Oh dear. Let's just do what the nice lady says and, "everybody back off." Slowly.

Kristen Stewart cheated on Robert Pattinson with Snow White and the Huntsmen director Rupert Sanders. Rupert Sanders cheated on his wife Liberty Ross with Kristen Stewart. And both, under the spell of some mysterious PR draught, issued statements within minutes of each other apologizing to their cheatees.

Twilight fans were hit hard last night on all gossip fronts with news of an alleged affair between Kristen Stewart and married-with-children director Rupert Sanders who is 19 years her senior.

The above is a (NSFW) scene from the upcoming film adaptation of On the Road. It is the first time in which we the public are privy to Kristen Stewart's boobs. Also the first we see her giving two gentlemen handjobs at the same time. We did it everybody.

Aside from the Queen's Diamond Jubilee, there is not much going on today. Luckily, the U.S. has its own important ceremony on the horizon — the MTV Movie Awards. And E! Online is ready to answer your most burning question: where is everyone sitting?

Snow White & the Huntsman has several cool tricks up its ornately designed sleeve, but the coolest one of all is its focus on its wicked queen's existential crisis. That is, after all, what's always driven the action of this oft- and increasingly told tale – the aging queen's savage jealousy of younger beauty is what forces Snow White away from her rightful castle, into the cabin of seven dwarves. It's what almost kills our protagnoist and it's what unites her with her true love, a prince.

Here's the jazzy trailer for On the Road, the adaption of Jack Kerouac's days of Beat anthem, brought to you by Motorcycle Diaries director Walter Salles.

Mumblecouple Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart have vacated their California coffin-on-a-cliff. The 2,604-square-foot home it is listed at $5.9 million.

Last night Robert Pattinson went to the Los Angeles bar La Poubelle (French for "dirty cheater") and hung out with actress Sarah Roemer, who once worked with his accidental wife Kristen Stewart on a movie. Suspiciously, Stewart was not with them. Did they canoodle?

Today sees the release of Twilight: Something About Dawn, Part Nine in cineplexes across America and already every American girl between the ages of 10 and 18 has screamed herself hoarse at a midnight screening. But I don't care one lick about this movie or the whole franchise, and here's why.

Throwaway husband Kris Humphries goes into the jewelry business. Michael Bublé calls Kim Kardashian a "bitch." Leonardo DiCaprio turns 37. Kristen Stewart on her Twilight premiere dress: "Well, it's purple and it's a gown." Tuesday gossip is addicted to fame.

Never in my life have I waited out on the street to attend an event, and I certainly never spent five days in a tent in the rain waiting for a movie premiere. But that's just what the Twihards are doing in L.A. right now. These kids are nuts.

Jay-Z confirms your suspicions about Kanye West. Brad Pitt wants to quit acting in "three years." Demi Lovato goes to a wedding and catches the bouquet. Lindsay Lohan returns to the nightlife scene. Monday gossip gets upstaged.

The big battle of the Snow White movies is brewing and it looks like Snow White and the Huntsman is throwing the first punch since its trailer came out today. Julia Roberts' evil queen can't be nearly as good as Charlize Theron's!

Kristen Stewart's irrepressible sexiness imperils a movie franchise for kids. George Clooney gave Stacy Keibler crabs. Kris Jenner on Kim keeping her engagement ring: "I hate Indian givers." Dina Lohan blabs about LiLo's Playboy contract. TGIFriday gossip.

Come join James Franco for a James Dean-themed sex-doll orgy-slash-art-project! Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart are married... or are they?! And Justin Timberlake has a crush. Saturday gossip is a rebel, Saturday gossip is a rebel, Saturday gossip is a rebel.

Ashton's hot blonde lover tells all. Kristen Stewart says her teachers failed her. Beyonce says her bump is real. Rashida Jones poses in bunny ears and calls penises "unsexy." Wednesday gossip lasts for hours.

Kristen Stewart instructs an interviewer to google her love life. Rachel Uchitel gets married. Kim Kardashian renews her vows. Blake Lively rides a train with Ryan Reynolds. Kristin Cavallari and Jay Cutler reunite. Wednesday gossip cultivates an air of mystery.

Alexis Stewart drops a bombshell: She has seen her mother pee, and it was disturbing. Elizabeth Hurley gets engaged. James Marsden gets divorced. Joseph Gordon-Levitt ruminates on the relative sexiness of slaves. Monday gossip has mommy issues.

Paula Abdul's personal mantra is also her staff's. Adam Sandler is accused of dining and dashing. The cast of The Help likes to skinny dip. Angelina Jolie is "as kinky and insatiable as ever." TGIFriday gossip is titillating.