It's always nerve-wracking having company over. Is the house clean enough? Will we have enough food? When will they get here? Will they show at all? Like a good party, it's going to be a blast watching Jersey Shore together.
The first season of a reality show is the only "pure" season. Now that the eight cast members have achieved fame, the most important sociological experiment of our time is ruined. Of course we'll still watch, but wearing black.
• The Casey Johnson saga continues: Yesterday, Nicky Hilton and Bijou Phillips, both of whom were pals of the late heiress, showed up at Tila Tequila's house to take possession of Casey's two dogs. A screaming fight ensued, and the police had to be called in to mediate, since Tequila claimed the two women were taking away the canines to be euthanized. There's some bizarre video of Tila acting crazy, if you're interested. [NYP, NYDN, TMZ]
• Peter Orzsag, the seemingly straight-laced White House budget director (and the owner of the worst toupee in Washington), has been hiding a little secret. It seems he got engaged to ABC News correspondent Bianna Golodryga a few weeks ago only after dumping his previous girlfriend, shipping heiress Claire Milonas, who happened to be pregnant with their baby at the time. [NYP]
• Speaking of embarrassing White House news, Tareq and Michaele Salahi, the fameseeking couple who crashed the state dinner back in November, will be collecting $5,000 to host a party at a Las Vegas club next week. [P6]
• The reason Howard Stern regular, Artie Lange, was hospitalized recently: He tried to commit suicide by stabbing himself nine times. Surgeons managed to save him "despite heavy bleeding." [P6]
• Jersey Shore will be coming back for a second season—or at least that's what one of the cast members is now saying. In the meantime, the crew will continue to collect appearance fees for showing up at bars and clubs. Prices range from $3,000 to $7,500 a piece, or you could pay $30,000 for the whole bunch. And just think of all the hair gel that could buy! [NYDN]
• Lady Gaga has signed a deal with Polaroid to become the brand's "creative director and inventor of specialty products." It's a touch unclear what this will entail exactly, but she may develop "imaging products" for the company and market a line of Gaga-branded cameras and accessories. [People, NYP]
That's right, you won't have to go to Seaside Heights to talk to two of the famous guidos, because we're bringing them right to you to talk about the latest episode as it happens. Who will it be?
• A federal judge has yet to decide whether the city or the LeRoy family controls the "Tavern on the Green" name. In the meantime, the city's plan to use "Tavern in the Park" as a possible backup has been given the kibosh. [NYT]
• Café Gitane's Jane Hotel outpost is now serving dinner. [Gothamist]
• A roundup of a few closings around town in recent days. [Eater]
• Doughnut Plant's second NYC location will be at the Chelsea Hotel. [TONY]
• Bowling is booming, apparently. Leisure Time Bowl, the alley inside the Port Authority Bus Terminal, is changing its name and opening a "swank restaurant" and club shortly. It will soon face some competition in the hood, since Bowlmor is opening a $20 million venue on West 43rd Street this fall. [NYT]
• Looking for a few recipes inspired by Jersey Shore? You're in luck. [F&W]
• What caused the death of troubled socialite and heiress Casey Johnson, who was discovered dead in her LA home yesterday? It's too soon to say since toxicology results are pending, although at least one tabloid is suggesting prescription pills may have been involved. In a bizarre twist to the story, Johnson's "fiancée," reality TV star/fame addict Tila Tequila, tweeted last night that Johnson hadn't actually died and was really in a coma, before backtracking a little while later and acknowledging what had already been confirmed by the police. Tequila's also believed to be the last person to have seen the Johnson & Johnson heiress alive. [TMZ, NYP, NYDN]
• It looks like when Beyoncé performed in St. Barts on New Year's Eve, she was doing so at the behest of Hannibal Khadafy, the son of Libyan dictator Moammar Khadafy. This would be the same man who is rumored to have broken his wife's nose last month, was arrested in 2005 for punching her, and was detained by the police in Geneva in 2008 for beating his servants. So either Beyoncé is really hard up for cash (which is doubtful), or she needs someone to vet her public appearances going forward. [P6]
• The third White House state dinner crasher has been identified. His name is Carlos Allen and he's a DC-based party promoter, and he managed to sneak into the White House by hopping on a bus filled with Indian diplomats. [WP]
• Susan Sarandon has denied reports that she's involved with Jonathan Bricklin, her partner in SPiN, the ping pong club on the East Side. But a source close to the 31-year-old entrepreneur says Bricklin and Sarandon spent New Year's together and were very "touch-feely." [Fox411]
Hooking up and getting drunk aren't the only things the guidos and guidettes of the Jersey Shore have to do for fun. Don't forget about the fights! Let's look at how they handle conflict and retribution in their fiefdom.
It was only a matter of time before we got Jersey Whores, but now that it's here, our brain is about to explode. What is the result of a parody of a self-parody? Implosion? Destruction? Beauty? We're boggled!
• You heard that Charlie Sheen was arrested on Christmas Day for threatening to kill his wife Brooke Mueller with a knife, right? Forget all about it, please. Really. According to Mueller, it was just "one bad night," she and Sheen really "love each other," and they're going to work out all their issues on their own, so she's asked a judge to drop the order of protection that she'd requested last week. Why the sudden turnaround? Rumor has it Sheen's willingness to renegotiate the couple's pre-nup may have encouraged Mueller to change her tune. [NYDN, NYP]
• Sorry, ladies: Rosie O'Donnell is officially off the market: The comedian has confirmed she's dating Tracy Kachtick-Anders, a Texas-based artist and "inventor." And it seems the couple met thanks to Rosie's blog, since Tracy is a regular commenter on the site. Cute! [People, Gawker]
• Susan Sarandon hasn't confirmed that she's dating Jonathan Bricklin, the three-decades-younger ping-pong aficionado who she was first linked to last week. But they were spotted sharing a late-night meal earlier this week. [P6]
• Right-wing blowhard (and longtime prescription drug user) Rush Limbaugh was rushed to a hospital yesterday after complaining of chest pains. [NYP]
The eight-guidos-in-a-house reality show is MTV's biggest hit in years, but this year Christmas and New Year's Eves land on the show's Thursday night slot. Should they air a show no one will watch or risk further cast overexposure?
You gotta hand it to Americans, they're crafty. If MTV doesn't want to show Snooki getting punched in the face, people will re-create it in as many ways possible until our craving for misogynistic violence is satisfied. Today's re-interpretation: puppies.
