Justin Bieber, bottle-assaulted teen fever causer, has decided to lend his considerable endorsement power to the Proactiv brand of acne acids. Pursuant to that, he has filmed a television commercial promoting the patented skin salve. It's pretty EXTREME.

So, the Teen Choice Awards are airing right now, and this year's watercooler moment just happened: Shaquille O'Neal presented Justin Bieber with his four awards, they flirted a bit, and then Bieber gave an awkward performace of "Smile." Video inside.

At a recent radio concert, professional Day-of-the-Week underpants moistener Justin Bieber was talking to his adoring fans when one detractor decided to chuck a water bottle directly at his face. There is no reason to post this except, ha ha.

Lady Gaga crowd surfs in pasties and fishnet, and gets licked. Dina Lohan plans a family garage sale. Katy Perry's new song is about how bad her ex-boyfriend was in bed. Monday gossip is orally fixated.

Hello, Old Person. Would you like to be annoyed and confused? Let's talk about the chipmunk-voiced YouTube phenomenon known as 'Fred'. He has a new movie coming out, and all the kids are going to be talking about it.

They're doing something that involves Russians and Americans and it all sounds very dangerous. Also today: new roles for Kurt Russell, the dumb brother from O Brother Where Art Thou, and Morgan Freeman. Plus, the end of an Entertainment era.

At least, that's what I assume is happening in this still image provided by CBS, in which the boy wonder touches a "corpse." His look of horror is so intense, you'd think his voice just cracked for the first time.

Singer Justin Bieber, who is 16, will play himself in a 3D biopic about his life. The man who directed An Inconvenient Truth is in negotiations to direct it. I don't know what else to say. Good luck, earth. [Deadline]

After thirteen days of incarceration, Lindsay Lohan has been released. Justin Bieber is writing an "illustrated memoir." T.I. tied the knot, and so did James Van Der Beek. Monday gossip is free at last.

When I woke up this morning, the last thing I expected to see was a clip of Shaquille O'Neal singing to Justin Bieber. But this exists, and it is our duty to share it.

While tooling around on his Segway, Canadian teen underpants dampener Justin Bieber was spotted by a fan. Then another, and another, until a swarm of shrieking girls was upon him. He got away the only way he could: by Segway.

Sort of for the second time. Also today: Comic Con news from Joss Whedon, two movie stars want to work with Hilary Swank for some reason, TV shows shuffle their actors, and Justin Bieber is involved in a murder.

Okay, not physically attacking, but Olivia Munn tried her hardest to combine Justin Bieber with something even more gross than spider cows to freak out Kevin Pereira. This was followed by a beautifully hilarious Bieber impersonation by Olivia.

Last night, the users of 4Chan.org's notorious /b/ message board declared war on the lead singer of an obscure electro-pop band. More than 12 hours later, they're still waging it. This is how the Internet's worst trolls work.

With 246.5 million views, Justin Bieber's "Baby" just surpassed Lady Gaga's "Bad Romance" as the most watched YouTube video of all time. Here are both videos. Feel free to hit "replay" one million times to make Gaga win again.

Lest there be any doubt that Taiwanese animators are baiting us with their quaintly foreign CGI videos: "Internet Turns on Justin Bieber" dramatizes 4chan and Justin Bieber's syphilis rumor. It also shows baby Bieber clinging to a suspiciously phallic microphone.

Ticket sales for all the concerts in the country combined has dropped to a new low, and many big-name acts are under-performing. How could this happen? Maybe because all the bands are old and no one wants to see them.

In the special Justin Bieber: My World, Justin and his disapproving mother discuss how Justin really loves the ladies. Ladies of all ages are crazy for Justin, so much so that Biebs can never tell who's genuine and who isn't.

Voting has closed on the unofficial poll to determine a destination for Canadian song-and-dance-man Justin Bieber's upcoming tour. And North Korea won! But not because the desperate, starving populace voted for him. It was because of the internet. LOL! [Faxo]

The plot to send Canada's kewtie to North Korea is heating up! The online poll (about where Biebs should tour next) now has 500,000 4chan-encouraged votes for the Communist stronghold. A North Korean official has basically said "We'll see."