This footage is pretty much exactly what you would expect. The girls talk about the size of their breasts, the guys show off their muscles, and The Situation is convinced he'll be the first to get his own spin-off.

Now that Snooki, The Situation, and crew have leaped off the screen and into our real lives with public and club appearances, are reports of their wanton ways going to screw up MTV's newest hit? Maybe.

Despite its name, MTV's Jersey Shore isn't really a reflection on New Jersey, says Slate's Jonah Weiner. It's more a comment on where half of the cast is originally from: Staten Island, "prime summer-rental feeder community," longtime haven to members of the Mafia, the site of one of the city's biggest landfills, and "home to the largest per-capita Italian-American population in New York state." [Slate]

• The first photos of Tiger Woods at Mississippi sex rehab facility he's been staying at have arrived. He's wearing a hoodie, baseball cap, and pair of shorts in the pics. And he has a not-so-happy expression on his face, which is probably how you'd respond, too, if you were in sex rehab and you walked out of your front door to find a National Enquirer photographer lying in wait. [NE]
• Will today be the day Conan finally settles with NBC? Quite possibly. [NYDN]
• Several of Lindsay Lohan's friends think she may be cutting herself (again) after she showed up at a pre-Golden Globes party with a fresh scar on her arm. In other LiLo news, she was spotted making out with a random French actor the other night, in case that news is of any interest you. [NYDN, TMZ]
• Are you ready to bid adieu to the charming cast of cable TV's classiest new reality show? Yes, the finale of Jersey Shore airs on MTV tomorrow night. But it will be followed by a one-hour reunion special and producers are already hard at work on prequel called "Before the Shore," so rest assured you'll be seeing plenty of the Shore crew in the months ahead. [NYP]
• Just in time for the new season of Real Housewives of New York City, Kelly Killoren Bensimon has agreed to appear in the March issue of Playboy. The 41-year-old mother of two will appear on the cover. But there will also be six-page "nude pictorial"—shot by Kelly's ex-husband Gilles Bensimon—inside the magazine as well, you'll undoubtedly be thrilled to hear. [Us, P6]

Students at NYU Law couldn't come up with the cash to have Snooki from MTV's Jersey Shore make an appearance last week. But either undergrads at Yale have more of their parents' money to blow or they're simply more determined because they have two Jersey Shore cast members booked between now and the weekend. (Vinny will be there on Thursday; Snooki is scheduled to make an appearance this weekend.) "Will Snooki find love and existential fulfillment at Yale? Will she find a New Poughkeepsie in New Haven?" Maybe not, but the $10K she'll walk away with should be reward enough. [IvyGate, previously]

• The messiest TV feud in years may be nearing its end. Conan O'Brien and NBC are said to be close to signing a deal that would allow Conan to walk away from The Tonight Show with $32.5 million in hand. He wouldn't be able to host a show on another network until September under terms of the agreement. And it remains unclear if he'll be able to take some of the memorable characters he created with him, like Triumph the Insult Comic Dog or the Masturbating Bear. [TMZ]
• Has Jennifer Aniston finally found love? Probably not, but she's reportedly hooking up with Gerard Butler again. After taking pictures together on the red carpet at the Golden Globes, Aniston and Butler were supposedly seen "making out" backstage and were "attached at the hip all night." [P6]
• Madonna may be looking to add to her collection of kids. According to a Brit tabloid, the 51-year-old singer wants to have a baby with her Brazilian boytoy Jesus Luz since she has "endless love in her heart for another child." [Sun]
• Tiger Woods may be staying at Pine Grove, a sex rehab facility in Mississippi, if you happen to be looking for him, or you just need the name of a place that will treat your own compulsion to sleep with hookers and waitresses. [Us]

Why's Paulie D posing half-naked with his iPhone? If I understand Jersey Shore, it's kind of a given: Why not? But what's DJ Paulie D doing posing half-naked on Guys With iPhones, which is loaded with NSFW gay adverts? Update!

Today at Gawker.TV, a pint-size Jersey Shore, Will Arnett acts alongside Amy Poehler, Jimmy Fallon does his Neil Young impression, Kelly Ripa laughs at the names of Canadian cities, and a look back at this week in Late Night.

A reenactment of our favorite dysfunctional reality show. Only Snooki, The Situation and DJ Pauly D are 5 years old. Don't worry, they're still tanned, and The Situation still flashes his abs at every opportunity.

For the most important sociological experiment of our time, we must observe our seven guidos not only in environments they are comfortable in, but abroad as well. Still, it as in their native habitat where they truly flourish.

• Lady Gaga collapsed in her dressing room last night just before she was set to perform at Purdue University. Paramedics were called and she reported she was "feeling dizzy and having trouble breathing," and the concert had to be canceled. But she's okay today and has since apologized to her "little monsters" (fans) on Twitter, so everything is cool now. [Sun, MTV]
• Lindsay Lohan hung out with Jersey Shore's Paul "DJ Pauly D" Devecchio and Mike "The Situation" Sorrentino at a club in LA the other night. If you, too, want to fist-pump with Pauly, you can: He'll be DJing at a Midtown baron Jan. 23, and the cover is only $10. [Us, NYP]
• George Clooney is hosting a telethon next week to raise funds for Haiti. Other celebs pitching in to help: Gisele Bundchen has pledged $1.5 million with husband Tom Brady; Madonna says she's good for $250K; and David Blaine is performing for three days in Times Square as part of a fundraiser for the Red Cross. [Us, NYDN, People]

We have no special guests this week, but that doesn't mean this live blog won't be full of special guests, like you. And we won't get a Snooki punch, but we'll get a ShamWOWW punch. And it's two hours!

A leaked email from NYU Law's student listserv reveals a fight to book Snooki at a bargain-basement rate of $2000. As the email battle rages, Snooki's price rises. A comparative analysis reveals post-bar-brawl Snooki as the show's fastest-rising moneymaker.

It's been a heartbreaking day at NYU Law. It seems a group of students tried to make arrangements to have Nicole "Snooki" Polizzi from MTV's Jersey Shore pay them a visit, but then the whole thing fell through at the last minute. After the jump: The tragic details and amusing memo that was circulated earlier today.

Brad Ferro, the NYC high school gym teacher who punched Jersey Shore's lovable pet Snooki in the face, is being fired. If they fire all gym teachers who drunkenly punch women, who will be left to teach dodgeball? [TMZ]

People was kind enough to check in with the cast of MTV's Jersey Shore today to find out how they hope to capitalize on their insta-fame. Snooki and J-WOWW are both following reality TV tradition and launching clothing lines; Ronnie says he may open a tanning salon with his dad as well as introduce a beverage line; and Vinny says he's thinking about applying to law school. (Go figure.) As for Mike "The Situation" Sorrentino, he tells the mag that he plans to pursue an acting career and is also hoping to exploit his inane nickname by trademarking it. "I have people working on it as we speak," he tells People. The only problem: Two other people have already applied to trademark "The Situation" since the show debuted last month.

The Situation's yearbook photo (sent in by a reader) is even more hysterical than the laughably bad pictures of him in his male stripper days. We may get better, nakeder pictures of one of his castmates mighty soon. Guess who...

• The epic mess at NBC continues: The last-place network is now thinking above moving Jay Leno to a 11:35pm-12:05am time slot and then having Conan O'Brien follow him for a full hour. But no deal has been reached, and there's still a possibility that Conan will abandon ship. [NYT, LAT, BN, NYT]
• Rudy Giuliani is under fire for idiotic comments he made on Good Morning America today. George Stephanopoulos: He isn't looking so hot either. [NYT]
• Changes at the Times: Star reporter Sewell Chan is headed to the paper's D.C. bureau; and the NYT's City Room blog has a new editor. [Politico, NYT]
• If you love Jersey Shore, maybe you'll be interested in Jersey Couture? [THR]
• Bad news for tweens, pervs: Hannah Montana is coming to an end. [MTV]
• Ben Silverman's studio/glorified ad agency is teaming up with Yahoo! [NYT]
• President Obama's State of the Union address will not—repeat not—conflict with Lost's season opener on February 2. So you can relax now. [WSJ]
• Did Reuters kill a story so as to not offend billionaire Steve Cohen? [Gawker]
• If you work at Condé Nast and you go get a boob job, you probably shouldn't show your new assets to your colleagues when your return to the office. (Even if you're behind closed doors and you keep your sports bra on.) [NYP]

The guidos of coastal New Jersey can't really be called a peace-loving tribe, but when battle is done, it is usually for good reason and because one party is provoked. Sometimes it's just cause they're drunk. Either way—fascinating.