Self-appointed "geeks" are nominating their blogosphere heroes to become America's CTO under presumptive President Barack Obama. The roster reads like the speaker list at any old emerging-technology conference: Larry Lessig. Tim O'Reilly. Dave Winer. Would any of these guys know a data governance strategy if it bit them on the face? Obviously, what their fans really want isn't a chief technology officer, it's someone to be Obama's Web 2.0 point man — a Social Media Czar. Guess who that should be?"They could use someone with a serious understanding of social media *and* some political / campaign experience," wrote a former government technology adviser in my inbox. "To my knowledge, they don't have that person." The role would be pretty simple: Keep President Obama's message out front and ahead of his detractors on Twitter, Facebook, Digg, Boing Boing and every other breaking-news feed used by Internet addicts who don't trust CNN. Because as this week's fumbled VP announcement demonstrated, if you aren't on message 24/7, you'll be claim-jumped by opponents jamming the channel with misinformation. Obama will need someone to lead the troops. Someone to be available as go-to person for the mainstream media reporters who'll write trend articles based on three status updates. The position doesn't need a pontificating "thought leader." It needs someone who knows how to own the Internet. Tim Berners-Lee? Marc Andreessen? Caterina Fake from Flickr? Are you serious? There's only one person on Earth with a proven ability to stay on top of Web 2.0 regardless of her message — or lack thereof. That's our always-on mascot Julia Allison. Unlike any of the proposed nominees, she's dated a congressman. Oh, and she worked on Capitol Hill as a "legislative correspondent." Not much, but that's more exposure to Beltway mores than most of the old goats currently being Twittered for the job. And more than any other member of the Web 2.0 mafia, Julia Allison has a proven track record of getting people to show up for parties — er, meetings. (Photo by Brian Solis)

Find Julia Allison! [Jezebel]

So John Edwards' maybe-babymama Rielle Hunter was a blabbermouth. Have you ever known anyone who had an affair with a married man? How'd you find out? Rhetorical question, yes! So, Radar wants to know why Rielle couldn't keep her freaking jaw in place about boning John Edwards. She would be so much better off if she'd just had a little discretion! Hey, did you ever think on how a widely-used synonym for "affair" is "indiscretion"? No, it's not so much that they go together like peanut butter and jelly; more like they're the exact same thing. What sort of patently talentless dilettante chats up a politician in a bar and manages to secure a lucrative contract with his campaign and either his or his close confidante's participation in unprotected sex? Answer: someone who shares the personality traits of a Donna Rice or Monica Lewinsky — the kind of woman who to enters beauty pageants, shares her innermost secrets with Linda Tripp or in this case blabs about married John from North Carolina to her web developer and anybody else who'll listen.Why do you think that whenever politicians from Bill Clinton to John Edwards stray, you always hear about the extensive efforts made by their staffers and confidantes to keep them away from their accomplices to infidelity? Because people like Rielle Hunter are not generally subtle; people like Rielle Hunter would equate "subtle" with a gentle snap of one's thong! In my years as a chronic oversharing discretion lacker I have found we often attract the same type. It's no accident Monica gave that exclusive interview to someone who just told the world how she used to screw Alan Greenspan! Which brings us to Rielle's ex Jay McInerney. He says he wrote about Rielle because he was "intrigued and appalled" by her behavior. I bet that in Rielle's case he would switch the verb to "bored" at this point. Which is what is so exceptionally unboring about Rielle Hunter! She changed her name, but unlike anti-pornography activist conservawife Donna Rice Hughes she never changed her ability to summon the energy to hit on powerful men and babble incessantly about it to all her blabbermouth friends. She would probably claim it was because she and John shared True Love. You might claim she is simply an incurable narcissist. I would say you're both right!

Last month, Alan Citron silently disappeared from TMZ.com, the gossip megasite he helped launch. He has suddenly reappeared at Buzznet, a music-blog startup that's dabbling in celebrity news. "It goes to my reputation of being quiet," he told me. I felt bad for Citron when, as the general manager of TMZ.com, he sat next to me on a panel on gossip at the South by Southwest conference in Austin this spring. Julia Allison, the notorious nobody with a nonstartup, stole the show, literally leaping from the audience onto the moderator's lap.It was utterly unfair: Citron had built TMZ.com, out of nowhere, into the Web's undisputed champ of 24/7 celebrity chatter, with some 10 million visitors a month. Allison had done exactly nothing, except for, unbelievably, further trivializing the very notion of fame. And yet Allison dominated the conversation. How was it that, in a newsroom full of gossips, no one thought to mention the departure of a top executive? Did he not make enough of an impression around the office? Citron's discretion is to his credit. But it's possible there's such a thing as being too quiet.

Even those who care nothing for the "lifestreaming" website NonSociety, the Bravo reality TV show pilot being spun off from it or the fameballs behind it can appreciate the fundamental truth on display on the site this weekend: Conflict is central to any "reality" driven broadcast. Without conflict, reality television would be watched mainly by sociology professors and prison inmates. That's why producers in the genre tend to seek out dramatic clashes of any sort, going so far as to line up racists, sexists and just overall idiots for their casts. It's also why the most interesting thing posted so far to NonSociety, one month in, is recently-insecure designer Mary Rambin's tiff with bitch-blogger Frangy over... well, over whether two streets intersect. Spoiler: Things do not end well for poor Mary.

Rapper turned startup advisor MC Hammer recently swanned through the San Francisco offices of Imeem, praising the music startup for its "beautiful women." Why are startups so prone to opening their doors to the man formerly known as Stanley Kirk Burrell? Attention from a pop star, however marginal, however faded, provides the insecure geeks who run these companies with priceless external validation. Their work must be important — why MC Hammer came to our offices and ogled our female coworkers! The sad thing is that Burrell has been working the startup circuit since the last bubble.I remember when he swanned into the offices of eCompany Now, a long-gone tech-business magazine I worked at, in 2000, camera crew in tow. They were working on a documentary about a "startup" that never materialized. There you go: Even that part of Julia Allison's business plan isn't original.

Fake it 'til you make it, as the saying goes. Noncelebrity Julia Allison is doing just that, advertising for three interns to do God knows what—in the words of the current intern, "One day you might be picking up dog for food [our dogs] Lilly and Mason, and the next you're researching great date spots or the newest gadget." We know, you're thinking "Why does one need an intern to help you run your professional Tumblr?" After the jump, actual evidence of what the last intern did: collect quotes from gushy reader e-mail for Julia's vanity-project "personal collection."

We asked for spies to infiltrate (far too dramatic a term, really) the Julia Allison/ Nonsociety pilot show shoot yesterday. We know the event caused a good deal of drama amongst the fameballs themselves; but what was it like for the average attendee, drawn in by the heady promise of proximity to Mary Rambin and co.? Gawker commenter Rolls Royce Revenge obliged by sending us a full report on the doings. The full tale of the "profoundly weird" experience (and JA's "steaming heaps of charisma"), after the jump:

Oh no! The fake launch party for the website of dating columnist Julia Allison and her fameball girlfriends—filmed for a pilot that will probably never air for their alleged reality show—ended in drama. Luckily, the girls have their lifecasting blogs to express their feelings. (We hope they've signed up for group therapy as they launch their business—crying it out is important!)

One of Julia Allison's posts to NonSociety yesterday began: "Today Meghan and I met with the most amazing real estate broker in Manhattan (and I’ve met a few) — Dain Lee from Corcoran." Allison's cofounder and fellow NonSociety blogger, Meghan Asha quoted the post on her blog and added, "Dain knows REAL ESTATE the way he knows fashion, have you ever seen a more pimp Broker? He SAVED us today, by showing us spaces that literally made me drool. NICE JOB DAIN!" Believe it or not — I didn't, at first — Allison and Asha tell us the dreadfully buoyant copy wasn't paid for by Lee, or Corcoran. But when NonSociety does start selling ads, they won't look much different.Before Allison started NonSociety, she actually sold product placements on her personal blog to Dunkin Donuts. She told us plans to bring a similar model to her new venture. "In the future, we absolutely intend to have authentic product placements," Allison said, mentioning Canon, Victoria's Secret, Sephora, American Express, and Cisco as brands she hopes will buy in. "We only want to plug products we genuinely believe in," Allison said. "We think that is the future of marketing — genuine product recommendations, no bullshit." Uncomfortably, we're on the same page as Allison when it comes to the market potential of product placements in online media. One of the more successful publishing startups over that past few years has been EQAL, the team behind Lonelygirl15 and KateModern, which actually earned solid revenues stuffing shows with as many Neutrogena and Hershey products as any episode of America's Next Top Model. That company's cofounders, Greg Goodfried and Miles Beckett, just landed $5 million in funding. Allison has higher goals. "12 months from now," she tells us, "you will no longer refer to me as a nontrepreneur." True. Product placement requires some level of trust from the audience. If even Allison's non-product-placement endorsements continue to be so gushily nongenuine, we likely won't have to refer to her at all.

NonSociety, Julia Allison's new media project of indeterminate meaning, needs your help! The protocelebrity and Wired cover girl is filming a TV pilot show for Bravo with her friends, and she's sent out an invitation seeking "35 fashionable, vivacious people who will agree to go on camera." It's interesting that while Julia's show has been heavily hyped for some time, she's rather self-deprecating about its prospects. The exclusive affair happens tonight, so the invite is last-minute. While you might expect, say, half of your friends to come to a party you throw, we're conservatively estimating that Julia is counting on around a 5% response rate, meaning she sent this email out to 700 people in search of 35 takers. We could be wrong! After the jump, read the entire invite-then RSVP and help her out. It's the least you can do. Spies, please send us some details.

Last year, we brought you the news of Williamsburg's hipster doctor, Jay Parkinson of Hello Health, who will diagnose you via the IM if necessary. Well, not really, that's just how you contact him—"by phone, e-mail, text, IM, or video chat." We're so glad we were able to be servicey: our favorite dating columnist/punching bag Julia Allison, who still hasn't applied for insurance yet, got an eye infection and ran straight to McDreamy:It was dutifully lifecasted.

Richard Blakeley, the Gawker videologist who turned this year's CES into a TV-free zone, has turned his clicker on Wired covergirl Julia Allison. She is a rich target for parody: the lip dubs, the outfits, the new friends she charms into acting like old friends. The only problem with Blakeley's "NomSociety," a spoof of Allison's startup NonSociety? It assumes that anyone was ever paying attention to Allison's "startup." The original work, which you probably haven't seen, below:

• Tyra Banks is to dress as Michelle Obama for Harper's Bazaar, thus ending all rumors about the prospective first lady being kind of crazy and off the handle. [NYM, P6]

1) Lisa Salzer had a party last night for her jewelry line Lulu Frost, where hosts Alexis Bryan Morgan and Elettra Rossellini Wiedemann were joined by Erin Fetherston and Hedi Ferjani, Derek Blasberg, Luigi Tadini, Kathryn Neale Shaffer, Peter Davis, Kate Schelter, and Carole Radziwill, who were rewarded for walking up the five flights of stairs with a live Cuban band and cocktails. [Paper/style file]

Iminlikewithyou creator Charles Forman whispers something to NonSociety creator Julia Allison at the Ignite party in New York last night, where he publicly announced their breakup. Can you come up with a better caption? Do so in the comments. The best one will become this post's new headline. Yesterday's winner: "Marissa Mayer demonstrates Google's new 'invisible cupcake' technology, currently in beta" by hopelessdeskmonkey. (Photo by Nick McGlynn)

They always made for an unlikely couple. Besides a Manhattan address, a burning desire for tech-world fame, ties to Digg founder Kevin Rose, and towering self-regard, Iminlikewithyou founder Charles Forman and former Star TV spokeswoman Julia Allison had practically nothing in common. And now they have broken up, with publicly delivered disses. Allison's mechanism: Twitter, where she wished for "a boyfriend who isn't a whiny bitch." Forman's forum: YouTube, where a tirade against "celebrichauns with founder fetishes" was uploaded. The anti-Allison rant:

Fameball web boy Charles Forman's hilarious talk at last night's Ignite tech conference was called "How to Date a Celebrechaun." These are the types of girls with "founder fetish," who clog around startup boys and are the closest thing to groupies that computer geeks will ever have. "They will blow your IT guy to get to you," he warns. You might remember Charles "Not Gay" Forman as previously "dating" self-created net-celeb Julia Allison. Yes, she's included in his speech, shot by Nick McGlynn and edited by Richard Blakeley.

DID THIS WOMAN KILL BRAVO'S JULIA ALLISON AND STEAL HER DOG Y/N?? [Non Society]