Shawn Carter is an indefatigable entrepreneur, restaurateur/club owner, part-owner of the Nets, and, of course, one of the biggest-selling rappers in hip-hop history. His wife is Beyoncé, but you probably already knew that.

What a week! On my first trip to Vegas and the Consumer Electronics Show, I survived harassment by bulldog aficionado Jason Calacanis, discovered that HP adman Jay-Z uses a Mac, and laughed at Richard Blakeley's TV-B-Gone prank. Now we hear that he's been banned from the show. It could be worse. He could be behind bars...

Jay-Z and girlfriend Beyonce seem to be Apple fans. No surprise there: Plenty of musicians use Macs. What is surprising? Jay-Z was in one of those Hewlett-Packard "hand" ads last year touting HP laptops. At least Tiger Woods actually wears Nike. Catch the ad after the jump.

Last night we ate at the Spotted Pig, which is a restaurant some famous people own where some famous people go. When we went, some famous people were there! Also, a ton of lame-seeming frat boys. Our residency lasted from 11:15 to 1:30 and during that time, we saw Jay Z and Beyoncé scurry from the second floor (hoi polloi) to the third floor (Empyrean Heaven). Jigga is an investor and looks like a suave African-American André The Giant, though our perception might have been altered since we were sitting on those tiny stools they have there.

Successful rap producer Jermaine Dupri probably didn't win any friends for his Huffington Post entry defending Jay-Z's decision to sell his new album American Gangster online only as a full album. Dupri may not be a polished spokesperson, and no one wants to hear, "Why do people not care how we — the people who make music — eat?" Not when it comes from someone tied as the sixteenth wealthiest hip-hop mogul. Or when that person also gets to sleep with Janet Jackson. But — I can't believe I'm saying this — Dupri is right. Of course, artists should have the right to determine how their creations are packaged. In admitting that it's about money, too, he's just being honest. Music is a business. It's about coming to mutually agreeable terms with the customer, not catering to his every whim. Even Steve Jobs lets musicians sell songs on Apple's iTunes in album-only packages. Ultimately, if consumers really have a problem with the way they do business, the artists will fail. That's their right, too.

Page Six, on Jay-Z: "An industry insider says, 'He is scrambling - the first single, "Black Magic," isn't being played on radio. It's the first time in his career he's not doing well.'" Sad! Maybe the insider should try listening for Jay-Z's actual new single "Blue Magic" though. [NYP]

• Remember a time when you would have been excited to see a picture of Britney Spears' naked boob? Us neither, really. [Egotastic]
  

Hey, so the Vanity Fair Africa issue hit newsstands today! Guest-edited by Bono! We rushed out to get our copy and brought it to the office where we realized that, you know, we're kind of shallow. Isn't Africa kind of last fall? We don't have the attention spans for that stuff. You know what we do care about, though? Celebrities! And with twenty different celebrity-studded covers, the magazine kept up involved for a good five minutes looking at the Annie Leibovitz compositions. Each one blends one subject from the previous cover, so you've got your Don Cheadle and Barack Obama giving way to Barack and Muhammad Ali. Here's a handy guide to who you'll want to look for at the newsstand.

• HuffPo planet-lover Laurie David apparently could not take any more of Larry David's wacky antics. (Tardy! We divorced him last season.) [Page 6]
  

Last night MoMA threw its annual Party in the Garden, a black-tie dinner-dance -whatever amongst Picassos, Serras and a very, very open bar. Inside, the real high rollers (tables of 10 between $20-100,000) Mayor Bloomberg and others honored Marty Scorsese and washed down their veal milanese with a 2006 Malbec. Outside, there was chaos. Towers of strawberries and armies of petits fours were decimated by throngs of socialites and rich men. But the rococo dessert confections seemed almost austere against the silk brocades, jewels and cleavage of the "young (nubile) friends of the garden." As the night progressed, and Jay-Z appeared, the event began to resemble a bar mitzvah, but with more blacks and gays. We sent twinkletoes Joshua David Stein and homewrecker Richard Blakeley to document. [Ed Note: But apparently they just got drunk. Sigh.] —Twinkletoes

TMZ is reporting that "rumors have been swirling" all morning that Jay-Z was in a plane crash in the Smoky Mountains. All they're able to confirm from the FAA is that a four-seat propeller plane went down this morning, and that:

TMZ briefly threw a scare into the celebrity media by reporting a rumor that Jay-Z (or "rapresario," in the parlance of our TMZ times) might have maybe possibly perished in a plane crash:

Every once in a while, we read something magnificent and we feel stunned. As if someone has lit our hat on fire, or punched us between the eyes. Sure, sometimes we like a thing, but sometimes it's more serious. This is one of those times. So forget, for a second, about questions of weekend geistiness and open your hearts to a blog that transcends our moment, and achieves, who knows how, a level of unparalleled virtuosity.

It's not just Diddy who is responsible for doggy death: according to the Humane Society and TMZ, Hova is also guilty of using the fur of Chinese raccoon dogs to trim jackets. The Rocawear coat, like the Sean John coat that was pulled from Macy's shelves in November, is labeled as "faux" fur. We suppose Jigga should have probably listened to his own advice when it comes to Chinese bitches: they do keep bootleggin your shit. (Hey, the "and a bitch IS one" joke was taken, okay?)

Back in early summer, the managing director of Cristal champagne expressed his disdain for his brand's iconic status amongst hip-hop stars. This prompted rapster Jay-Z to boycott Cristal in his lyrics, clubs, and bloodstream. Unfortunately, this left a gaping void in the alcoholic blingosphere, which Jay-Z has attempted to fill in his most recent video — he rejects a bottle of Cristal in favor of Armand de Brignac, a heretofore unheard-of niche brand of luxury champagne. Most news outlets dutifully passed on the press release, noting how Armand de Brignac has been produced for "centuries" and is only now being imported stateside after enjoying success in France. Charming story; too bad it's all bullshit.

Exclusive: Jay-Z at the United Nations [We Don't Smell]

As a sign of solidarity with Hova, new Observer owner Jared Kushner has released the following statement:

• Try and follow: At an impromptu Prince performance at Butter, Lindsay Lohan follows her mortal enemy Paris Hilton into the bathroom. They have a big fight, because bathroom activities make you edgy and angry. Lohan returns to the main room to find Diddy sitting at her table, and jokingly asks what he's doing there. Diddy doesn't see the humor and yells at her to get out. There's a scuffle with his bodyguards, and Lohan is removed from the table. Later, at Bungalow 8, Lohan and Hilton sit at separate tables and compete to see who can stay at the club the longest. This item has been brought to you by D.A.R.E. [R&M]
• After having Cristal removed from his 40/40 clubs, Jay-Z continues his revenge on the champagne company, whose executives don't exactly love the hip-hop community's loyalty to the brand. At his performance on Sunday, Jigga will change the lyrics in his many songs that mention Cristal. Keep an eye out for creative pronunciations of "pistol." [Page Six]
• Incoming Today show host Meredith Vieira deems Dan Rather's ill-executed exit from CBS as "tacky." She's talking to you, Katie. [Lowdown]
• 75-year-old Robert Evans tallies up his seventh divorce. If he can stay alive long enough, maybe the eight marriage will be the charm. [MSNBC]
• Nicole Kidman may move to Keith Urban's rural Tennessee home, where she'll be free to get pregnant without fear of divorce. [Fox411]
• Because in the end, gay means quality, Superman gets decent reviews. [IMDb]

• Completely unsubstantiated but nonetheless interesting: Are Jay-Z and Beyonce officially over? Does Jigga prefer the less-bootylicious Rihanna? Will Beyonce's dad resolve the issue with a shotgun? [Social Rank]
• Like an udder on a thick-lipped cow, Anderson Cooper milks his interview with Angelina Jolie, airing tomorrow night. He clarifies that People's $4 million Shiloh fee did not include a guarantee that he'd get first interview; rather, Jolie picked the Coop because she knew he wouldn't try to do her. [360 Blog]
• It's Christmas in June: Danny Meyer's ShackCam goes live! Updated every 5 seconds, it's the ultimate tool in planning your meal schedule. May it bring all of Manhattan together and working towards organizing dining, so as to forevermore avoid intolerable lines. [Eater]
• One of Brooklyn's beloved Jonathans writes an open, overwrought letter to Frank Gehry; if all the Jonathans would combine their powers, they could create a Super Letter, so strung-out that not even the most hardened developer could look away. [Slate
• What if Brokedown Palace involved a pair of jeans? [Wired]
• You can now purchase a clear cube full of authentic NYC garbage. Just goes to show that if you package a turd properly, someone will buy it. [NYC Garbage]
• GMA kisses Prince's boots, builds him a fortress. [OAN]
• Edward Champion ups the Okrent cocksucking metaphor to slightly uncomfortable, albeit satirical, levels. [EdRants]
• Performance art on a Monday morning is simply unacceptable. [Animal]
• Crackheadz Gone Wild: New York features raw, uncensored footage of local drug addicts on spring break, going crazy for Mardi Gras beads. [Metro]

• Supermodel Naomi Campbell puts her 6-bedroom Park Avenue condo on the block for $5.25 million. Blood-stained BlackBerry and frightened housekeepers not included. As to where she's moving to — isn't Dubai more relaxed about beating your underlings? [Page Six]
• Jay-Z does his best George Clooney imitation and considers building a 40/40 Casino in Las Vegas. [R&M]
• Brett Ratner's X-Men: The Last Stand breaks Memorial Day box office records, and he manages to feign humility. [Lowdown]
• An invitation from Britney Spears and Kevin Federline's wedding is now on eBay for $999.99 — because irony is expensive. [TMZ]
• Despite the general public having 24 hours to do something about the travesty, Anna Nicole Smith remains pregnant. [People]