• It's the mother of all conspiracy theories: did Jennifer Garner and Ben Affleck sign a secret deal with Starbucks to be constantly photographed by paparazzi while holding their venti white mochas? It's so evil, we're inclined to believe it. Lord knows the Olsens signed that contract ages ago. [Lowdown]
• Nick Lachey may have found out that his split from Jessica Simpson was about to be made public courtesy of Simpson's rep Rob Shuter, but he may still come out on top: The couple didn't sign a prenup. Kevin Federline would be proud. [Page Six]
• The world continues to turn on star journo Bob Woodward; now John Belushi's widow, who encouraged friends to aid Woodward in writing her husband's biography, says she regrets the choice and is assembling a book full of anti-Woodward sentiments. [R&M]
• Judith Regan's PR director, Paul Crichton, quit and has all but disappeared after being questioned about unauthorized spending. We also hear he's changed his cell phone number, but we don't suppose that'll deter Regan from the scent of his blood. [Page Six]
• Michael Jackson may not be the biological father of his two children. See? It's NOT incest. [Scoop]

You know how we said we didn't find much exciting in last night's Publishers Lunch deal report? That's because we forgot to put on our special bookworld decoder glasses before we started reading. A more alert reader points us to an in fact very interesting announcement:

Yesterday we mentioned our burning excitement at Nicole Richie's forthcoming book, which we hoped would explain how she lost 80% of her body weight in a matter of minutes. As it turns out, the September issue of Teen Vogue features Richie on its bite-sized cover and, lucky us, her book is mentioned in the resulting interview:

· Saddam Hussein owns a $90 million stake in Hachette Filipacchi. [Page Six]
· Judith Regan was nearly struck by lightening. Literally. [Page Six]
· "Queer as Folk" star Gale Harold on the show's straight female following: "Why is that a surprise? A big thing with heterosexual men is watching women together. So maybe our show has discovered some new aspect to female sexuality. Can that be bad?" [Liz Smith]
· Bruce Willis says recent events made him want to join the military, but friends told him he was too old. Simon and Garfunkel are considering doing a free show in Central Park. [NY Daily News]

· Harper Collins power publisher, Judith Regan, recruits Howard Stern to help her find a date and Eliot Spitzer is wearing Savile Row and Hermes on a government salary. [Page Six]
· Gwyneth's 70-person is entourage turned away in Cambridge and Charlie Rose learns to kiss by watching Al and Tipper Gore. [Liz Smith]
· Michael Douglas says what we've all been thinking: "I think I'm passé." [Cindy Adams]
· The singles scene is hopping at celebrity rehab. [NY Daily News]