About an hour ago a tip came in featuring the following subject line: "Jessica Alba Visits Yale Secret Society, Pictures Leaked!" Whoa! The "Wolf's Head Society?!" Oh hell yes! Let's take a look, shall we?

Wait a minute? What the hell is going on here? This is a "secret society" meeting at Yale?! Shouldn't Jessica be getting Eiffel-towered in a pool of goat's blood by dudes wearing Venetian masks or something? What kind of lame-ass "secret society" is this anyway? This looks more like a meeting of the Applewood Magnet High student council at the library than it does a meeting of any sort of "secret society." Dear God does Yale f-ing blow, as does the Ivy League in general, if this is their idea of a "secret society" meeting. Is it any wonder that the presidency of George W. Bush was such an abortion? Bush was a member of the Yale "Skull and Bones" secret society. Maybe if he had experienced a real "secret society" in his youth, the guy wouldn't have sucked so hard.

Seriously, how pathetically lame is this? And to think that all of you Ivy snobs were crying about how disgraceful it was for Obama to be speaking at a public school (Oh, the horror!) like Arizona State's graduation ceremony, instead of say, Dartmouth, or Brown. Say what you want about the twats at Arizona State, and they are twats, glorious, smelly, gaping twats, but I can guarantee you one thing—-If they were to conduct any sort of secret society meeting at that school, they'd do it right and have torches burning, the chantings of Gregorian monks blasting though the sound system, mounds of cocaine laying around all over the place, at least one farm animal being slayed, and people having sex all over the place, dirty, filthy, hedonistic, unprotected orgy sex, because that's how you do "secret society" meetings in the real world, assholes!

I saw Eyes Wide Shut, dammit!

Jessica Alba Visits Yale Secret Society, Members Panic and Leak Pictures from Inside the Hall [IvyGate]