We've assembled a gallery of the 18 known pictures of Eliot Spitzer's high-priced hooker Ashley Youmans, aka Ashley Alexandra Dupre, plus (after the jump) a gallery of two possible pictures of Youmans. Youmans has not yet closed off or deleted her MySpace page, despite giving an interview to the Times and rapidly having her name spread throughout the internet. Something tells us the aspiring musician is not entirely minding all the attention. At the moment, these shots come from her music store and MySpace page. We'll keep this gallery updated as new photos emerge, as they surely will.

Take this with a larger than usual dose of skepticism: a screengrab purporting to show the high-class escort hired by New York's Governor last month. The details of the 5'5" girl fit the description in the FBI affidavit which detailed the communication between the Kristen, her agency, and Client 9, the man once considered a future presidential candidate. And the design of the web page is similar to that of other entries on the site (now defunct) advertising the Emperors Club's escorts. But we received the image from a site associated with Michael Caputo, a known agent of state Republicans; his motives are not pure. (Cajunboy, you have a view: is this the girl?)

While many bright-eyed actresses with big dreams will hit the casting couch circuit in an attempt to land their first break, Jenna Fischer wasn't willing to give it up after an entire year spent pounding the Los Angeles pavement. But now that she's a big star, she understandably has some choice words for the screenwriter who, a few years back, gave her shit for refusing to drop trou for him. In an interview with Playboy, Jenna tells a story about what happened after she ran into Halloween 5 screenwriter Shem Bitterman at a party one year into her move-west-and-act life plan. Apparently, her non-interest in starring in a "like, really raunchy" new film of his spurred the scribe to claim she was clearly "not a real actress." And while the old Jenna did nothing but go home and cry her newbie eyes out, the emboldened Office star has this to say to the Bitterman today:

Vogue's former art director Mehemet Femy Agha once told a contributor that "she's like a piano player in a whorehouse. She may be a very good piano player, but nobody goes there to hear music. Nobody buys Vogue to read good literature; they buy it to see the clothes." A fair point, but I don't really like whores or fashion. So I decided to read Vogue this month to see what the fuss is about.

It's no longer shocking to see a celebrity waltzing around the beach post-op (Courtney Love, anyone?) but, thankfully, most celebs remember to remove their bandages before donning their itsy bitsys. But what if said bandages are there for life? And in the form of their own flesh? Well, if they belong to surgery-happy Patricia Heaton, we will all have the pleasure of viewing them! In light of recent photos showing Ray Romano's television wife in her bikini and missing one bellybutton, the Huffington Post dug up some slightly unreadable details on the magically disappearing must-have and the revelations, like the photos, are not pretty:

Feeling hungry? Try snacking on our Dirt Sandwich, a wild and woolly compilation of the moments in celebrity infotainment programming that made us simultaneously groan, chuckle and hurl this week. As always, we force politely ask Intrepid Defamer Videographer™ Molly McAleer to watch this dreck all week so you don't have to. This week's highlights/lowlights include audio transmissions of John Ritter's surprisingly mundane final phone call to his wife ("I ate some pork left out in the sun") and the touching story of how Dancing With The Star's Marlee Matlin draws inspiration from a troupe of hearing-impaired ballerinas. Enjoy!

While AOL has put together a rosy list of the "hottest on-set hookups," complete with lusty make-out pictures and lovey-dovey tales from between the sheets, we feel obligated to point out that not every "hot" and heavy on-set romance leads to a fairy tale ending. In fact, a few of these couples' choices to get busy in between scenes wreaked havoc on both their personal and professional lives, leading some to lose their spouses, their reps and, in Angelina Jolie's case, a tattoo or two. We put together our own list of the top five most ill-fated on-set hookups, mainly to remind these bed-hopping stars that sometimes it's best to just say no to illicit trailer sex.

Sheila didn't come into work yesterday... as it turns out, she had a good excuse. As I was led through the subway station in handcuffs Tuesday night, a young girl called after me, "Oooh, undercover got you, didn't they? What you did, ma?" Good question! All I did was drink a beer from a paper bag while waiting for the F train. Trashy habit, and technically illegal, but who cares, right? In fact, the NYPD cares very much. What followed was twenty-four hours in two jails, hours in handcuffs, and eventual dismissal in that three-ring circus known as Night Court. Everything I need to know about life, I learned in the female prisoner holding pen in the Tombs.

Shocking (shocking!) news has surfaced that yet another flat-chested actress was deemed not voluptuous enough for her movie poster. The lusty marketing team behind Fool's Gold are not fools; they realized that Kate Hudson's no Lindsay Lohan in the breast department. To that end, The Daily Mail is reporting that Hudson's natural A-cups were boosted up to Bs in promotional pictures for the film, possibly in an effort to give Matthew McConaughey's pecs a run for their money. But Kate's not the only cleavage-challenged actress that's been digitally bazoomed on a poster. Anyone remember the titular tales behind Keira Knightley, Jessica Alba, Emma Watson and yes, even Lindsay Lohan's digital enhancements? We do!

Dawn Eden used to compose awesome headlines until she was fired by the New York Post (the Post!) for editing a story to reflect her ultra-orthodox Catholic views. Since then, she's bummed around as a relentlessly self-promoting punk-rock born-again virgin. But here's the thing about Dawn Eden: She's not married. Excuse me for sounding like my grandmother, but what good is a woman without a man? In women's self-help, having a husband proves the self-help is actually helpful since all women care about is getting married. Those Rules bitches were married, which gave credibility to said rules. Of course, that credibility was later undone when one of the authors divorced, but I digress. Yesterday on the Today Show, re-hymened Dawn Eden claimed that being a virgin (again) has taught her "how to make a gift of myself to others." Whatever. No ring, no authority. Video after the jump.

David Hernandez, the cheesy current American Idol contestant who looks like a dead person, has a checkered past. It seems he used to rock out with his cock out at a Phoenix strip club. (Ugh. Phoenix.) He is only the latest installment in the grand saga of reality stars being revealed as crazed exhibitionists who will expose both inner failings and outer naughty bits in the pursuit of money and validation. In case you're curious, we've compiled a little list of other notable reality television stars who were known to boff for bones or jam out with their clam out.

Apple will open a new retail store in Pebble Beach, a tipster tells us. He spotted "help wanted" signs. Julia Allisons of the world, mark it down as another place to find your Kevin Rose. According to Cosmopolitan, Apple Stores are ideal places to "check your email among cuties, take a free workshop on anything from Photoshop to podcasting (a great opportunity to strike up a conversation), or just survey the, ahem, good-looking merchandise." We've heard Apple Stores aren't a bad spot for whale watching, either. (Photo by laffy4k)

Every TV nut (well, isn't that all of us here?) has, at one point or another, spent a little time fantasizing about certain fictional characters on their favorite shows. These fantasies tend to be either soft-focus daydreams (say, dreaming up elaborate schemes in which they "bump" into you at a party) or something a bit more hard-core (picturing them while giving your significant other the old in-out). On that note, the clever list-makers over at EW decided to compile a Top 30 reader's choice collection of the small-screen boys and girls who most frequently make cameos in those illicit fantasies. But, with no offense to the site's readers, we have some serious vetoes to charge. After the jump, our picks for who falls under Strongly Agree (the predictable Jim Halpert) and those we brand as a Vehemently Disagree (four words: Bree. Van. De. Camp), as well as the most erroneous, mind-boggling oversight missing from the group:

If there's one thing you can count on in a world that's wild at heart and weird on top, it's that the celebrity infotainment shows will come up with at least a handful of moments every week that'll make you groan, chuckle and hurl simultaneously. As always, we make Intrepid Defamer Videographer™ Molly McAleer watch all of these shows so you don't have to. Highlights/lowlights from last week's tabloid television shows include Sally Struthers being blasted by The Insider and TMZ accusing Katherine Heigl of "calling in the gays" when she invited Grey's co-star T.R. Knight over to her house. Enjoy!

Quel âne. Marion Cotillard has come under entirely predictable criticism for her moronic claim that the attacks of September 2001 might have been a conspiracy by property developers who couldn't be bothered to repair the cabling on the Twin Towers. The Oscar-winning French actress should have tried contrition, a dash of naivete, with the breathless delivery that won over the audience during last weekend's Academy Awards telecast. Instead: petulance about as charming as France's enduring resentment of those countries that liberated them twice in the last century.

Breaking up stinks. Never more so than when your ex is Jimmy Wales, the unhygienic founder of Wikipedia, right-wing TV commentator Rachel Marsden has learned. Before Wales dumped her via Wikipedia, he left two reeking articles of clothing at her New York apartment. She's now selling them on eBay Canada. Today's contribution to the sum of all human knowledge: Jimmy Wales shops at Men's Wearhouse. Screenshots of the eBay listings:

This is surely a first: Breaking up with a girlfriend via Wikipedia. Jimmy Wales, the creator of the world's best collection of Outkast lyrics, has announced in a statement on the website that he's no longer seeing Rachel Marsden, the saucy Canadian right-winger who started chatting him up after her Wikipedia profile came under attack. (See Valleywag's exclusive transcripts of their secret love IMs.) One hopes Marsden didn't learn about the split by reading Jimmy's love note online. As late as last night, she told a friend that she and Wales had patched things up.

Putting Drew Barrymore's last relationship with Fab from The Strokes aside, the girl does seem to fancy the funnymen (Tom Green, Zach Braff, and recent boytoy Justin Long among them). But after seeing beach pics reminiscent of those painfully staged Heidi and Spencer photos, we're wondering if all this gooeyness means that yet another Drew Dating Disaster is in store. Among the comments made in her cover story from this month's Vogue: "My cheeks hurt, I'm so happy." Long's gushy response? "She makes my cheeks hurt too." Plus, Drew is apparently fond of calling him her "gentleman caller" (nice to see someone is still reading Tennessee Williams). And then there's the kicker: as Oprah's website reveals, Drew and Justin are set to make a "worldwide announcement" on Monday's show...

This story is so awesome: in part because it centers around Hud Morgan, the scarf-wearing and fruitini-drinking libertine who's dating a barely legal daytime TV actress; but mainly because last night's incident between two journalists at the Beatrice Inn is an echo of the noir New York of vicious gossip columnists and drunken fights over starlets. (If we're playing Sweet Smell Of Success, can I be J.J. Hunsecker, please?)

Repellent as it was, Jeffrey Wells' suspicion that no teenage boy would ever knock up a girl as "midget-sized" or "scrawny" as he perceived Ellen Page to be in Juno might actually have had some veracity to it. At least accidentally, anyhow, as Michael Musto indirectly suggested on Wednesday: