Bloomberg had a few things to say about gun violence on Meet the Press today:

The American Nazi Party has registered its first-ever Capitol Hill lobbyist, a 55-year-old South Carolina paralegal named John Taylor Bowles. Bowles chatted with us by phone from his Greenville-area home (he will commute to D.C.) about his legislative goals, the time he ran for president, and his desire to work with Joe Lieberman.

Old Arab-hating literary tycoon Marty Peretz is putting his beloved Washington treasure The New Republic — the "in-flight magazine of Air Force One," according to a movie about how much of its content was completely fabricated — on the market, again. Who should purchase this esteemed leftist journal of moderately regulated capitalism and hella warmaking?

When he wasn't smoking pot with the New York Police Department's confidential informant or trying to manually cut off the tip of his penis, "lone wolf" terror suspect Jose Pimentel was running a jihadist website on Google's Blogger platform.

It does not seem like a question of whether retiring Sen. Joe Lieberman will support a Republican in the race for his Senate seat, but which Republican he will support. Which one would annoy Democrats, the people he represented as a United States vice presidential candidate in 2000, the absolute most? This is a call he cannot afford to get wrong. Joe Lieberman is on the eve of great decisions.

A brave coalition of centrist senators defiantly took the stage today to save America, by asking for larger, more painful budget cuts to lower- and middle-class social programs in a horrible time of economic agony and uncertainty. Thirty-six of them, there were! Can you just feel the red, white and blue coursing through your veins?

There are a few guidelines to being a successful blogger: Update frequently. Promote your posts on social media. And don't describe Sen. Joe Lieberman as "one Jew, who we absolutely must shoot in the face (many times), ASAP."

These Sunday talk show hosts are so mean, the way they exploit Sen. Joe Lieberman's incurable love of endless war everywhere for a mini-scoop or two every week. Here's Fox News' Chris Wallace asking the despised Connecticut lame-duck yesterday, "What should we do about Syria?" Not a very subtle leading question, Chris Wallace. We all know that Joe Lieberman would sell his skin, teeth and bones for a few (million) bombing sorties over Damascus that he can watch on television, with his pants down.

Sen. Joe Lieberman actually went through with his retirement announcement! Who knew it would ever be this easy to get rid of him? Thanks, Joe! Let's check out what he said at today's grand press conference.

Senator Joe Lieberman (I - His Own Butt), will reportedly announce tomorrow that he won't be seeking re-election next year, because he won't win. And, by denying us the thrill of watching him lose, America's greatest political troll strikes again!

Jon Stewart tread on familiar ground tonight, lambasting Senator John McCain for continuing his backpedaling and doublespeak on "Don't Ask, Don't Tell." Curiously, though, it was Joe Lieberman who got a tip of the hat. Watch inside.

If I asked you what the biggest problem facing American politics is, what would you say? Would you say "a lack of civility"? If so, get excited, because, oh boy do I have a political movement for you!

Doomed Sen. Joe Lieberman, after briefly praising CNN in a Don Imus interview today, quickly added, "But of course, really, Fox Business is my favorite and Fox generally, anything Rupert Murdoch owns." Jesus, even Murdoch doesn't like everything he owns.

And with only a few hundred write-in votes left to count, the AP calls it: Lisa Murkowski has finally defeated Joe Miller in Alaska's Senate race as a write-in candidate. Be nice to her now, Republicans: She's your Joe Lieberman.

While Democrats seem likely to lose the House this November, the race for Senate control is close as the dickens. What if it splits 50-50? Joe Biden's tie-breaking vote would preserve Democratic control — until Joe Lieberman joins the GOP!

Intentionally annoying Sen. Joe Lieberman feels relevant again! Today he said "I will do everything I can" to stop Democrats from allowing Bush's upper-class tax cuts to expire. Everything? Will he streak around the Capitol's south lawn wearing diapers? Probably.

That whole uproar about Senator Joe Lieberman's bill to give the president an internet "kill switch?" He says it's all just "misinformation," and only wants the president to have the power to "disconnect the American Internet" when bad things happen.

Joe Lieberman loves publicly agonizing over which candidate to support for Connecticut's other Senate seat. What about Republican Linda McMahon's trashy history in pro-wrestling? "I'm not gonna hold her accountable for anything she did in the past." Huh?

Is John Kerry the real-life Captain Planet? No. But in a lot of ways, Yes! On Thursday, Kerry, alongside Joe Lieberman ("Heart"), introduced his thousand-page climate bill, the American Power Act. Let us answer your Frequently Asked Questions regarding it.

This is a transcript from a hearing of the Senate Pizza Responsibility Committee for an inquest into the wasting of two whole pies at a residence at 2000 S St, NW in Washington, D.C. The honorable Senator Joeseph Lieberman presiding.