. Among his rumored loot: Secret society video footage, which has since surfaced on YouTube.

A precocious high school student: upset, and writing into the Times! On college tours of schools like Harvard and Dartmouth, she heard comparisons to Harry Potter's magical school, Hogwarts. And she didn't like it. And people don't like her. Muggles!

A group of disgruntled staffers at heralded Harvard rag The Crimson said good-bye to the outgoing leadership with a group email that includes the phrases "epically unpopular," "forever-flaccid penis," and "group-fisting."

An appeals court ruled that Columbia University can't use eminent domain to grab property it wants for its expansion just by calling its neighborhood "blighted." The judges pointed out: Columbia is so freaking shady.

The Harvard-Yale game's a storied tradition for Ivy League grads who enjoy comparing degree sizes/names. For everyone else, it's an opportunity to watch America's Prestigious Ivy Grads try to act like normal football fans, which they can't. So: what happened?!

It took a punch to the face to make newspapers edgy again. Could a drunken punch to the face (of a woman), after an argument about racism, make the Ivy League edgy, too? One Columbia prof is testing that theory!

Somebody tried to kill a bunch of lab workers at Harvard Medical School two months ago, with deadly poison. This is just coming out now, because Harvard does not want you to know about its deadly coffee machines.

Oh oh oh, merry Christmas, it's a semi-credulous story in the New York Times about Harvard students and deprivation. Our nation's greatest treasures (Harvard students) are quite literally going to die, from poverty!