One positive side effect of our entire nation being unemployed: we're spending less time at work! The Labor Department's latest annual survey of what the hell we do with all our time found that we, as a nation, work less than four hours on the average weekday—six minutes less than in 2009. Layabouts! And what are we doing with our abundant free time? Laying about! From the WSJ:

The Supreme Court has just ruled that what would have been the largest sex discrimination suit in history—more than a million women suing Wal-Mart—cannot proceed as a class action suit. The women are all free to sue the company separately, but the mega-humongo class action suit would have been a serious financial threat to the company, while various isolated lawsuits will not be.

Unemployment is falling in half the country, but not the most important half: Wall Street. There, the beleaguered derivative-shufflers are facing a third straight month of rising unemployment. Literally thousands of former bankers are now wandering our city's streets, driftless. How will they adjust to life in the post-banker world?

Though we are loath to continue pointing out the myriad ways in which the practice of law has become a degrading wallow in the depths of human desperation, we will simply note—for those of you keeping score in your law-school-graduation-present moleskines—that, thanks to a handy new website that allows you to order up a lawyer at any time of day or night, the legal profession has, at long last, become just as respectable as the fast food profession:

Life as an American attorney these days is little more than a steady progression of more and more degrading news stories about the ever-declining status of your job, and, by extension, the rapid downward spiral of your worth as a human being. When we last checked in on the unfortunate underemployed would-be litigators, they were getting their own formerly outsourced jobs backsourced to them, at a fraction of the pay.

It's a tough(er) time to be a Manhattan hotel maid. First, DSK assaulted a maid; then that Egyptian banker assaulted a maid; by then everyone was so scared that hotels started handing out panic buttons to their workers.

We asked for your most shocking tales from summer employment, and boy did you all deliver. While there were plenty of stories that were amazing (and sad and gross and scary), there was only one that was good enough to be the winner.

Ginormous Wal-Mart alternative Target is the subject of a unionization campaign at one of its New York stores. Because Target is a virulently anti-union company with a well-known reputation for ridiculously simplistic corporate propaganda, it's only natural they're bombarding their workers at this particular store with scaremongering documents. Which we have.

The economy added a whopping 54,000 non-farm jobs last month, and the official unemployment rate is now back to 9.1 percent. That's really, really bad.

Yes, it's that time of year when high school and college kids partake in the great ritual of finding a summer job. Seasonal employment sucks and usually entails meager pay, physical labor, embarrassing costumes, or putting up with swarms of pesky kids. But now your torture could win you a prize.

Chin up, poor lawyers! The humble American attorney has had a hard go of it lately—it officially sucks to be a law student, a young lawyer, or, really, any lawyer, except for the super rich ones.

Last week, we brought you true stories about life as a Target employee, in honor of the ongoing campaign to unionize the virulently anti-union retailer. Today, we bring you the huge second installment.

Osama bin Laden was many things: Terrorist, mass murderer, psychopath, sociopath, chronic masturbator, poon hound. But for all of his faults, bin Laden was a pretty decent employer, in jidahi terms, at least. Much of that stems from his degree in economics and public administration. From NPR, we have more tales of Osama bin Laden as micro-managing terrorist mastermind:

Well-branded big box retailer Target—a staunchly anti-union company—is now the target of a union campaign. Yesterday, we asked for Target workers to send us their stories of life on the inside. The response was fairly overwhelming.

Another day, another alarming finding about America's complete lack of core strength. A new report points to a possible culprit for our nation's ongoing descent into blob-dom: our cushy, chair-bound jobs. Does this mean you're doomed?

Remember Lena Chen? She was big on the internet a few years back for being a compulsively oversharing sex blogger while she attended Harvard. Anyhow, she graduated, and stopped sex blogging, and we forgot about her. Now she's back! And we're going to use her story as a peg for some completely unsolicited advice-giving.

The sun-kissed people of Newport Beach, California, are riled and swollen with anger because some of their town's 13 lifeguards make more than $200,000 a year. That's more than what some of America's hard-working business executives make!

Tonight marks Katie Couric's final broadcast as the anchor of CBS Evening News. It's the end of a well-intentioned but fruitless experiment. Sad. Sadder still, Katie still doesn't officially have a new job lined up. That's what friends are for!

Cleaning up after college kids is lucrative. A profile in The Daily Beast reveals that Kia Grasty, cheerful custodian of Penn frat houses, makes $140,000 by mopping beer from rich kids' floors.

Congratulations! The economy added 244,000 jobs last month. So how come you don't have one? Because that's not nearly enough. Not even close.