Ashton Kutcher's cheating scandal spirals into group hot tub nudism. Johnny Depp says being photographed "feels like you're being raped." Puff Daddy gets into a nightclub shouting match. Lindsay Lohan forgets her bra. Tuesday gossip promises to repeat.
As most of the country melts under the Heat Dome (screw you, Seattle), the best thing to do to beat the heat is head to the multiplex and sit in the arctic AC for a while. To entertain you this week we have a superhero, a super couple, and a supernatural tale of woe.
Matt Damon speaks for Brangelina. Brangelina feed their children crickets. Chris Brown parks in a handicap spot. Leo's mother advises against Blake Lively. Timberlake pulls a diva move. Wednesday gossip fights for its rights.
Steven Tyler tried gay sex "but just didn't dig it." Rick Springfield curses out a cop. Pippa Middleton reunites with an ex. Rihanna follows Chris Brown. Monday gossip explores its sexuality.
Jesse James is still around. Nicollette Sheridan is still really upset about being fired from Desperate Housewives. David Arquette has "clean" hands. And Rupert Murdoch paid Sienna Miller for hacking her phone. Saturday gossip is all about payback.
Michael makes his Godfather pitch to Jim and Pam, and surprise! They've already picked a couple. Either Michael is mellowing out, or Pam is getting way better at keeping him under control. Check out the scene.
Tonight's episode was a spooktacular (sorry) jaunt through the corridors of Dunder Mifflin, and every character, save Jim, had a clever outfit. Damn you Jim. We also had some deliciously classic awkwardness with Pam and Danny.
Jim and Pam are looking for a closer Day Care, so enter Dwight, the new building owner, who might just help them out. Who wouldn't want to leave their child with Mose?
Another fall comes filled with the delights of the Dunder-Mifflin Conference Room, where Michael has to explain why his lazy nephew gets to keep working in the building. Click through for video.
• It looks like Tiger Woods' wife has had enough. Elin Nordegren moved out of the couple's Florida home yesterday and is staying at another home nearby. It doesn't look like she's planning to come back. Swedish news outlets are reporting that she paid $2.3 million to buy a house in in Sweden last week. [Radar, NYDN, NYP]
• Another 911 call was received from Tiger Woods' house last night. It's still unclear what happened, but an ambulance transported a middle-aged woman to the hospital and a "blonde woman" reportedly followed behind in an Escalade. One possibility is that it was Elin Nordegren's mom, who flew to the U.S. last week to be with her daughter. [TMZ, Radar]
• Yet another Woods mistress may be getting ready to come forward. And this one's claiming she has cell phone photos of Tiger's nether regions. Playgirl says it's is in the process of "authenticating" the pics to make sure it's him. How it plans to do that is unclear, although there are nine women (and counting) who should be able to help, presumably. [Us]
• Uma Thurman and fiancé Arki Busson have called it quits. And Bernie Madoff may be partly to blame. The Swiss financier reportedly lost a bundle investing with Madoff, and that may have put a strain on the relationship. [NYP]
The Office is one of those shows where you get jealous of the fun they seem to be having with each other on set, and tonight's cold open lip-dub was a perfect example.
• Mariah Carey, Stevie Wonder, Usher, Lionel Richie, Queen Latifah, Jennifer Hudson, John Mayer, and a truck full of elephants (left) will all on hand for the Michael Jackson's memorial service in LA later today. Debbie Rowe and Elizabeth Taylor will not be there, however. [Reuters, NYDN, People, Us]
• Several ladies from the Real Housewives of New York are demanding more cash before signing up for another season of the show. In addition to "six-figure deals," they're asking for clothing, hair and makeup allowances and "a promised amount of screen time." You're shocked by this, we're sure. [NYDN]
• In other Housewives news, it looks like LuAnn de Lesseps may be reuniting with her estranged husband, and Bethenny Frankel is engaged. [P6, Us]
20/20 co-anchor John Stossel turns 62 today, which means that mustache of his has been planted on his face for close to four decades now. Comedian and recently-axed CNN host D.L. Hughley is turning 46. New York Philharmonic director Lorin Maazel is 79. Adolfo Carrion, Barack Obama's new director of the White House Office of Urban Affairs, is 48. Composer Stephen Schwartz is turning 61. Film director/producer Rob Reiner is 62. Disgraced Wall Streeter Ivan Boesky is 72. Gabriel García Márquez is 82. Shaquille O'Neal is turning 37. Tom Arnold is 50. And a hospitalized Ed McMahon turns 86 today. Weekend birthdays below!
Our country is self-destructing before our very eyes. Banks are collapsing, wars are raging, politicians are canceling their appearances on Letterman, but at least we can still rely on true love. That’s right, on last night’s hour-long season premiere of The Office, we finally got the satisfaction of seeing ... um, well, something that can only be described as an epic spoiler. Fans of The Office who dutifully tuned into NBC last night, please follow along after the jump to continue the conversation. Those of you who DVR'd it, well, you might want to continue along to another post.Where were we? Ah yes, we finally got to see ... Jim pop the question to Pam! And don’t let the fact that it happened on a dingy highway rest stop in the middle of a rainstorm fool you, it was totes romantic. Not quite as romantic as that Tim and Dawn kiss from the original British Office Christmas Special, but still, pretty good. Get your Kleenex ready and check it out.
Even though it dare not yet speak its name, we already know that NBC will try to spin-off former midseason replacement The Office, which aired the second new episode of its interrupted fourth season last night. What we don't know is who, if any, of the original cast members will be moving to the new venture. Executive producer Greg Daniels has already said that Dwight "I'm Not Going To Call Her" Schrute won't be coming along, and Steve Carrell seems sure to stay put as well. There is the possibility that they could create an entirely new group of characters since the show's comic formula is so solid, but why not take a chance with two co-workers whose journey seems to have reached an end? Letting two of the show's most popular figures leave the show would be a big risk, but stay with me here. What more can Jim and Pam accomplish in Scranton when even Michael has to ask, "Is that still going on?" Greg Daniels, if you really love Jim and Pam, set them free. If they come back, it's because the original show foundered without them. My reasoning after the jump.
While many bright-eyed actresses with big dreams will hit the casting couch circuit in an attempt to land their first break, Jenna Fischer wasn't willing to give it up after an entire year spent pounding the Los Angeles pavement. But now that she's a big star, she understandably has some choice words for the screenwriter who, a few years back, gave her shit for refusing to drop trou for him. In an interview with Playboy, Jenna tells a story about what happened after she ran into Halloween 5 screenwriter Shem Bitterman at a party one year into her move-west-and-act life plan. Apparently, her non-interest in starring in a "like, really raunchy" new film of his spurred the scribe to claim she was clearly "not a real actress." And while the old Jenna did nothing but go home and cry her newbie eyes out, the emboldened Office star has this to say to the Bitterman today:
With Father Time currently in lockdown after being picked up over the weekend for a parole-violating DUI, and the tragic discovery of the New Year's baby in a dumpster behind Bar Lubitsch (besides a crushed top hat and filthy sash, doing just fine), it seems as if the countdown to 2008 comes under less than ideal circumstances. Still, you can't stop the march of progress, and nowhere is that more apparent than in the weekend box office numbers:
