Today at Gawker.TV, Paula Deen lets loose on The View, Kenneth the Page's shirtless 30 Rock scenes, Kirstie Alley swears Conan was fired because of bad karma, and Miley Cyrus and Jay Leno bond over being widely-hated.

What's got Kirstie Alley's panties in a bunch? First she starts a twitter battle against our hero and now she's blasting his Tonight Show departure on karma, saying "he doesn't have a show and I do."

Today at Gawker.TV, Rod Blagojevich gets mistaken for Donny Osmond on Celebrity Apprentice, Kirstie Alley's show reveals her love of the Wii, The Simpsons goes soft, and Cleveland's cast ventures to our fair city and drops by Saturday Night Live.

Kirstie Allie may be a profanity-spouting Scientologist, but she's no fool. Tonight on Kirstie Alley's Big Life, when her daughter tries to convince her that Wii Fit can help with her weight loss, Kirstie wants no part of it.

Today we took a look at crazy Kirstie Alley and her crazy pills. You people had much to say — about Scientology, weight loss, and bullshit. But one commenter was reminded of a larger, and timelier, political debate.

Kirstie Alley was on Today this morning hawking Organic Liaison, her weight-loss rip-off. Asked if all the (true) claims about the link between Organic Liaisons and Scientology are true, which they are, she said, "Bullshit."

Anti-Scientology campaign group Anonymous, and some blogs, are airing accusations that Scientologist Kirstie Alley's new weight loss program, Organic Liaison, is based on quackery preached by L. Ron Hubbard, and that the company has links to the 'church'.

• Is it possible that Natalie Portman isn't as sweet as she looks? She reportedly started seeing her new boyfriend, New York City Ballet dancer Benjamin Millepied, while he was still dating—and living with—his girlfriend of three years. Portman and Millepied began dating in the fall, but the girlfriend reportedly only got the shaft just after New Year's, poor thing. [P6]
• So are Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie splitting up or not? One possible sign they are not separating: Pitt was seen returning to the LA home he shares with Jolie yesterday. One sign they are: A British tabloid reports Pitt "secretly" (or not-so-secretly) purchased "a bachelor pad to help him sort out his split from Angelina Jolie," and it's equipped with underground cave "where he can be alone and think about what he does next." Take your pick. [TMZ, DM]
• There's a new party boy in town at Sundance, and his name is Bill Gates. The 54-year-old nerd/philanthropist was spotted dancing on a banquette until 2am and confessed he was on the prowl for "that chick from Twilight" (Kristen Stewart), because he wanted to "see her movie." Or something. [P6]

Howard Stern turns 56 today. Fellow radio personality Rush Limbaugh is turning 59. CNN's Christiane Amanpour turns 52. Fashion designer Mark Badgley of Badgley Mischka is 49. Kirstie Alley turns 59. Amazon.com founder Jeff Bezos is turning 46. Actor Oliver Platt turns 50. New York City Councilman James Oddo is 44. The rapper Raekwon is turning 42. And Heather Mills, Paul McCartney's ex-wife, turns 42 today.

Kristen Stewart's corruption of Dakota Fanning is complete, Joe Francis is filing for bankruptcy, and Kirstie Alley says Conan "acts like I bit his dick off." Thursday's gossip has castration anxiety.

Playgirl's spokesman made a crack about Anderson Cooper's sexuality; Kirstie Alley went ballistic on Conan O'Brien and Kevin Rose dissed Mike Arrington. The Twitterati had their claws fully extended.

The Irish bookmaker Paddy Power is taking bets on which celebrity will be the next to turn their backs on L. Ron Hubbard. John Travolta leads the pack at 9:4 odds, and Tom Cruise is at 50:1. Place your markers.

Jessica Simpson loved her probably-eaten dog like a child; Kirstie Alley is spending money buying imaginary things and Wolf Blitzer posted a celebrity photo to his new Twitter account. The Twitterati let their emotions guide them.

Satan made George W. Bush invade Iraq; Barack Obama made White Sox hats cool and Kirstie Alley was thoroughly entertained by the National Enquirer. There are no such things as strange bedfellows, to the Twitterati.

Wired editors contemplated crystal meth; Paul Carr cursed out #hashtags and Kirstie Alley got into it with a paparazzo. The Twitterati felt seedy today.

The Twitterati weren't themselves: Caroline McCarthy was mistaken for airline staff; a Guardian writer turned into one of the Stepford Wives and a professional tattoo aficionado found himself destroying art.

It was a "Monday-ish" Monday for the Twitterati: A Washington Post reporter got deserted by his followers; a Time columnist had to listen to Kiefer Sutherland attempt comedy and Kirstie Allie had to KILL.

Rihanna probably doesn't care that her outfit made people wonder if she's lesbian and Kiefer Sutherand is unrepentant about attacking a designer at SubMercer. But Kirstie Alley is ashamed of her 83 new pounds.

Radio personalities Howard Stern and Rush Limbaugh don't have much in common, but they do share a birthday: Howard is 55 today, while Rush is turning 58. Others celebrating: CNN's Christiane Amanpour is 51. Kirstie Alley is 58. Amazon.com founder Jeff Bezos is 45. Badgley Mischka's Mark Badgley is turning 48. Chef Rebecca Charles is turning 55. Actor Oliver Platt is 49. New York City Councilman James Oddo is 43. Rob Zombie is 44. And Heather Mills turns 41 today.

A new kind of crisis recently befell the Church of Scientology, accusations serious enough to reduce those Suri-sippy-cup and Will Smith Brainwash Academy rumors to mere enturbulatory afterthoughts: An ex-member has filed a $250 million suit against the Church in Florida, invoking federal racketeering statutes generally reserved for the Mafia and other crime syndicates. Even more ambitiously, the suit reportedly names Tom Cruise as a primary conspirator in Scientology's global scheme, which plaintiff Peter Letterese claims to have encompassed threats and harassment of himself and his attorney. It's a devastating charge that stands to upend celebrity religion as we know it — more details and a brief analysis by the Defamer Legal Team follow after the jump.We know, we know: Racketeering? Scientologists? But they seem so modest! Nevertheless, as we're learning today, it's not just the Catholics who allegedly have ethics-challenged leeches dangling from the flock's soft flesh: