Say hello to Cassius Marcellus Cornelius Clay, a Yale sophomore whose life changed at Barneys one day, when fashionable rapper Kanye West complimented him on his shoes and, eventually, invited the lad to travel the world as Kanye's right-hand man.
About an hour ago a tip came in featuring the following subject line: "Jessica Alba Visits Yale Secret Society, Pictures Leaked!" Whoa! The "Wolf's Head Society?!" Oh hell yes! Let's take a look, shall we?
This is Matthew DiPasquale. He scored fives on ten separate AP exams. "Five" may also quantify his penis somehow, you can decide for yourself because Matthew DiPasquale was born in the second half of the eighties and so he quite understandably just founded a Harvard porn magazine whose virgin issue contains naked pictures only of himself, an endeavor whose only conceivable purpose have been to solicit the snarky derision of people who have given up trying to understand the credit crisis. So here you go, just-safe-enough-for-work photos of your newest seeker of microfame after the jump. "Micro" may also quantify his penis somehow.
Many of us have in our days taken issue with feminism. (No no no not the idea of it, silly, just like some of the "dogmas" and "pieties" and all those crazy ladies planning to vote take back abortion rights from their daughters as punishment for falling in love with that charismatic black man.) Anyhow as crazy as those women are they do not hold a aromatherapeutic incense stick to batshit barrister Roy Hollander. He is suing Columbia, where he attended business school, for having a women's studies department, and also waging multipronged legal wars with Ladies Nights, and his Chechen ex-stripper wife and because the God of Baffling Internet Misogyny is a generous god he granted an interview to Maureen O'Connor, a young female correspondent at Ivy Gate. Did he mention he prefers women in their teens and early twenties? Why yes he did! That's why he usually lies about his age. Here is their most charming interaction, which I would not be posting at this hour if it were not TOTALLY hilarious. [And also, if you are reading Nick, involving a shrewd future member of the Ivy League media mafia!]
Slate political reporter and IvyGate founder Chris Beam is going to appear on "The Colbert Report" tonight! He emailed all his friends! He's so excited to be crossing that picket line. Scab. (Email after the jump!)
Woman down! Columbia's hunger strike is one less strong, after Barnard student Aretha Choi collapsed in the library Saturday on the fourth day of the student protest against something or other. It seems Choi isn't new to this particular form of protest—the one-time Phillips Andover student spoke to Asian-American women's magazine Audrey for an April story this year about her longtime struggle with anorexia. This poor girl needs to make some new friends, stat, because the ones she's got didn't seem too concerned about her participation in the five-student strike. (IvyGate, which posted an item about Choi yesterday, seems to have pulled it today.)
Get ready for thing number 400 billion that makes you think, "Hmm, I am always reading articles about how insanely difficult it is to get into Ivy League colleges, so why am I also always reading articles about how the people who actually attend these colleges are dumber than a box of hair?" Well, we wish we had an answer for you, but instead we have these quotes from Alexsey Vanyer-level douche Harrison Schaen, a Princeton junior who's just founded a magazine that's a little GQ, a little Rolling Stone, and a lot delusional privileged fucktard.
