How bad is America's neverending recession? So bad that The American Man—mind enfeebled by Axe body spray fumes and Spanx-induced circulatory cutoff—now thinks nothing of taking a job that has traditionally been held primarily by women, so that he may earn money to pay for food, clothing, and shelter. The evidence is clear: "An analysis of census data by The New York Times shows that from 2000 to 2010, occupations that are more than 70 percent female accounted for almost a third of all job growth for men, double the share of the previous decade."

The recent near-total collapse of the global economy has had some real negative effects. Life savings wiped out; retirements ruined; people evicted from their homes. The fact that 23-year-olds are working at Starbucks even after they've earned their English diplomas? Not at the top of the list.

A man we'll call Robert has a profile on the employment website Monster.com, and earlier today he received a message from a recruiter about a job in "beautiful Northwest Arkansas."

Only fools take career advice from a website, other than this website. If you glanced at the new alleged listing of the Best and Worst Jobs from CareerCast.com today, this is what you would be asked to believe:

We were forwarded this rejection email, apparently sent to more than 900 hopeful applicants in one bulk delivery, by a reader who shall remain anonymous. (The person is, after all, still looking for a job).

We are currently searching for a talented, part-time graphic artist to assist our Art Director. Applicants should be available to come into our New York office 2-3 days a week, and must also have/be the following:

Even before all of Wall Street collapsed in September of 2008, bringing the national and global economy down with it, there was unemployment. Unemployment has always been a feature of this world. But since the whole "collapse of the economy" thing, it's been clear that if you lost your job, it was probably due to the nefarious work of economic villains far outside of your control. Not any more, though!

In case you've forgotten, let us take this opportunity to remind you: do not go to law school. Law school is worthless. Even more worthless than you think. Law school will not make you happy. The smart kids are not going to law school. You should not go to law school.

Work. You can either conquer it, or let it conquer you. Amirite? Don't let it conquer you. Conquer it. Yes. Conquering it is preferable. Having survived four full years at Gawker Media—eight-time winner of Forbes Magazine's prestigious "Most Unstable Workplace" award—I have picked up some prudent methods of survival. Don't just work—flourish™.

Three research universities combined their forces to prove that a person's Facebook page is, more often than not, an accurate predictor of future job performance. Apparently Facebook pages that portray "traits such as conscientiousness, agreeability, and intellectual curiosity" have a "strong correlation" with good job performance.

Above, Nicolas Cage describes his acting discipline, "nouveau shamanic," which involves "put[ting] on Afro-Caribbean paint" and "sew[ing] in bits of Egyptian artifacts that are thousands of years old into my costume and gather[ing] some onyx or tourmeline or something that was meant to have vibrations." Yesterday, he told Moviefone:

Oh-oh, a new study of entry-level investment bankers finds the young masters of the universe afflicted with "insomnia, alcoholism, heart palpitations, eating disorders and an explosive temper." And that's the young ones. Why destroy yourself like that? There are lots of safer activities than investment banking.

It's that time of year when hopeful undergrads send out their resumes to the investment banks they for some reason want to work for. But one guy's bombastic cover letter has made him the laughing-stock of Wall Street.

Two recent studies say that people who work a lot of overtime hours are at a higher risk of developing depression than people who work regular hours. This calls for a simple mathematical formula.

John Dancler, the L.A. "parking enforcement official" who made a pornographic movie while on duty and in uniform, had a civil service hearing this week to beg for his job back. A hearing examiner was forced to scrutinize "every frame" of Dancler's movie, then quizzed him about "slapping her behind." Awk-ward.

It's hard out there for job-seekers, we know. How can you stand out in a crowd? How do you impress an employer? What's the best way to communicate your skills and your passions? Here's our advice: don't write a cover letter that ends with the words "thanks cunt!"

There's a power change at aspiring investigative powerhouse the Huffington Post: Managing editor Nico Pitney is out, and Arianna Huffington's assistant — sorry, "chief of staff" — Jimmy Soni is in. He's 26, a swing dancer, barefoot runner, trilingual, and new to this whole editing and reporting thing.

In light of the many changes taking place across several Gawker media sites, we are looking to add some especially courageous night and weekend writers to the Gawker team. Beginning this weekend, we will hold auditions for those interested in sacrificing their time and relationships for the Gawker graveyard shifts. Each prospective writer will be assigned a full weekend (or two to three nights) to cover.

Keith Olbermann is a talented television man. He's agile with words. He's whip-smart, an often penetrating thinker, and seems able to strike the perfect on-air balance between smoldering outrage and smirking "What are we doing here, folks?" acknowledgment of some of television's absurdities. Still. If you are a TV executive who hires this man, you are a fucking idiot.

Gigantic internet zombie Yahoo announced it's installed Scott Thompson as CEO, replacing the scary lady who cussed. Thompson was president of noted precious antique destroyer PayPal, isn't big on journalism, and dresses like Mitt Romney's less cool older brother.