In a moment of recollection ripped right out of the tenderest bit of fan fiction, Kirstie Alley has revealed in a new book that she and actor Patrick Swayze had an affair...of The Heart...while both were married to other people.

Today's edition of The Independent offers a profile of Marty Rathbun, a member of the Church of Scientology for 27 years, now considered a "heretic." As a high-ranking official, Rathbun worked with high-profile Scientologists like Tom Cruise, John Travolta, Kirstie Alley, and Greta Van Susteren. Since he left the Church, he has been hounded by damaging allegations and a weirdly persistent "documentary crew" known as the "SQUIRREL BUSTERS."

LiLo "rudely confronts" her millionaire boyfriend's wife. Did Queen Latifah leave her girlfriend for someone new? George Clooney reminisces on his youth as a farmhand. Shaq and Will Smith go to the Cheesecake Factory. TGIFriday gossip.

You may not give a flying caftan that it's still Fashion Week, but all the very fashionable people and retail stores and models and kids who go to FIT care, so we have to appease them with some photos of the goings on, don't we? Yes, we certainly do.

Lindsay Lohan buys something on the streets of Venice Beach. Dianna Agron thinks Lindsay is "sad." Gloria Steinem hates on the Kardashians. Rebecca Black says she got bullied out of school. Thursday gossip suspends disbelief.

George Clooney's rumored rebound fling could fling him across the room. Carey Mulligan gets engaged. Kim Kardashian emulates Kate Middleton. Hugh Hefner planks. Demi Lovato credits her success to Barney the dinosaur. Thursday gossip dominates.

Phat actress Kirstie Alley has a new TV show in the works, so she is a working actress again! Also today: Saturday Night Live lands some funny hosts, Lauren Ambrose takes a big musical role, and Ashton Kutcher is sad and rich.

Kirstie Alley's turn on Dancing with the Stars earlier this year helped revive her career. It also resulted in a revival of fat jokes about the actress with David Letterman chief among the offenders. So when Alley appeared on tonight's Late Show, it was all but inevitable that she'd bring up the issue. Which she did pretty much immediately.

Today GLAAD took 30 Rock manchild Tracy Morgan back down to Tennessee by the ear and told him to apologize once again for making an offensive joke about gay people. But just as one controversy starts, another one begins.

Crystal Harris goes to the pool with Heidi Montag. Frankie Muniz runs for office. Kirstie Alley annoys people on the train. Sunday gossip is a runaway bride.

Lindsay and Paris' would-be feud may already have ended. Paul McCartney is engaged. And Justin Bieber wants you to be cyber-responsible. Saturday's gossip once walked in on its husband sleeping with its dad. (It was the '60s!)

Tonight, David Letterman told a joke about the A380 that clipped a smaller plane at JFK and compared the jumbo jet to Kirstie Alley. Later he wondered whether Alley is comfortable being called "heavy or large or jumbo or fat" before apologizing to her—but that didn't stop the jokes.

On last week's Dancing with the Stars, Kirstie Alley fell down after partner Maksim Chmerkovskiy's leg gave out from under her. On tonight's live performance episode, the former TV star suffered yet another embarrassment when her shoe came off mid-dance. Where's Xenu when you need him?

Kirstie Alley started off this season of Dancing with the Stars in surprisingly strong fashion. On tonight's live performance show, however, the 60-year-old took an embarrassing tumble after partner Maksim Chmerkovskiy's leg gave out from under her. Oy gevalt.

This week on Dancing With the Stars, our favorite contestants started realizing a few things about themselves. Kirstie Alley realized she's Maksim's fattest partner and both Kendra and Wendy Williams had a few realizations about their breasts.

• Michael Lohan is "hurt' by the fact that Lindsay Lohan wants to drop her last name, Madonna-style: "I'm proud of the Lohan name. It's a name of integrity," he told the Daily News. "We all had very successful jobs on Wall Street. My father was an unbelievable provider. My sisters are pillars of the community. There's not a blemish in my family outside of me." So maybe Lindsay should change her name to Lindsay "Not-Michael-Lohan". NYDN]

On The Tonight Show, new—and better than expected—Dancing with the Stars contestant Kirstie Alley appeared for a chat with Jay Leno. Things were all well and good, until Leno got creepy/pervy regarding Alley's Dancing partner, Maksim Chmerkovskiy.

Did you know that Kirstie Alley is 60 years old? Did you know that she's a contestant on this season of Dancing with the Stars, which premiered tonight? Did you know that she actually danced a really good Cha-cha-cha?

Last night on Kirstie Alley's Big Life, Kirstie celebrated her birthday! And everyone was there! Her kids, her friends, and even her Look Who's Talking co-star John Travolta. Was it sweet that he came? Yes. Was it novel? Hardly.