Michael Mineo is a 25 year-old tattooed former gangbanger who says the NYPD sodomized him with a nightstick. The NYT's account: Chilling and poignant. The Daily News' account: Matter-of-fact. The Post: 'Victim,' in scare quotes. Choose your own adventure!

In your soaking Monday media column: a religion writer does god's work against crappy press releases, a public Chicago media sobriety fight, McClatchy just misses being car bombed, and the first wearable magazine, allegedly.

Today in our occasional series of Reporters Gamely Trying to Do Other Things and Failing Miserably, For Journalism: Ad Age's Larry Dobrow tried out for a TV pitchman job. Good enthusiasm! Just makes you miss Billy Mays that much more.

It was announced last week that the well-reputed paint-huffing punks of VICE were partnering up to share their VBS.TV content with CNN—the 30 year-old broadcast news network, America's first all-news channel—on their website. Does it mean anything?

Hell yes, they're applying. As John Edwards vindicates their reporting on his infidelity and cover-up, Enquirer editor Barry Levine has applied for the Pulitzer. We, and others, are for it. Anything to give Frances Quinn's chub cheeks more play. [WaPo]

As promised, Kate Major—the former Star celebrity reporter who left journalism behind to pursue love with Jon Gosselin (which didn't quite work)—has answered five questions for you, the bloodthirsty internet hordes. Below: regrets, journalism, heroes, and celebulove.

Famous sex addict Benoit Denizet-Lewis is sorry for publicly confirming that Tiger Woods is in rehab for sex addiction, illustrating the fact that no addiction is quite as powerful as a SCOOP. (Except crack and heroin. And meth). [BDL]

Two days ago, CNN's Haiti coverage reached a strange climax, as Sanjay Gupta and Anderson Cooper morphed into a team of life-saving reporters/heroes. Tonight, Gupta and Cooper were just a couple of journalists who have maybe seen too much.

In your progressive Wednesday media column: the typically effeminate French (whose asses we saved in WWII) think ladies can be in charge of things, the WaPo has never been to DC, Greg Mitchell's lament, and Vice meets CNN.

Arthur "Young AG" Sulzberger XVIII, heir to throne of the New York Times paid online internet empire, hath tracked down yet another important story in his ongoing quest to become the Metro section's most quirkiest cub reporter who will be everyone else's boss one day. Here is what Young Sulzberger learned in the course of his routine perambulations: a certain oafish ruffian has been terrorizing the law-abiding residents of the Village of Greenwich as of late. Notable in and of itself? Sadly not; the streets of our fair city have become alarmingly less safe since the immigrant gangs made their way of Five Points.

In your beefy Tuesday media column: Jim VandeHei doesn't even read his old newspaper because it is so stupid, the NYT's most badass old dude passes away, Reuters now non-poisonous, and a smackdown of Michael Kinsley.

Yesterday everyone, including us, went all frothy for a story about blonde women being more war-like and determined than others. Turns out it was kind of false. Here's how it spread.

Larry King sold his suspenders. Anderson Cooper and Sanjay Gupta saved young Haitians. And Jessica Yellin made a terrible earthquake-related pun. Welcome to the strangest night yet of CNN's unrelenting prime-time Haiti coverage.

Hello, it is the most recent "Weekly Notes" memo from inspirational be-bowtied Bloomberg leader Matthew Winkler. Imagine him shouting the entire text at you, to get the full effect.

In your mawkish Monday media column: James Dobson coming to your sexxxy radio dial, a rumor of perfidy at McGraw-Hill, an editor passes away, and Larry King and Pete Wentz team up to save Haiti.

The practice of journalism is full of knotty ethical questions best left to experts. Luckily, we have one: Former Star reporter turned Jon Gosselin flame and celeb boxing ref Kate Major. We need your thorny media dilemmas, for her expertise!

At least two foreign reporters in China, including an AP television reporter, discovered that their GMail accounts have been hacked (by the government??). Oh, ChinaGuy69@aol.com was just not "professional" enough, right? You had to switch to Gmail. Fools. [NYT]

Daily Intel's Gabriel Sherman posted a report today with sources noting that the New York Times is "close to announcing" the return of an online content paywall. Questions, then: Is it true? Will it work? And will it matter?

As if the journalism job landscape weren't terrifying enough, now you've got to think about learning to code. It's yet another new media skill you'll need to stay ahead of competitors. And make no mistake: they're stockpiling O'Reilly books.

In your tricky Thursday media column: the NYT is now a cheap-ass school, media cafeterias rated, the PR industry thrives, another newspaper company goes bankrupt, and News Corp fully supports toadlike fascist Roger Ailes.