When Canadian pop star Justin Bieber isn't calling for the imprisonment of U.S. senators with whom he disagrees on the finer points of copyright law, he occasionally releases music. Like his new Christmas album, Mistletoe, which Bieber promoted on The Tonight Show on Monday, an appearance that mostly consisted of the teen idol uttering the word "like" again and again and again. Don't believe us? Watch the video and see for yourself.

The first lady let it slip in a recent interview that the president doesn't want the Obama girls tuning into Keeping Up With the Kardashians. So what is it about the show (well, besides everything) that bothers him so much? Jay Leno tried delving into the president's anti-Kardashian position on Tuesday's Tonight Show, but beyond admitting that he's never even seen the show, Obama wisely avoided any remarks that could have risked alienating the Kardashian voter base.

When she's not contributing to childhood obesity on the Food Network, Paula Deen can be found frequenting the late-night talk show circuit. This evening, Deen paid a visit to the set of the Tonight Show to teach Jay Leno how to make some sort of zombie hamburger-meatloaf hybrid. But mostly she just chuckled, as you'll see in this video.

So, like, Kim Kardashian and her husband Kris Humphries were totally on The Tonight Show this evening and, like, they were sitting there and stuff and then Jay Leno asked Kim about things Kris does that, like, annoy her and she was all "He totally barks like a dog!" So then Kris goes, "Nuh-uh" and she was all "Um, yeah," and then we all shook our heads in collective shame for allowing these people to become famous.

A year plus after the whole late night kerfuffle, everyone's back to not caring at all about late night. During this past premiere week (when all the shows are new and sparkly) both Jay Leno and David Letterman's ratings bombed.

Ahead of Wednesday's premiere of The X Factor, Simon Cowell is in full promotional mode. Tonight's PR pit stop brought Cowell to The Tonight Show, where he shared some brutally honest opinions of his three X Factor co-judges to Jay Leno.

You know how Jay Leno's lips are always firmly planted on his guest's behind, no matter who it is? How publicists enamored with Leno's softball predictability are always eager to book their clients on The Tonight Show? And how Leno rarely, if ever, challenges the answers a guest provides to the questions he asks? Well, that changed on Friday night. How so? Two words: Michele Bachmann.

We haven't seen much of Charlie Sheen since earlier this year—when we didn't see much that wasn't Charlie Sheen—but the former Two and a Half Men star stopped by The Tonight Show on Thursday ahead of next Monday's airing of his Comedy Central roast.

Face down, ass up and armed with two big fists on Tuesday's Tonight Show, self-described "wrecking machine" Ellen DeGeneres revealed—and then demonstrated—exactly how she likes to do it as Jay Leno leered over her, stroking his big, long chin in anticipation of... wait, what? Ew, you sicko, I'm talking about push-ups! Now get your mind out of the gutter and watch the video.

Roseanne Barr has a new TV show to promote (it's called Roseanne's Nuts and it airs on Lifetime, apparently), so tonight when she visited the The Tonight Show, she went for broke and announced to Jay Leno that she plans to run for president. Yes, as in President of the United States. Is that more or less ridiculous that the idea of Kelsey Grammer running for the nation's highest office? Hard to say, but you can watch the faded sitcom star try and explain her platform to Jay Leno above.

Rihanna's concert in Dallas burst into flames! David Letterman's set was broken in to by a vandal! Some women didn't recognize Kellan Lutz! The Royals met Jack Black! Sunday gossip is filled with stories of doom and disaster!

Selena Gomez is in the hospital with "nausea and a severe headache." Tina Fey is in damage control over Tracy Morgan's homophobic rant. And Russell Crowe has some opinions about penises. Saturday gossip won't be marching in the Puerto Rican Day parade.

Did you know that it's Jay Leno's birthday? David Letterman did, and on tonight's Late Show he used that fact as an opportunity to remind the world once again that he despises Leno. We get it, Dave, we get it.

After she was slapped with a 120-day jail sentence last week (of which she served a whole five hours), Lindsay Lohan attempted to do some damage control this evening with an appearance on The Tonight Show.

If there's a word to describe Gary Busey, "normal" is definitely not one of them. Case in point: Busey's interview with Jay Leno on this evening's Tonight Show, which was chock-full of insane moments. Here they are in one handy video!

Last August, when Brian Williams visited David Letterman on the Late Show, Letterman expressed his concern over Williams' plans to do The Tonight Show. Tonight, in a cranky/endearing way, Letterman blasted Williams for appearing on "the goddamn Leno show."

Lady Gaga visited The Tonight Show this evening for an eye-opening interview about everything from the Grammys to Valentine's Day. When Jay Leno brought up the "Born This Way"/"Express Yourself" controversy, Gaga set the record straight.

Where does one go after a career spent writing jokes for Jay Leno? One goes to Omaha. To write a humor column in the Omaha World-Herald. A column called "Breaking Brad." Ladies and gentlemen: meet Brad Dickson.

Apparently, Rob Lowe's had a "thing for older women" ever since he starred in the pilot for 1981 show Mean Jeans. The show never saw the light of day, which we should probably be thankful for.

Javier Bardem lives in Los Angeles, but doesn't drive. More interestingly, he notes that it's akin to "living on the moon, and being afraid of aliens. They are everywhere." He has clearly never taken Astronomy.